Darkness
by Mekabella21
Summary: Stan stayed with the goth kids from 4th grade after Wendy broke up with him. Currently in his senior year on the verge of flunking the class he needs to graduate. His teacher assigns Kyle to be his tutor. Kyle wants nothing to do with Stan hurt over the decision made so long ago. The heart wants what the heart wants, not everyone will agree. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

STAN

I flick away my finished cigarette. I'm beyond frustrated and so over school. I'm this close to wanting to drop out but my mom will kill me. It is close to the end of my senior year so much longer.

"Raven," said Pete flipping his red colored bangs off his eyes. I don't think he will ever get rid of his signature hairstyle. Pete has gotten a lot taller standing at 5'9 with a medium build. He is not heavy but not thin either. "You start that tutoring today?"

"Unfortunately…" I drone leaning against the brick wall behind me.

"It could always be worse," said Henriette blowing her cigarette smoke away from me. "I mean we have what… 6 months left in this place." Henriette is still heavy set. Her mom tried putting her on a diet our sophomore year which ended up with her eating more to piss her mom off so she finally left her alone. She tends to wear corsets a lot to make her look slimmer. She wore her hair long for a while until she says it started to get on her fucking nerves. Now she is wearing a bob that is long in the front and short in the back.

"Longer if Raven here doesn't do well on in his math class," said Pete.

"Whatever," I muttered. "Michael is off this Friday?"

"Yeah," replied Henriette. "We're suppose to be hanging out in my house."

"God, I was thinking we could all get a place together or something," said Pete. "Michael is dying to get away from his parents."

"I think we all are at this point," said Henriette. "I will kill myself if I have to live with my folks another year."

"I guess it is something we can discuss on Friday," I replied. I pull out my phone seeing it time for me to go to my tutor session. "I'll see you guys later." I walk into the school heading towards the library. I start to think about the last couple of years. I pretty much hate life in general and everything around me. The only thing that makes me happy is writing and hanging with my friends. I haven't been the same since Wendy broke up with me in 4th grade. I know it's weird hard a grudge that long but that heartbreak was enough to last me a lifetime. I never felt such betrayal because of that I haven't dated anyone since.

I walk into the library and look around for where I'm suppose to be meeting this nerdy ass tutor. All I know is that I'm suppose to meet them in the school library. I spot Wendy and I swear I almost bolted for the door. I always do my best to avoid her. She looks the same for the most part except more aged up. I try not to stare at her too hard because I feel the hurt all over again if I do too long. I swallow my pride and continue walking towards her. She sees me and immediately walks away towards a table with two students already there. It looks like she has some people she is already tutoring. I see a table with a bag on the chair but no one is at the table. I stand there feeling more stupid by the minute. I refuse to ask Wendy a damn thing. I turn to leave when I see Kyle. He looks just as surprised to see me as I am to see him.

"Stan," He is shorter than me with his 5'8 height compared to my 6'0. You wouldn't look at him and think he is a tutor. He is dressed down in sneakers, jeans, and a tee. His hair is not as curly as I remember, it looks like he straightened it or something. I don't know shit about this stuff but I do know that his hair is not curly how it was before. I shift when I get to his green eyes forcing myself not to be embarrassed for staring too hard.

"It's Raven," I correct him shoving my hands into my black jeans. "What do you want?"

"The attitude is not necessary," he replied. "You can go about your business, you're interrupting the tutor session I have set up." This catches my attention.

"I'm here to be tutored," I say slowly. Kyle's eyes get wide a little confirming what I know deep down inside.

"What subject?" he asked.

"Math," he sighs.

"I'm the math tutor and Wendy handles English," Thank god, I would die if I had to sit with her. I shiver thinking about it. "Well, you are in the right place although you are late. Did you bring the required materials?" Nice to see his ass hasn't changed too much.

"No," I replied like he just asked me a stupid question.

"How am I going to help you and you're not even trying," he said agitatedly.

"It's the first session. I figured you would do your smart thing or whatever."

"Seriously Stan, oh I'm sorry Raven. I need to see your quizzes, homework, notes so I can see the teacher's teaching style. It also helps me to know what is being discussed in your class. I'm not there so I need that information."

"Are you making fun of me?" I ask almost growling. I don't like how he said my name, Raven.

"I'm not making fun of you," he snapped. He is still hot-tempered as ever. "I'm trying to make sure you graduate."

"As if you really care about me," I said almost yelling. I see the librarian give us a look. I could give two shits right now about being quiet, they are lucky I even set foot in here.

"Do you want to finish school or not?" he questioned folding his arms over his chest. "I would love to see the look on your mom's face when she finds out you're not graduating," I growl at the fact he still knows my family so well. "I thought so, now sit down." I reluctantly plop down in the chair feeling like a fool. I fold my arms trying to calm down. Kyle was my best friend. He made one attempt to help me after the breakup but that was it, like what the hell. Some best friend you are. "What kind of math are you taking?"

"Geometry," I muttered.

"Good," he replied ignoring my attitude sitting down in the chair across from me. "Since you did not bring anything with you, do you know what you're working on right now?"

"Not really," I shrugged. Kyle signs again.

"Do you even want this? I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself."

"I want to finish school and get this shit over with," I reply.

"Well we're not going to get anything done today without your materials," he replied. "Do you know what days you will be coming here after school?"

"I haven't decided," I replied.

"I will be able to make a suggestion depending on how much help you need," he replied as he packed up his books. "Meet me here tomorrow and this time please bring the required materials." I stand up more annoyed than when I first got here. I walk away without even saying bye to him. Talking down to me like I'm some kid. I get to the parking lot hoping inside my dad's old car and pulling off.

I get home going straight to my room. My family is use to me not chatting with them much at this point. The one thing I like about being goth is even Shelly doesn't fuck with me. She use to hit me a lot as a kid for no damn reason, not anymore. She knows I will fight back and she wants no part of that. I pull out my phone messaging Pete.

Raven: Hey what are you doing

Pete: Aren't you studying

Raven: No I didn't have any of my shit

Pete: Typical

Raven: Fucking Kyle is my tutor

Pete: No way

Raven: Yeah then I saw fucking Wendy

Pete: Sounds like you were in hell, was it nice?

I laugh before sending him my next message.

Raven: Fuck you, no it wasn't nice it was fucking weird

Pete: I do feel sorry you're forced to have to talk to these morons. Just do what you need to pass the class

I take off my clothes changing into some black sweats and a faded black tee that I have washed a million times. I sit on my bed turning on the TV. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. I just have so many unresolved feelings about my old friends ditching me. I grab a pen and paper deciding to get my feelings out.


	2. Chapter 2

KYLE

I release a deep breath as I watch Stan walk out of the library without a word. His hair is so long that it is in his eyes. He is wearing black skinny jeans which I hate with a passion. I couldn't tell what he had on under that black hoodie he was wearing. I don't even know if he will be here tomorrow at this point. It looked like he was in pain just being in here. I'm calling him Raven because he is Stan at the end of the day and I want him to graduate. It's a shame he is such an ass.

"You okay?" asked Wendy walking over to me. Wendy is pretty slim making most of the girls in school jealous. Slim figure, waist length hair, not a zit in sight with perfect grades. If only they knew everything Wendy did to stay ahead they wouldn't be so jealous.

"I'm fine," I replied. Wendy looks at the door Stan just exited.

"I don't get it," she replied. "He has been this way for years. It is not healthy to hold in that much anger."

"You know Stan can be stubborn when he wants to," I reply. "I gave up on him a long time ago."

"Not entirely," smiled Wendy. "You're trying to get him to graduate."

"I don't even know it was him I was going to be tutoring," I explain. "I wonder if he will even show up tomorrow."

"I'm sure you will figure out how to deal with him," says Wendy confidently. "Us wanting to be teachers we have to." Wendy and I both want to go to college to be teachers. My goal is to really be a college professor but you have to start somewhere.

"I will figure it out," I replied grabbing my messenger bag and adjusting it on my shoulder. I like this bag much better than a backpack, feels more comfortable. I run my hands through my hair as I head out of the school. Investing in a perm is the best thing I ever did. My hair is so easy to deal with now. My tight curls now are wavy without me doing anything to them. Some days I will blow dry it straight but that is not often. I walk out the doors and see Kenny sitting on top of his pick up sucking on a lollipop. I'm glad he waited for me because I'm in no mood to walk today. Kenny's hair is way past his shoulders making him look like a hippie but trust me he is no hippie. Those lean muscles and dazzling smile has the girls falling over themselves for him. I am slightly jealous he is 6'1 but at least I'm not shorter than I am now. "Thanks for waiting for me."

"No problems here," said Kenny. "You finished really early today."

"Not really," I replied. "I found out my new student is Stan."

"Stan!" exclaimed Kenny taking his lollipop out of his mouth. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Very," I said getting into his truck. Kenny gets behind the wheel starting up the truck.

"How is he?" he asks. "I mean we see him around and all but you know how him and his friends are."

"He is an asshole," I replied. "Nothing to it. He brought nothing to the session and I know the teacher told him to. It's a requirement for us tutoring students. Like he acted like he didn't want to be there."

"Maybe he didn't want to be there," said Kenny as he starts toward my house. "Man I still miss him sometimes." I miss Stan sometimes too. I think more so than Kenny or even Cartman. Stan was truly my best friend and things haven't been the same since he left our group. Cartman at one point tried to replace Stan but that didn't go well. You can't replace Stan, you just can't. I feel that slight ache in my heart I always do when I think too hard about him.

"If he doesn't get this he is going to fail," I admit.

"We can't let Stan fail!" exclaimed Kenny.

"We didn't do anything," I correct. "He is doing this to himself."

"Kyle, promise me you will help him," I just glare at Kenny. "Please promise me." Kenny does his best to give me bambi eyes.

"Fine!" I reply. Kenny smiles and starts talking about his day at school today. He always seems to have the weirdest adventures and random shit just happen to him. He pulls up in front of my house and I'm more than happy to be home. I come into the house, I know mom is in the kitchen cooking. I go to the kitchen to greet her. "Hey, mom,"

"Hi, how was your day?" she asks.

"It was good," I replied. "I will be upstairs in my room okay."

"Okay," she smiled turning away from the pot. "I will come and grab you when dinner is ready."

"Thanks," I reply. I head towards my room and I sigh once I'm inside. I put up all my belongings up grabbing my items to shower. During my shower, I'm distracted by this whole Stan thing. He is now taller than me, he appears to be 6'0 and I am 5'8. He was staring at me so hard I almost became uncomfortable but then he opened his fucking mouth pissing me off.

I get back to my room feeling nice and clean as I change into my favorite sleeping clothes. I put on my favorite body butter. Don't judge me, it makes my skin so smooth and keeps me well moisturized. I did my homework during lunch so I do not have to worry about that. I spend the rest of my evening trying to keep myself busy because I keep thinking back to Stan.


	3. Chapter 3

KYLE

I'm beyond pissed. He didn't show up! I knock on the Marshes door, yes I went to their house. I could let him fail but a part of me can't allow that. I hope me showing up here will put the fear of God in him. Shelly opens the door and I can tell she is surprised to see me. Shelly has really grown into her features losing the braces and actually taking time to comb her hair. Makes a huge difference. She is dressed in crewneck long sleeve shirt and some skinny jeans with colorful socks on her feet.

"Wow," she drones. "I haven't seen you here in forever."

"Hi Shelly," I say forcing a smile on my face. "Is Stan here? We are suppose to be studying." Shelly laughs opening the door wide for me to walk in.

"Seriously, Stan study," she snorts. "God I'm surprised it's not hailing outside. Well, good luck. He and his little closet creeper friends are upstairs." I roll my eyes knowing who all I'm going to have to deal with. "His room is in the same spot." Shelly goes to sit in front of the TV. Well then….I close their front door and head up the stairs.

It amazes me how the house hadn't really changed but did at the same time, it feels different to me. Maybe it is because I have not been here in years. I mean it, it has been years. I get to Stan's room to see the door is closed. I can hear what sounds like depressing ass music. I sigh opening the door not bothering to knock knowing he would not let me in if he knew it was me. The look on their faces at the bright light is enough to die of laughter.

"What the hell!" exclaimed Henriette shielding her eyes. I close the door. No need to be mean because I'm certainly kicking them out.

"What are you doing here Kyle?" asked Ike. I look at my little brother in his dark grey skinny jeans with a dark grey and black striped long sleeve shirt that is way too big for him. Ike has his hair styled like Firkle except he has the ends dyed a navy blue. Bright blue would be considered emo, I really don't know the fucking difference just only what Ike tells me.

"This doesn't concern you," I replied. "Stan where the hell was you today?"

"It's Raven," corrects Ike.

"Whatever," I reply. I turn my attention to Stan. "What happened?"

"I have other things to do," he muttered.

"Moping is not what I would call things to do," I replied a little angry. "You guys are going to have to leave."

"You can't just barge in here making demands," said Pete.

"I totally agree," said Michael. Michael has really grown into himself standing at 6'1 with a curly hairstyle I would even rock if I hadn't permed mines. He looks a little more normal now as he is wearing a blood red tee but has black open sweater on with black skinny jeans. Firkle is sitting next to Ike on the floor in complete silence. Firkle and Ike are the shortest of the group, Finkle only got to 5'6 and my brother is 5'7.

"Oh look at the time," I said pulling out my phone. "Your mom will be home in oh I don't know….10 minutes. I would love for her to know why I'm really here." I see Stan's face go red.

"You're being a total bitch," snarled Henriette.

"So are you, now get the fuck out," I replied tried of their shit already. I can see Henriette look at Stan.

"Are you going to let him talk to us like that?" she asked in disgust.

"I will talk to you guys later," he muttered. "I'm doing this for my mom okay. She will kill me if I fail, I can't have her knowing I'm currently failing."

"Whatever," said Henrietta standing up. "We can move the gathering to my room." Everyone else follows her lead.

"Raven," said Ike. "Your poem today was emotionally dark. Fucking loved it. You should put it on the message board."

"I will," said Stan standing up from his bed. "I wanted to know what you guys thought first."

"As if you give a shit what we think," laughed Ike. I clear my throat. Ike gives me a mean look. "Later." He leaves closing the room door. I noticed that everything in his room is gray or black. His walls are painted gray making the room look smaller than it is any kind of depressing. He has nothing on his walls, the bronco's poster is long gone.

"Do you have another chair?" I asked wanting him to sit at his desk.

"Not really…" he replied looking down.

"Okay," I replied looking around. "First thing first, do you have the required materials?"

"Yeah," he said getting up from his bed walking over to his desk. He pulls a pile of papers, some are folded, some up crinkled up, I think I see a grease stain on one. He tosses the pile on his bed. "There you are help yourself." I look down at the pile and start to move some papers around. Some are old quizzes, some are notes I'm surprised he attempted to take.

"Are you always this disorganized?" I asked continuing to look through the papers. Stan shrugs. He grabs his desk chair putting it close to the bed.

"The chair is for you," he said about to get on his bed.

"Wait," I reply. "I need your textbook." Stan groans. I can hear him looking around for it. I'm surprised he was nice enough to even grab my seat. I start to separate his papers. The bed moves as Stan climbs on to it tossing his book beside the piles I'm making. I bite my lip trying not to go off on him. I decided to try and lighten the mood. "How was your day?"

"What?" asked Stan.

"I was asking how was your day?" I replied still looking down going through this messy pile of papers. I notice it takes him a minute to respond.

"Shitty, yours?"

"It was good until you stood me up forcing me to come here," I reply.

"You didn't have to come here," states Stan. The way his voice sounded forced me to look up. He looks so vulnerable. I'm not use to seeing Stan like this, I will never get use to him being goth. I can live with it but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

"Look, Stan, I mean Raven," I correct. "I do want you to finish school with us, with your friends. Give me the chance and I can help you." Stan looks at me and I can tell his walls are still up. I mean it, I want Stan to graduate with us even if we don't talk. His eyes seem so dim compared to when we were younger.

"Does it mean that much to you?" asked Stan.

"What?" I asked feeling completely distracted.

"Does it mean that much to you?"

"Yeah," I replied looking away to finish sorting his papers. I'm glad when he stopped talking because it was making me feel weird. I finish sorting the papers and I look through his notes first before going through the quizzes. He is mostly messing up on the formulas which are the bread and butter. I sit down on the chair grabbing his textbook. It's pretty clean looking as if he has never opened it.

I go over the first week's notes and quizzes. Everything is a building block so it's important I start there. Poor Stan is completely lost, it takes me almost two hours but he seems to be coming around. I take my time explaining myself even having to repeat myself a few times. I usually hate to repeat myself but for him, I'm willing to go the extra mile.

"I think I get it," said Stan leaning forward with his hair covering his eyes.

"Great," I smiled. "I'm going to make up a few practice sheets for you."

"You're giving me homework," he droned.

"I never looked at it that way but yes," I reply turning to a blank page to write out some problems for him.

"Stanley," called his mother knocking on the door.

"Yes," he replies.

"I'm coming in," she said opening the door. "I wanted to know would you…" She stops speaking when she sees me. "Kyle!"

"Hi Mrs. Marsh," I wave.

"Kyle, it has been way too long," she grins walking into the room almost providing sunlight to the room. Yes, it is that fucking dim in here.

"About 8 years," I chuckle.

"It's so nice to see you," she beamed. "Is everything okay?" I can feel Stan shift nervously on his bed.

"We're studying," I replied. "Getting ready for college, that sort of thing."

"That is so nice to hear," she replied. "I was worried since it seems like Pete is uninterested in college and my son seemed to be wanting to follow his footsteps."

"Why would he be excited about a bullshit system," said Stan.

"Watch your mouth Stanley," she replies glaring at him. "Kyle, did you want to stay for dinner?"

"I would love to but once I finish this for Stan um Raven, I have to get home."

"You can call him Stan," She chuckles. "I refuse to call him Raven, that name is ridiculous." I stifle a laugh. "I understand if you need to get home. You're welcomed here anytime. Stan, I assume you won't be joining us for dinner since you're finishing up your study session. Dinner will be there when you're ready." Stan nods. His mom looks back at me smiling before leaving out of the room.

"God she is never going to let this go," he groaned laying back on his bed.

"Let what go?" I asked looking at him.

"You being here," he replied. "She always asked me why we stopped hanging out. I could never answer her really. It would just make me mad so she stopped asking." I mean I get that he was depressed over the breakup but he really pushed us all away. It hurt my feelings but he made his choice. I feel my cheeks heat up a bit staring at him. Since Stan is at home he is relaxed in a navy blue shirt that rose up when he laid down. I can see a few his toned abs which shock the hell out of me. Goths don't work out, do they? My eyes travel down to the noticeable bulge in his dark heather gray sweatpants. I blushed looking down at the paper getting refocused. I complete the practice sheet placing it on Stan's desk. I put his chair back at his desk. I look at him and he hasn't moved from his spot on the bed.

"I'll see you on Monday," I say grabbing my bag. Stan says nothing letting me know he has gone back into his cave. He even has this far off look in his eyes. I leave the room saying goodbye to his family before heading out. It's kind of weird but I think they missed me, in a weird way I kind of missed them too, all of them, even Shelly. I get home and Ike is waiting for me, I had a feeling he would be.

"You ruined my evening," he snarls in the hallway as he stands by my room door with his fist balled up.

"Ike," I sigh. "I don't have time for this okay. I'm trying to help Raven pass. Don't you want him to finish school?"

"I don't care," he replies. "At least if he repeated 12th grade we would be in school together. He would be with me and Firkle."

"Do you realize how stupid you sound?" I ask opening my room door. I head inside and Ike follows me.

"I'm not stupid," he replied. "Firkle and I could use someone on our side when we get to high school. You have any idea how hard it is to find goths here in South Park. I mean everyone is fucking emo, vampire or conformist. We could also help Stan to be more successful the 2nd time around."

"You and Firkle have each other," I replied sitting my bag on my desk. "You won't be able to help Raven that much. Senior work is completely different from freshmen."

"I know but it's not the same," he replied. "Firkle is my friend but so are the others. God, why did I have to be born behind everyone? I don't care if I'm a freshman I can still be of great help to Raven." I stop trying to understand what he means. He leaves my room and I feel much better like I can breathe again. Goth Ike is more annoying than when he acted normal. At least when he was normal he kept to himself and wasn't snapping at everyone. I decide since tomorrow is Saturday I will prep Stan's sessions. If he continues to understand these things I can get him caught up in 2 months. I turn on the TV deciding to relax for the evening.


	4. Chapter 4

KYLE

I'm sitting in the truck riding with Kenny to school. He had a pretty good weekend so he is an excellent mood today. He decides to use this time to ask about Stan.

"How is tutoring going?"

"We are only two weeks in," I replied. "I mean he is doing okay but it's like he didn't pay attention to a damn thing in class."

"I can't fault him for that," said Kenny. "Class is rather boring, especially math."

"Personal opinion," I reply. I love math, math makes sense. Kenny pulls into the student parking lot parking his truck. I get out heading towards my locker while Kenny was wondering off to hook up with some girl I'm sure. I get to my locker loading my bag with the textbook I know I would need for my next class. Instead of heading to the lunch room I get curious and walk to the back of the school. I know who should be there. I peak around the corner and I can hear the Goth kids talking.

"I should really skip today," droned Pete.

"You know you aren't going to do it," chuckled Henrietta. "Why even mention it."

"I can do it whenever I feel like it," snorted Pete. "Raven, you want to ditch today?"

"Naw," he said. "Maybe next time."

"I swear that whole tutoring thing has you being such a downer," stated Pete.

"You're not the one failing and will have to hear my mom's shit," snapped Stan. "So you can sit there and talk shit all you want to."

"Whoa, calm down," says Pete actually sounding concerned.

"Whatever…." snapped Stan. I can hear footsteps and I make my way back into the school running into the hall to blend in with my peers. It's kind of weird but I feel like Stan doesn't fit in with the goths either. I feel bad to know he is so unhappy. I at least thought he was happy with his new friends but I also never really checked in on him to see if that was the case. They need to be supporting him. Encouraging him to skip at this point is suicide. I think I need to do something to encourage him.

The remainder of the school day was uneventful. I find myself looking for Stan without even trying. It's weird because I got so use to ignoring him. I gather my books going to my locker one last time before heading to the library. Wendy is already there getting set up.

"How was your day?" she smiles.

"It was okay," I replied sitting my bag down.

"Doesn't sound like it," she replies walking over to me. "What's going on?"

"What do you do when you need to encourage your students?" I ask. Wendy looks like she is thinking for a moment.

"Well, it depends on the student," she replies. "I usually have some type of reward for them. The key is making sure it is something they care about. Younger kids are easy compared to our peers. Like I had someone wanting me to get them an iPad, yeah right." I laugh lightly.

"Good point," I reply. "I guess I will get it figured out."

"Is this for Stan?" she asked.

"Maybe," I replied. "I overheard his friends and they don't sound very supportive."

"That is not surprising," said Wendy folding her arms. "He is the one who decided to be friends with those people."

"I know but it doesn't make it right," I reply.

"Hm, you almost sound like you are taking this personal," stated Wendy.

"I'm not," I reply defending myself. "I promised Kenny I would make sure he passes and part of me wants to see him past. I'm hoping I can do that, I mean it is only January but I feel like we don't have a lot of time. I saw his mom last week and she was so happy to me, his dad too, even Shelly. They invited me to stay for dinner and everything."

"You were over there all the time before you know….." said Wendy not wanting to bring up their breakup.

"He never told them why we stopped talking," I explained. "They don't have a clue."

"Well try not to get too emotionally involved," said Wendy looking at the door as one of her students arrives. "That is how mistakes happen, it can complicate things." Wendy greets her student telling them to pull out their materials. She turns back to me. "Find something that he likes. That may give him the push he needs." Where do the hell I start with that? I don't know anything about Stan's interest now.

I watch as Stan walks into the library. He looks cute in his dark grey skinny jeans and black long sleeve tee. The tee has holes all in it and not the fashion kind either. He has a black hoodie on over top of it. He brushes his hair off his forehead as he makes his way over to me. He looks at me and I break the eye contact to keep from blushing. Stan slams his backpack on the table.

"Thanks to this bullshit I have to actually lug this thing around," he complains.

"You could invest in something nicer," I suggest.

"I don't need a man bag," he replies sitting down at the table. I sit down across from him ignoring his attitude.

"Thanks for showing up today," I reply pulling out my folder of paperwork. Stan just looks at me and frowns. "Trust me I don't want you to be here if you don't want to be either."

"Whatever….." he mutters opening his own bag sitting his stuff out.

"What did you guys go over in class today?" I asked. Stan couldn't even explain to me what they went over let alone understand it since he is so far behind. I go over week 3 material with Stan and give him some practice problems. I notice he is shaking a little bit. "Are you okay?"

"It's just cold in here," he replies. I am surprised he is cold given all the layers he is wearing.

"I can get you some coffee," I offer remembering the goths like coffee. "It can help warm you up."

"The school doesn't serve coffee to students," he replies.

"I know," I replied with an idea hitting me. "We could go to Starbucks and finish up our session there."

"Starbucks is hell but they do make damn good coffee," stated Stan looking a bit better. "You're buying."

"Done," I said standing up glad that he agreed. "Grab your stuff. We're going to have to walk."

"No we don't," scoffs Stan. "I have a car."

"You have a car!" I exclaim.

"Yeah it's my dads but whatever," he shrugs. As we pack up I can see Wendy giving me a look, more of 'what the hell are you doing' look. I give her a look back telling her to calm her ass down. We are going to study at Starbucks, drink coffee, it's nothing serious. I follow Stan to his car quickly not saying anything. During the drive, I look out the window wondering if I'm doing the right thing. Once we arrive I make it clear to him this is a onetime thing. He doesn't seem to care once he has that coffee in his hand. Seeing him take a sip I swear he almost smiled.

We're sitting on one of the sofas with a small coffee table in front of us. I explain to Stan what his teacher was trying to teach and let him know to fully understand it he needs to grasp the previous material quickly. He groans in response I think because of the pressure this is putting on him. He should have never allowed himself to get this far behind. At the same time, he doesn't come across as the type that will ask for help.

We study for a good hour before I know he has had enough. He is struggling to keep up and pay attention, that is a clear sign of when a break is needed. In this case, I decided to just end the session here. I instruct him to drop me off home. During the ride, I decide to do something I never thought I would do, ask Ike for some suggestions regarding Stan. He knows Stan much better than I do at this point.

"You're rather quiet," stated Stan. I'm surprised he noticed let alone cares.

"I have a lot on my mind," I reply slowly.

"Like what?" snorted Stan. "It's not like you have anything to worry about."

"How would you know," I reply agitated.

"Spare me," said Stan. "You're passing with flying colors. I'm sure you got into a good college with a full scholarship." I got a half scholarship which I was disappointed in but it's better than nothing.

"I busted my ass!" I exclaimed. "You could have had the same opportunities if you worked just as hard." I can tell Stan is mad but I don't regret telling him the truth. He is making it hard for me to want to help him. I stare at him as he gets closer to my home. I then wonder if this is his way to push me away. I won't let him this time, his future is on the line. I can't forgive myself if I don't try hard to get him to graduate. God, he is acting like a damn child with divorced parents. Stan stops in front of the house. "Thanks," I get out of the car and he takes off down the street soon as I close the door.

I sigh as I start towards the front door. I unlock the door heading inside and I'm relieved to see mom in the kitchen cooking. I went to go see what is on the menu today. I walk into the kitchen heading to the fridge to grab me a bottle of water.

"Kyle, you're back later than usual," stated mom checking the oven. The air is filled with the scent of chicken and one of mom's signature flavors, oh yeah dinner is going to be good.

"Yeah I went to study at Starbucks," I explained. "I needed a change of scenery."

"Should scenery even matter when you are studying?" asked mom.

"To some people it does," I reply. "Besides it is more of a college atmosphere."

"Um hm….." hummed mom.

"Is Ike here?" I asked.

"He is," she replied. "I have got to get him to come home more often in the afternoon. I know as kids you're suppose to have friends but they should never replace your family."

"Don't worry mom he will come around," I say to encourage her. I feel so bad that Ike does stay away from home so much but it's what he wants to do. It's not like we have much going on around here anyway. I head upstairs dropping my stuff off in my room before knocking on his door. I can hear Ike moving around inside.

"What," he demands from the other side of the door.

"It's your brother, I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"It's about Raven," I see the door swing open quickly.

"What about Raven?" asked Ike not allowing me into his dark layer.

"I need to know what kind of things he is in to," I explained. "I'm trying to think of something to reward his learning efforts." Ike folds his arms.

"I'll take care of his rewards," said Ike.

"Um okay," I reply. "I don't know when he will earn the reward."

"Doesn't matter," stated Ike matter of factly. "You just tutor him, I got everything else, got it." Before I could answer he slams the door in my face. Well, that did not go as planned. I would still like to do something for Stan on my own so I guess it will be up to me to figure out what his current interest is.


	5. Chapter 5

STAN

It's Friday and I'm glad. No tutoring at all on the weekends. Each passing day I want to skip even more. I don't see how people can seriously have perfect attendance without ripping their hair out. I'm outside having a cigarette before going to today's session. Ike and Frinkle were nice enough to show up to the school. Okay, they basically skipped their last class but who cares.

"What should we do tonight?" asked Henrietta nursing her cigarette.

"Not sure," replied Pete. "Shame of Darkness is not until next month."

"I do need to work on material," I replied.

"Whatever for?" questioned Frikle. "You have plenty of work to choose from." He has a point but I want to create something new for the show.

"I'm really trying to think of something that hardcore….." I explained. I take a puff of my cigarette.

"Your stuff is usually pretty hardcore," stated Pete. "You're worrying about nothing." Perhaps I'm worrying about this too much. I mostly write to vent and nothing more, although it is nice to be recognized once in a while. I'm highly considering making writing my profession but I have no idea how to go about it.

"It's time," said Frikle.

"Why did you have to remind him," said Ike. "He can be late, Kyle will wait for him anyway." He is right about that. Kyle is taking this tutoring thing really seriously. It was cool how we studied at the coffee shop but then he just had to bring up how stressed he is, that is total bullshit. He's got it made as far as I'm concerned.

"Let me go so I can get this over with," I stated.

"Can I walk with you?" asked Ike. I shrug. I'm sure he should not be inside the school while he doesn't attend the school but who is going to stop him. We both walk inside and I'm walking pretty slow in no hurry. I see Ike looking around. "So this is the place I will be condemned to for the next 4 years."

"Yup….." I sigh. "Just keep your head down and you should be fine. Try and not fail any classes, I would hate to see you end up like me."

"I can't even if I wanted to," stated Ike. "Did you forget who my mom is."

"Good point," I sigh.

"Your library is far," he stated.

"Yup, all the way at the back," I replied. Middle school the library is at the front. I like the layout much better than high school. I don't know why but the design to me is so awkward. We walk in silence until I get to the familiar doors. "You know how to get out?"

"I could take that exit right there," said Ike tilting his head towards the emergency exit. "Or I could go back the way I came."

"It's up to you," I reply. "I'll talk to you later."

"Sure," said Ike smirking at me. I disappear into the library. I see Kyle sitting at our usual table except I notice he has a cup of coffee there. I sit my bag down in the empty chair next to where I will sit. He is leaned overwriting something and seems really into whatever it is he is doing. He looks up when I put my textbook on the table with a thud.

"I have things to do this afternoon so let's get to it," I state.

"Alright," said Kyle. "I brought you a coffee." I look at him surprised. "Yeah, I bought this for you because I know you do get cold in here despite the constant layers you wear." I just stare at the cup. "Do you not want it?"

"No, no, I do," I reply grabbing it. Kyle gives a tiny smile.

"Before we get started I wanted you to know that I looked into some last minute scholarships for you," I almost choke on my warm coffee.

"What!" I exclaim. I remember we are in the library and I lower my voice. "What do you mean?"

"You still have a chance at getting a full scholarship," Kyle explains. "Despite your average grades. You must bring this math grade up, here." Kyle hands me a sheet of paper with 5 names on them. "Those are the scholarships I think best suit you. With your writing skills applying should not be a problem." I can't believe he went through all of this for me.

"Um, thanks…" I mutter.

"Yeah," said Kyle. "Let's get started since you have things to do tonight." I found it hard to focus on the session but I made it through. I can't help but wonder why Kyle is being so nice to me when I'm so nasty to him. I manage to understand the material by the end of the session and Kyle smiles seeming satisfied with today's session. "You did well today. Don't worry about how fast you learn this. In your case, we need to ensure you understand everything before moving forward. Don't want to delay you any further. So far you are on good track for midterms." I feel so proud. I have only been at it a few weeks and I haven't even been trying hard to be honest. I was half-assing it at most.

"I'll see you next week," I say standing up. I put my books in my backpack and proceed to leave quickly. I get outside and realize I'm breathing hard, my heart is beating fast. I know it's not the coffee, what is this? I feel my face become hot. I shake it off as I continue walking to my car. I notice Kenny in the parking lot, he sees me staring intensely. I ignore him as I continue to walk towards my car. I get into the car taking off towards home. I can still feel my heart beating hard in my chest.

I get home in record time and grateful I didn't get pulled over. Dad would kill me if I got a ticket. I head into my room closing the door locking it. I drop my bag as I look down at the tint in my jeans. Am I hard? I rarely get aroused. It's been a while that I forgot what it feels like. I look down at my dick still trapped in my jeans.

"Go away!" I shout angrily. I don't like feeling this, it's too much. I pull my shirt over my head flinging it across the room pissed off. I slide off my sneakers and my jeans quickly. I look down and my dick is still at attention and hanging out of the slit of my boxers. I grit my teeth as I look at it sitting on my bed in defeat. "Please go away." I think about the smile Kyle gave me when he said I was doing a good job. The way his green eyes peaked through his hair. Before I realize it my hand is grabbing my dick. I moan lowly from the contact.

"Mmmpphhh….."I moan. This can't be happening. I move my hand up and down slowly. When I say I don't do this I really don't. I haven't masturbated in years. "Hahh….ha….." My hand is having to re-explore and learn what I like. I like when the movement is tight a little bit faster. I continue to move my hand at that pace panting hard as my vision begins to blur a little.

"Ahhhh…..shit….mmmm…." I moan hitting a really good spot. I fall back onto my mattress turning over my side. I want this to go away, I want to stop but it feels good. I open my eyes as my hand continues to move. My mind wonders back to Kyle. No, I can't like Kyle. We are not friends. I moan as I remember what he was wearing today. He was wearing a tee shirt despite it being cold but he also wears a jacket and coat when he goes outside. I can tell he has a very slim but muscular frame. "Hahh….."

My mind starts to take things further as I manage to think of what his lewd face would look like. I can clearly picture Kyle beating his own dick. I don't know why but the vision of him doing that turns me on more than imagining sex with him at this point. Since I have yet to have sex it makes it easier to see him this way. "Uuggghhh…..god…..haaahhh….." I imaged Kyle tossing his head back in pleasure. His hair flying all over his head and he gives zero shits about it as he feels good as he touches himself. "Arrgghhh…"I moan getting closer to my peak. I'm not surprised that I'm quick since I never jack off. Has Kyle even had sex? I feel this heat building as my eyes begin to flutter. "Ohhhh…..ahhhh….." I push myself to think of his face and what his skin would feel like against mine. Me running fingers along his skin, holding him in my arms, close to my body.

"Ahhhhh…..fuck…..ha…..ha….." I moan picturing myself taking Kyle's dick into my mouth. "Kyle….haahhh…..haa….." He pushes my mouth further on his dick as he begins to moan uncontrollably. Those last words Kyle says to me while he begins to grip hair is how he is going to cum. My body begins to shake and my eyes water up just a little. "Oh god…I'm cumming….I'm cumming…..hahhh…..aaarrrgghhh…." I then imagine him saying he cares about me, he loves me while rubbing my head as a reward for not dropping a single morsel of his cum. I moan loudly as I'm still to releasing in my hand. I'm breathing hard as I continue to lay there. I can't like Kyle, I just can't.


	6. Chapter 6

STAN

A few months have passed and my math marks are going up. I'm only what…half behind now. I have to give it to Kyle is really good at teaching. Even better than my actual teacher if you ask me. We have been meeting in the library instead of my room. Mom keeps asking when he is coming back over. I don't want him to come back over especially after I did what I did in my room thinking of him.

Each passing session I'm finding it harder and harder to stay focused on what he is saying. He is so nice to me although we're not really friends. It's wearing me down trying to keep my wall up. I just don't want to be let down again.

I'm glad Valentine day has passed. I hate seeing everyone passing out cards and shit. Since I'm in high school you even have guys getting girls roses. It's not even that serious. I'm glad spring is right around the corner.

"Raven, are you even listening?" asked Ike.

"I am," I replied with my cigarette in my hand.

"I wish like hell this school year was over," said Frikle.

"Tell me about it," said Pete. "I'm so glad to be skipping today. I needed a serious break."

"My parents keep asking what college am I going to," said Henrietta clearly annoyed. "I have to keep telling them I'm not going to college."

"Maybe you should consider it," I replied.

"What?" drones Pete. "You would never say that. Are those tutor sessions brainwashing you."

"No way….." I replied. "I'm actually considering going to college."

"And do what?" asked Pete rolling his eyes. "The whole system is bullshit."

"I totally agree," I drone. "If I'm going to get stuck dealing with this shit I want to at least do something I care about. Thinking about going to school for writing."

"You can go to college for writing?" asked Frikle. "Sounds stupid to me."

"A lot of things in this word is stupid but we deal with it anyway," I replied. We are in Henrietta room since it's our comfort zone. Michael is actually working this morning which he was bitching about. He said the worst customers coming in during the week during the day. I can only imagine since most people tend to work at dead-end jobs they hate taking it out on everyone else around them. "God I could use a drink."

"Wish we could," said Ike. "I don't want a repeat of last time."

"None of us want that," droned Pete. Henrietta dad lost his shit when he found out we raided his liquor cabinet. Funny, she can steal the car and go on joyrides whenever she wants, curse them out but raid the liquor cabinet it's the end of the world. We spend the rest of the day talking shit and just relaxing. Before I knew it was almost 7 pm.

"Shit….." I groaned getting up. "I missed my session today."

"You're doing good though," stated Henrietta. "Missing a day won't kill you." Maybe…..I didn't want to miss my session today but I'm not going to tell them that.

"I'm out," I said standing up. Henrietta mom opens the door.

"Hi sweetie," she smiled. "Are your friends staying for dinner?"

"Get out of my room mom," she yelled. "You didn't even fucking knock."

"I didn't, did I," she said thoughtfully. "We are having lamb for dinner if you all want to stay."

"That does sound good," said Pete. Henrietta gives him a look. "What? My parents are working and my cooking is total shit." I wave walking out the door knowing a discussion is about to happen that has nothing to do with me. I get home and it almost 8, I hope mom isn't to upset. I walk in the door and I'm surprised to see Kyle sitting in the living room with my parents.

"What do you think Kyle?" asked dad. "I was thinking about if I should invest money into this game you know."

"Randy," said mom. "I already told you no."

"I could easily get up to another level," whined dad. "Come on Kyle, tell her." Mom sees me and looks happy.

"Stan Kyle has been waiting here for you for 4 hours," she explains. "Did you forget you two were studying this afternoon?" I have no idea what to say.

"Uh….." I said. "I got distracted and lost track of time." I can see Kyle staring at me. He stands up grabbing his bag.

"I'm going to have a late quick session with Raven and then head home. Thanks for dinner."

"You guys ate already?" I questioned.

"Yeah bud," said Randy. "Good grub too. We managed to save you a plate."

"Awesome, thanks," I said making my way to the stairs. Kyle follows me upstairs with his bag in tow. Once inside my room, Kyle starts to lay into me, no not in that way.

"Dude what the fuck!" he exclaimed. "I waited for 4 hours. Where the hell were you?"

"I lost track of time," I replied. "I wasn't lying."

"How could you lose track of time when you weren't even in fucking school today," he replied. I'm sure I look like a deer caught in headlights.

"I can't believe you would even notice…" I muttered.

"Of course I noticed!" he exclaimed. "I know you know you're doing well but that doesn't mean you can start blowing off classes. We still have 6 weeks worth of materials to go over." Kyle puts his hand over his face making me feel like shit.

"I'm sorry….." I apologize before I realize it.

"What was that?" he asked in shock.

"I said I'm sorry," I repeated.

"I don't think you have ever apologized to me," he says dropping his hand. I'm looking at him and I start to feel nervous. I blink looking away and clearing my throat.

"So what do we need to go over today?" I asked sitting on my bed. Kyle is going to my desk to grab the papers he organized. Lucky for him I never touch that desk.

"Alright," said Kyle studying the paper. "We are up to week 5. We are a little behind because you struggled with week 3 and 4. That is okay, you're doing good dude. Let's do a review before diving in." Kyle drags the chair over to my bed sitting down. He digs into his bag pulling out a folder. I couldn't help but notice that folder had my name on it.

"I get my own folder," I reply.

"All my clients do," replied Kyle. "It helps me a lot. I like to tailor the sessions to your learning abilities." That makes perfect sense. Leave it to Kyle to do that, we can't even get the teachers in school to teach right. Kyle hands me a review sheet.

"I need a pencil and paper," I said comfortable on my bed and not willing to move. Kyle hands me my textbook and a pencil. I drop the pencil reaching for it and our hands brush. Kyle pulls back as if he has been burned. "Did I hurt you?" Kyle's face starts to redden.

"Focus on your review," he stated. "I know it's Friday and all but I should be getting home, my curfew is at 10 pm."

"You have a curfew?"

"Yeah my mom is still kind of strict," I wonder how much trouble does Ike get into. He is always hanging out with us super late. "In case you are wondering yes Ike does get in trouble."

"How did you know what I was thinking?" Kyle smiles.

"You kind of had that look on your face," he explains.

"What look?"

"The look you have now," he chuckles clearly amused. "You have a look when you have a question on your mind. Depending on the topic it is easy to figure out what your question is regarding."

"So you are saying I'm open book?" I asked laughing a little. Kyle laughs.

"I wouldn't say that," he said. "Um focus on your worksheet. Time is wasting." I look at my work and think about his laugh and smile, it was pretty cute. He is right I'm too distracted. I sigh as I begin to focus on my math problems. I finish the sheet in 20 minutes handing it to Kyle to look over. I climb off of my bed wanting to get out of my street clothes. I walk over to my draw pulling out sweats and tee. I pull my shirt over my head sliding on one that looks the same but it's not. I look back nervously at Kyle and he is pretty busy at the moment. I mean he has seen me naked when were kids so I don't think this will be a big deal. I take off my jeans reaching for my sweatpants. "Jesus, what are you doing!"

"I'm getting into some more comfortable clothing," I scoff counting with sliding on my sweats.

"There is someone else in the room," he replies.

"Kyle, you make it sound like I was naked," I said turning around almost embarrassed by his reaction. He is looking down at my spreadsheet now. I walk over and get back on my bed. He isn't talking to me but that is to be expected as he is grading the spreadsheet but it feels weird. I have gotten use to him talking to me even if I don't say anything back. He sighs.

"You still need to work on week 3 and 4 materials. You are really struggling there. You are going to need to know that solidly before we progress to week 5." He is still looking down. "Let me get you some practice sheets so we can go over this in more depth."

"Ugh…" I groan. I just really want this to be over with. I scoot closer to the edge of the bed towards Kyle. He scoots back and this doesn't go unnoticed. I reach for his shoulder and he moves.

"Don't touch me…" he says.

"Um okay….." I reply slowly because I feel like he is being ridiculous. Granted I'm usually not super touchy so I don't understand why he is acting like that. I watch as he writes down the problems and stares at him closely. Wait, is he blushing? What the hell is going on? "Kyle if you are sick or whatever you can leave. Don't stay on my account. You have been here long enough anyways waiting for me."

"I'm fine," he replied.

"You won't even look at me," I replied hiding my sadness. "If anything I should be the one giving attitude, it's who I am."

"It's not," replied Kyle. He looks up finally making eye contact with me. "That is what I never got. I know you were hurting over your break up with Wendy back then but I didn't think you should have shut down the way you did."

"It hurt dude….." I replied looking down. "This was the only way I knew how to handle it. I thought you guys would understand, still be my friends but you guys stopped talking to me."

"You weren't the same Stan I mean Raven," Kyle sighs. "Like I can't even call you Stan because you get upset. It's like you don't want to remember who you are as if that is a bad thing. I mean at least you said, dude."

"Did I?" I ask.

"Yeah," he replied. He started writing again. I didn't even realize it. It felt natural. I try to think of what to say next. I'm feeling a lot at this moment, my mind feels jumbled. I can feel tears on my cheeks and I wipe them away mad at the fact that I'm even crying. Shit times like this I miss being able to talk to Kyle, Kenny hell even Cartman. My friends are great but they're not the type of people you can tell your actual feelings too, maybe Ike. He may be goth but he seems more like me where you can be either way. Fuck. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said sliding off the bed. "I will be right back." I grab my phone off the nightstand walking out of the door. I head into the bathroom texting, Ike.

Stan: Ike you there

Ike: I'm always here, what's up

Stan: I don't know man. I feel really weird.

Ike: You always feel weird. How is this any different?

Stan: It just is. Kyle doesn't want me touching him not that I do anyways and now he won't even look at me. It bothers me.

Ike: Who cares, he is just a tool to get you to pass the class and finish school. Besides Kyle does that to people he can't stand.

Stan: What?

Ike: Yeah, you don't know my bro like I do. He hates you. He is only doing this because Kenny begged him to

I look up from my phone more hurt than when I came here. Kyle lied to me, just like Wendy did. He really doesn't care about me. I'm so pissed off because I trusted him. He doesn't know that but still. Bringing me fucking coffee, joking with me, it was all lies. I leave out the bathroom heading back into my room. I slam the door close without meaning too.

"Jesus…" said Kyle looking my way. "What the hell?"

"Um, can you leave the materials I need to work on and we can go over it on Monday?" I ask.

"I can but we need to talk through a few things,"

"Can we do it later," I reply trying not to yell at him.

"You were fine just a minute ago," states Kyle looking worried. "Did me bringing up Wendy bring up bad memories? That was not my intention."

"Something like that….." I say looking away from him. I can hear Kyle grabbing his stuff. He walks up to me.

"Get your mind right," he states. "You need to get this right. Finals are in 2 and a half months."

"Whatever…." I muttered refusing to look at this faker. Kyle heads out and I finally look at the door. God this is why I don't fucking trust anyone. I walk over to my bed looking at the paperwork on the bed. I knock everything on the floor. He doesn't care about me, he never did. I'm just some bump in the road to him. I cut my TV on shutting off all my lights and curling into my bed.


	7. Chapter 7

KYLE

"I don't know what to do," I vent to Wendy. "Everything was going so well and it's like he snapped or something." Wendy and I are in Mr. Anderson prepping worksheets and study materials for our tutor sessions.

"I thought Stan was your star student," she stated pulling a page out of the workbook she purchased.

"He was," I replied. "Like I guess I got too personal with him."

"What do you mean by personal?" asked Wendy raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't mean to," I muttered feeling stupid. "I kind of brought up your break up." Wendy looks at me completely stops flipping through the workbook.

"Why would you do that?" she asked. "God I hate how everyone blames me for him turning emo."

"Goth," I correct.

"What the fuck ever," she hissed. "Why the hell were you guys bringing that up?"

"I didn't mean to," I defend. "He was like flipping out and it came just up. The whole thing was weird. He left the room came back and kicked me out. He is doing enough to pass his class with a D at this point. I know he can do better because he was doing better. I don't understand what changed."

"There is no telling," sighed Wendy. "I'm going to warn you not to get in any deeper with this. I mean just help Stan pass and move on. I feel like he is such a lost cause."

"Don't say that," I reply feeling hurt. Stan isn't a lost cause, he needs help….. "We were getting somewhere. He let me call him Stan and he also called me dude."

"What?"

"He called me dude, that was our thing…" I reply trying not to blush.

"I do recall that now," said Wendy. "Hmmm maybe I'm wrong, maybe you were getting somewhere." I know I was. I look up to see Kenny in the doorway. "Looks like your ride is here. Hey Kenny."

"Wendy, how's it going," said Kenny walking further into the room.

"It's getting easier," she replied. "I have invested in learning books, active books, stuff like that. I'm tearing out my favs and I plan to make copies." Kenny picks up one of the sheets.

"A coloring sheet?" he questions.

"Works well for some people," she snatched the paper. "Maybe people like you."

"I will gladly admit coloring sheets are my best friend," he smiled. "Kyle, you ready man?" I have already begun to pack up.

"Yeah just a minute," I reply. I finish gathering my items. I say my goodbyes to Wendy and follow Kenny to his pick up truck. We get inside and Kenny takes off towards home or so I thought.

"I'm stopping to get a burger at Denny's, is that cool?" he asks.

"You're driving so you can do what you want," I reply.

"Don't worry, I will cover you if you want anything," he said. Kenny stares at the road for a bit. "So um I couldn't help but overhear you and Wendy talking about Stan." I'm not surprised Kenny heard. He always tends to find out weird shit no one else knows.

"I don't need to repeat anything since you heard it all," I reply. "I'm not saying anything bad about Stan but I felt like we were getting somewhere."

"Oh," said Kenny. "You were totally holding back when talking to Wendy. She doesn't know you well enough to know that. What lead up to this whole you bringing up her break up." I look out the window.

"I kind of snapped at him," I go quiet remembering the incident. I didn't mean to snap at him but I was aroused by seeing his somewhat naked body. I mean I have seen beautiful men bodies in porn but I have never seen anyone like that in person. In the gym, I always kept my head down. Being gay the last thing I needed was someone thinking I'm hitting on them. Stan is so handsome. I mean not really seeing him but only in passing it can do that to you. He is really buff and sexy and…

"I'm waiting….." said Kenny. I feel my face get hot. How do I explain this?

"I told him not to touch me," I replied. "Then we started talking about how Wendy's break up affected him and everything. He was fine."

"Wait, you told him not to touch you?" asked Kenny. "How was he touching you?"

"I mean it was just on the shoulder but.."

"You got bent out of shape over a shoulder tap?" exclaims Kenny. "Come on now…"

"You don't understand," I replied feeling embarrassed. "I kind of saw him naked."

"What the hell?"

"Okay not really, he was changing clothes. I mean…" I becoming flustered again, goddamnit.

"Whoa, you were turned on, weren't you?" asked Kenny.

"No," I lie. "I mean yeah…I have never wanted to jump anyone so badly in my life but I know it is just lust. It was hard enough proceeding with the study session but at that moment I couldn't handle him touching me. He was fine with it he became upset with us talking about the past I think. He fled the room coming back kicking me out. Ever since then he has been super cold and distant."

"Weird…..." says Kenny. "I wonder what changed?"

"That's what I'm saying," I vented. "Like ugh, whatever." Kenny is quiet the rest of the way to Denny's seeming to go into his own thoughts. We walk inside and I see Stan with his little crew sitting in their usual corner. I'm surprised to see Michael with them. Since he graduated, I don't see him around as much. Stan looks up and sees me. I feel my body getting hot just from the eye contact. I look away following Kenny to the table we are seated at.

"Didn't know they would be here," said Kenny. "This is superrrrr awkward."

"There is nothing awkward about it," I said. We pick up the menus off the table. Kenny orders a burger just like how he wanted. Since this is going to be dinner I opted for the baked chicken with mash potatoes and veggies. I can't help but glance at their table and they all look gloomy as ever especially Stan. I wish I never brought up Wendy. It seems like everything went downhill after that. Halfway through the meal, I head to the bathroom and of course, Stan is in there. We see each other but don't say anything. Back at the table, my mom texts me wanting to know where Ike is. I tell her he is at Denny's and she is demanding I bring him home. Now I have to go over there.

"Ike, mom wants you home now," I explain standing in front of their table. "You can ride with me and Kenny. Come on let's go."

"I'm not done yet," he said.

"You're sitting here drinking coffee," I replied. "We got that shit at home."

"This is totally different," said Michael.

"Totally," said Pete. "Not that I would expect him to get it." He flips his hair out of his eye just for it to fall back in place.

"Ike, please don't make me call her," I drone.

"And here he goes with the threats," said Stan.

"I'm not threatening him," I defend. "I'm trying to stop my mom from getting involved and trust me none of you want to see that. Let's go, Ike!" Ike slides out of the booth.

"Raven, we're still doing the Shadow of Darkness poetry reading right?"

"Yeah," replied Stan.

"We will be there as well," said Henrietta. "I hope Mark Shadows comes back this year."

"His shit is hardcore," agreed Michael.

"Great," I replied. "Plans are still good. Let's go, Ike, you can text your little friends later." We head out of the diner directly to Kenny's truck.

"I don't want to sit in the middle," stated Ike. "I don't want that stick in the way." I climb in to sit in the middle. I kind of want to know more about this Shadow of Darkness thing they were talking about.

"Alright everyone buckled in," said Kenny.

"Yeah," I reply trying to get comfortable. Kenny takes off towards our house.

"So um what is this Shadow of Darkness?" I ask. Ike rolls his eyes.

"You wouldn't understand," he replies. "I have been going to this for the past 2 years and you're just now noticing."

"It's not like you invited me," I replied. "What is it?"

"It's a poetry reading and other shit you wouldn't understand," said Ike dismissively.

"Maybe I could, you never know. I was thinking I could come." Ike laughs.

"Hell no," he replied. "I don't want you there."

"What if I want to go to see how this thing is for myself," I reply.

"I'm not letting you go and freak out Raven," stated Ike.

"What is that suppose to mean?" asked Kenny jumping into the conversation.

"Not that it is any of your business," snapped Ike. "You hurt Raven bringing up Wendy. What the fuck were you thinking? He hates you, by the way, I just thought you should know that." I feel my heart drop, I didn't want Stan to hate me. I know we didn't talk for years but he at least didn't hate me. We pull up in front of the house and Ike bolts from the pickup truck.

"Kyle, hang back a minute," said Kenny.

"Only a minute," I reply. "I don't want my mom to start freaking out."

"She will be fine," says Kenny. "Her main concern just went in the house."

"Get to the point Kenny," I drone.

"I was just saying I think you should go to that poetry reading if you want to" he suggests. "Don't let Stan hating you freak you out so much. It's Stan, he never hates anybody."

"He hates Wendy and Token," I point out.

"Yeah they betrayed him," said Kenny rolling his eyes. "He doesn't have a good reason to hate you. I mean I can't see him hating you over bringing up Wendy."

"You weren't there…" I sigh. "You didn't see the look on his face. I think he was hurting more than we thought. I just wanted him to get over it but not like this."

"Doesn't matter man," says Kenny leaning back in his seat. "It's in the past but seriously. You should go to that poetry thingy." I weigh Kenny's words getting out of the car. I head into the house informing mom I already had dinner. She didn't mind at all and seem pleased with the fact I got Ike to come home. He is always with his friends and never at the house. As of late it has been getting worse almost forcing mom to wanted to tighten the leash she already has on us. I think she misses him too, he is her baby boy after all.

I head up to my room starting up my computer. I have a lot of work to do. I need to look up this poetry thing and figure out where it is. I will be there rather they want me to or not.


	8. Chapter 8

STAN

"Come down Stan," said Henrietta. I'm pacing back and forth I feel so nervous. I almost feel like I want vomit. "Everything is going to be fine."

"Yeah," said Firkle. "You always do good when you get up there. We always feel your pain."

"Ditto….." said Pete nursing a cigarette. They actually allow us to smoke inside the building although it is against the law. It's not like anyone is going to stop us. Most of the goths here actually smoke. It would be hard for any of us to truly be who we are without it. "Michael is on his way. He should be here by the time you hit the stage." I nod.

"Don't worry," said Ike placing a hand on my shoulder. "You have killer material." No shit. This past couple of weeks have been rough and I have poured my soul onto paper. It's been a month since our run in at the Denny's but the tension between Kyle and I is so thick. He hates me and I can tell. We both avoid talking as much as possible during tutoring. We definitely make sure to not touch or be too close.

My friends and I take our seats in the middle of a roundtable. The set up of this place looks like a comedy club except dark. There are a lot of candles everywhere and it's the only thing lighting up the room, I kind of like it. Makes me feel a little comfortable. We listen to the others going up on the stage. My friends aren't talking much as we are focused on the stage ahead. It is finally my turn and I'm so nervous I am actually shaking. I decide to read only one of my poems. I head up to the stage.

"Evening, my name is Raven and my poem is called Despair." I can see I have everyone's attention. I know the poem by heart, this allows me to close my eyes and speak from the heart. "The effects of the world around me is nothing but despair. Every second, every minute, every hour. From the air, I breathe to the way I sleep. Despair, despair, despair. People, family friends, all contribute to despair. Can't be helped when the whole is nothing but despair." I continue reciting my poem, before I know it I'm at the end. I open my eyes looking at the crowd. I see nods of approval and a few lighters up in the air. We don't do that clapping shit in here. I scan the room one final time before walking off the stage. I walk back to my spot at the table.

"Was short but very dark," said Henrietta. "I love how you tell it like it is. I have some liquor in my bag, top off anyone?"

"Hell yes…." said Michael. I nurse my current cup before having Henrietta top me off. She started going all crazy once Mr. Shadows took the stage. To me he is okay but his work isn't all that. On that note, I'm going to go pee. I head into the bathroom that is dimly lit. I head to the urinal instead of the stall. They only have two stalls anyone.

"God they could at least have decent lighting in the bathroom," I know that voice.

"Kyle…." I say slowly. I'm not sure if it is really him or not. I hear the toilet flush. Sure enough Kyle comes out of the stall in a long sleeve black tee and black jeans. Had he not spoken I wouldn't have known it was him as he also has on a black beanie that is covering his hair. His green eyes are glowing like a cat against all that black he is wearing. I must admit he makes a very cute goth. He looks down at the ground before walking over to the sink to wash his hands. "I know you heard me. What are you doing here?"

"Do you really feel that way?" he asked turning around after drying his hands.

"Why do you care?" I asked walking past him to the sink.

"Because I do…." he replies. "I'm here because I wanted to hear your poetry." I finish washing my hands toweling them off.

"All you had to do was ask," I reply.

"How can I do that when you hate me," he stated. What?

"You hate me," I replied appalled.

"Stan I mean Raven I could never hate you," The way he says that I almost believe him. However I remember how he was only being nice to me to help out Kenny. I roll my eyes.

"Whatever…" I muttered. "I'll see you on our next session." I rush out of the bathroom not saying anything else to him. I get back to my friends polishing off my drink. Henrietta gives me more. I'm completely wasted by the time we leave. I can hear Henriette laughing at me.

"God what are we going to do with him?" she asked.

"My parents would freak if I brought him there in this state," said Michael. "Shit I have a hard enough time getting them to trust me for God sake."

"I can take him," said Ike. "He only lives two blocks from me."

"Your mom won't mind?" asked Firkle.

"I doubt it," he said rolling his eyes. "Kyle and Raven use to have sleepovers all the time."

"Ew…sleepovers…..," said Pete. "Come, Henrietta, let him go to Ike's layer, I think he will be okay." I didn't mean to drink so much I'm just so confused right now. We pull up in front of the house and all of the lights are out. Ike seems to know his way around in the dark pretty well. He leads me to his room. I have never been in Ike's room. I haven't been in this house since Kyle and I stopped being friends. Ike understands this which is why I think he never asked me to come over. This is dyer circumstances though. His room has a bit more color than mine decorated with navy blue, black, and dark grey I think. I'm not sure since my vision is blurring a little. I'm so thankful he has a bigger bed. I only remember that little ass bed he had the last time I was here. My feet are going to hang over the edge but so what, it's better than sleeping on the floor. Ike helps me get into bed after stripping me out of my clothes.

I'm so drunk I fell asleep fast. For a change I find myself having a pleasant dream. I'm talking to Kyle although he hates me. It's almost like how it use to be. He is in my room and we're playing video games. It feels good, so genuine. I miss that feeling. I only had that feeling when I was with Kyle, not even Wendy could provide that level of trust Kyle and I had. I'm not saying my friends now are not great but it is just not the same. I don't know how this happened but next thing I know I'm kissing Kyle. It's just a dream but I still don't know how we ended up there. It feels so real I wake up out of my sleep moaning to realize I'm being kissed for real.

"Mmmpphh…"I moan as I open my eyes trying to get them to focus. I'm beginning to see clearly. I place my hands on his shoulders.

"Ahhh…ha…." he moans into my mouth. Wait that doesn't sound like Kyle… My focus clears up to see that I'm kissing Ike.


	9. Chapter 9

KYLE

Maybe this was a stupid idea. I walk outside taking my hat off as I pull out my phone to call Kenny. I had to wear something to fit in with the crowd and it worked until I got busted. It was seriously dark as hell in that bathroom. I have to at least say it was clean at least. Stan's poem really got to me. He feels like he has no one…I mean he has me or he did. Kenny answers on the 5th ring.

"Kyle this better be important," he says breathing hard.

"It is," I replied. "I went to that goth poetry thing and it didn't go so well. Can you come pick me up?"

"Do I have to?" he asked.

"I need to talk this out Kenny," I reply trying not to sound rude. "So you can either come get me or entertain me while I walk home, in the dark, at night."

"It's South Park, nothing is going to happen to you," said Kenny. "I will stay on the phone with you though so tell me what's going on? How was his poetry? I start walking towards the house.

"It is seriously depressing…" I reply. "It's good but depressing. I mean Stan feels like he is alone but he is not alone."

"Kyle, are you starting to get feelings for him?"

"Why would you ask that?" I ask with my heart doing little jumps in my chest.

"You sound disappointed that he thinks he is alone," explained Kenny. "I mean he pushed you away didn't he?"

"Yeah but still…" I mutter. I mean can I even really say I like Stan. I feel like I don't even know him to be honest. It's like I do but I don't. Sometimes I see the old Stan peak through or I was before this tension developed between us. I continue to do all the talking knowing damn well Kenny is probably laid up with some girl she is going to have to wait. I get home and all of the lights are off. Mom and dad are known for going to bed early.

I take a nice late shower and crawl into bed. I keep thinking, wondering did Stan feel that way this whole time. If he did, I feel awful, like I should have tried harder to be there for him or something. I drift off to sleep but I ended up light sleeping the whole damn night full of tosses and turns. I finally get out of bed deciding I just have to settle for a damn good nap today.

I head downstairs and I can see both of my parents are up. I'm glad to see mom cooked breakfast. I wave to them both sitting down at the breakfast table in the kitchen.

"How did everything go last night?" she asked. Mom knows I was going to the poetry reading. I told her not to tell Ike so he wouldn't freak out.

"Everything was great," I replied. For the most part, it was…."I got to hear Stan read a poem as well as some other people."

"Oh really," questioned my mom. "Did your brother get up on stage?"

"Not at all," I reply grabbing a pancake. Mom's pancakes are so good I don't even need syrup.

"Can you go and wake your brother," said mom. "We need to have a talk with him. I was going to wait but I will be heading out today. I have some last minute preparations for work. I'm certain I won't be able to concentrate unless I speak to Ike."

"Okay," I reply swallowing pancakes. I head up the stairs opening Ike's door knowing he is not going to answer if I knock. "Ike mom…." I blink several times trying to register what I'm seeing. My heart starts slamming inside my chest making me feel like I'm having a small heart attack.

"Kyle," said Stan sitting up pushing Ike away from him. Stan's hair is a total mess and he looks like he just got up although he is clearly blushing with his cheeks so pink. Ike turns around giving me an evil glare.

"What the fuck do you want!" he barks.

"Um…m-mom needs to see you downstairs before she goes to the o-office…." I stammer. "Stan uh stay here….n-now is not the best time for my parents to know you are here."

"Kyle….." starts Stan. I run out of the room heading straight into my room to gather myself. What the fuck? Stan is into my little brother, oh god I feel sick. I reach for my trashcan beside my desk dropping to my knees. I lean over the trashcan taking deep breathes. The need to throw up is slowly going away. I hear my room door open and I look up at Stan. He is now dressed in his clothes from last night. "Kyle are you okay?" He runs over to help me up.

"Don't touch me!" I scream at him. I can't get that image out of my mind of him kissing Ike…..

"Please let me explain," begged Stan.

"It doesn't matter…" I reply standing up. "It's not like you owe me any favors. I know you hated me but to date my brother….my little brother! He is 4 years younger than you."

"Kyle I'm not into Ike in that way," he replied. "It wasn't what you think…"

"I know what I saw!" I snap cutting him off. "I didn't hate you before but now I really do."

"What?" questioned Stan looking devastated. I'm too pissed off to register the fact he shouldn't even be looking like I'm the one who killed his joy.

"It doesn't matter now," I shrug wiping the tears from my face that started to fall. "I never hated you. In this past couple of weeks, you have been a straight douche. Before that, I really thought we were going to be friends again." I look away from Stan mad that I'm even crying about this. I have turned my back turned to him.

"I thought you hated me," he says softly.

"I told you, I could never hate you," I said sniffling. It's easier for me to gather myself if I'm not looking at him.

"Ike said that you hated me," I turn around with this new information hitting my brain.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I question confused and borderline angry. I think I know where this is going and I'm praying it is not true.

"Like when you said you didn't want me touching you I was freaking out so I text Ike," explained Stan looking down. "He is easier to talk to than the others granted he's your brother, he also gets me the best out of everyone in our inner circle. He said that you hated me." I'm furious. What the hell was Ike thinking? I mean I know he can be mean but this is insane. He not only almost destroyed our friendship but could have had Stan failing his senior year in the process.

"What the hell…" I mutter running my left hand through my hair. "I have my reasons for not wanting you to touch me."

"Oh, so it's just me that can't touch you?" asked Stan. That came out very wrong.

"Raven…it's hard to explain," I reply looking at him. "That's not the point right now." Stan walks over to me and is standing a lot closer than I would want. I'm trying to control my breathing. I look at him wondering what is going through his mind. His whole body language just changed right before my eyes. I watch as Stan slowly brings his hand to my hair.

"Your hair is soft….." he says looking at me. I watch Stan examine my hair up close.

"Yeah…." I replied. "I got a perm to relax the curls, I got tired of them. They were way too much maintenance."

"I liked your curls….." he says still playing in my hair.

"Raven please…." I beg beginning to feel butterflies going crazy in my stomach. Stan gets closer until our lips almost meet.

"You never hated me?" he asked softly just above a whisper.

"Never….." I confirm looking Stan in the eye. He looks back at me intensely and I can see a sparkle entering his eyes. Stan leans in slowly kissing me.


	10. Chapter 10

KYLE

I put my hands on his chest to push him away but I can't. Not because I'm weak but because I don't want to. Stan licks at my lip causing me to moan a little. "Hahhh….ha…." I wrap my arms around his neck trapping him to my body wanting to feel all he has to offer. He may be confused about who he is but he certainly knows how to convey what he feels with that mouth. Stan wraps his arms around my waist causing me to feel his hard dick against my stomach. My arousal instantly goes up knowing he is aroused too. "Oh god…" I moan as it dawns on me I think I want to have sex with Stan. We aren't even dating for god sake.

"Kyle…" moans Stan into the kiss as he softly rolls his hips into mine. My eyes roll a little because every moment he makes is so beautiful. I hear a knock on my door bringing me back to reality. Fuck. I'm pretty hard myself. I pull away from Stan quickly adjusting my pants while Stan sits on my bed putting his hands in his lap. I look at Stan making sure he is good to go before speaking. "Come in."

"Notice that I actually knocked," droned Ike tilting his head at me once he walks into my room. I'm sure Stan sticks out like a sore thumb in my room. Ike looks shocked to see him. "Raven…..what are you doing in here?"

"Uh…..talking about some tutor stuff," he replied rubbing his hands on his jeans. "What did your mom want?"

"She is trying to set some boundaries or whatever I don't know," says Ike rolling his eyes. "All I know is she is wanting me to be home more. I'm a growing teenager for crying out loud, I'm going to have friends. Sorry, you had to be stuck in here talking about school shit."

"It's cool," said Stan standing up. I look back at my brother to keep from looking at Stan's crotch. "Um…..when will it be safe to leave the house?"

"Mom should be leaving in another hour so you should be good to go then," I explain.

"Well I'm taking my friend back into hiding, in my room," said Ike walking and grabbing Stan's arm. "Next time fucking knock."

"Yeah Ike we need to talk….." Stan says slowly.

"We can do that in my room," he replies nonchalantly.

"Uh…sure," replied Stan. I can tell that he is uncomfortable. Soon as they leave my room I bring my hands to my hair almost pulling on it. What the fuck. Like seriously what the fuck. I'm more confused than I was before. I mean is he gay? Does he like me? What the fuck! I have to text Kenny. I walk over grabbing my phone.

Kyle: Kenny wakes your ass up. Stan kissed me.

Kenny: What the hell? I don't understand…..

Kyle: You? What about me! I don't get what the fuck is happening

Kenny: Stan is gay. When did that happen?

Kyle: Shit I don't even know if he is gay. I woke up this morning and he was in Ike's room.

Kenny: Why was he in Ike room?

Kyle: I don't fucking know but I walked in on them kissing.

Kenny: Seriously, wowwwwwww

Kyle: Are you able to come by?

Kenny: Yeah give me an hour

I sigh sitting my phone on my nightstand. I can feel my face getting hot thinking about what happened earlier. I turn around when I hear my room door open and close. Stan is leaning against the door.

"Sorry for not knocking…" he says lowly. "Uh, Ike needed some time to himself."

"Oh…" is all I can manage to say. I bury my face in my hands.

"I also wanted to apologize for earlier," says Stan. "I didn't mean for that happen." I peak at him through the crack in my fingers, he looks just as embarrassed as I do. I don't know what he means by not wanting that to happen. He kissed me first and it was…..sweet. I'm trying to think of what to say. "I haven't been this close to anyone since Wendy."

"Are you serious?" I asked dropping my hands. Stan nods with his cheeks still stained red. "That kiss you gave me was uh…kind of advanced." Stan certainly seemed like he knew what he was doing. I'm rather impressed that he hasn't really kissed anyone.

"Did you hate it?" he asked concerned.

"No, I loved it." I clear my throat as we make eye contact blushing further. "I mean are you…"

"I don't know…" replied Stan cutting me off. "I don't know how to explain it…it just felt like an out of body experience." He looks at the floor. I understand what he means. I can't help but notice he is still by the door.

"Are you okay now?" I ask quietly.

"I don't know…." said Stan. "I really want to kiss you again." I can feel myself blushing because I want to kiss him again too. Stan pulls his phone out of his back pocket looking at it. "If you're right about your mom leaving I have another 35 minutes to wait."

"I am," I reply shifting on my bed. "You don't have to stay over there by the door."

"I feel safe over here….." he mutters. I feel this energy in the room I don't remember feeling before. I slowly get off my bed walking over to him. I decided to toss caution into the wind and ask him what is really on my mind. I tilt my head to the side.

"Raven, do you like me?" I ask. I didn't think he could get any redder but he did. I grab Stan's hand, he closes his eyes but doesn't let go. I just stare at him with my feelings raising and I can't stop them. I lean up kissing Stan tenderly. Yes, this is right, everything about this feels right. Stan slowly returns the kiss massaging his lips against mine. He squeezes my hand as he continues to kiss me. I'm hoping my kissing skills match his, wondering if he is enjoying it.

"Mmpphh…" he moans into the kiss. That moan lets me know he does like it. I slow the kiss down wanting to explore him. Stan like a good student follows my lead. He wraps a free arm around my waist pulling me closer to his body. The heat is just flowing off his skin.

"Nnngghhh…" I moan as his rubs me just right. I loosen one my fingers lightly tracing the inside of one of Stan's fingers as I continue to kiss him softly.

"Haaa…..ha….." moans Stan. I pull back to look at him. I let go of his hand so I bring it to his face. I'm looking at him wondering if he feels everything I'm feeling. "Dude…" I look at him seeing that familiar Stan spark in his eye. It's like he is becoming alive again. I kiss him sliding my tongue into his mouth this time. I'm more than pleased when I feel his tongue meet mine. I groan feeling his hand slide up the back of my shirt.

"Shit…." I moan. Stan kisses me as he starts to back me up to my bed until we tumble over. All the nerves people say when it comes to sex, I don't feel. Well I don't even know if we're going to have sex but it feels like it, the timing couldn't be more perfect and the mood is on point. I spread my legs and Stan falls through them kissing me more deeply than has been. "Stan…"I moan rolling my hips up towards him.

"Ahhhh….ahh….." he moans burying his face into my shoulder. He let out what I guess he would consider being an embarrassing moan. Stan mocks my movement by thrusting his hips.

"Ohhh….hahhh…"I moan. I have never felt like this and it feels addicting. I mean for me to do this with Stan is a big deal. His hand slides down my waist, the side of my ass rubbing the sides of my thighs. "Uuggghhh…." I reach for his jeans undoing the button wanting to feel just a little more.

I bury my face into his neck as I proceed to suck on it. I want him to feel virtuous. He has been through so much, I need him to know, I'm different, we're different but we can still come together in this way. My fingertips lightly trace over this dick that has fallen out fully hard. I don't have the balls to look at it but it feels a little big, it's so warm, feels like it has a life of its own in a way as I felt a slight twitch. The length feels average but I'm not sure, I don't really care about that. I slowly wrap my hand around his dick, my hand begins to stroke his dick slowly.

"Ggaaahhh….." groans Stan thrusting into my hand. Hearing that groan makes me even harder. His hand goes over my stomach to my PJ bottoms. I'm trying not to blow my load from the feel of his hand on my skin alone. His touch is always so soft and careful thus far. No hesitation, no rush, as if he is treasuring every inch of my body.

"Ahhh…..ah…yessss….."I moan. I release a sigh feeling his hand wrap around my dick. I refocus on his neck as I continue to move my own hand. I can't believe this is happening but here we are. Soon I want to feel his lips again on the side of my neck once more. I bring my free hand to his face guiding him away from neck and back to my mouth. Stan is not only kissing me passionately but he slides his tongue into my mouth thrusting his tongue softly. "Nnnggghhh…." It feels so good to feel his hands pleasuring me. "Ahhh…haaa…" Stan begins to lightly thrust into my hand. I arch my back beginning to shake surprising me. "Ohhhh…..hahh….haa…."

"Ohhh kyyy…" moans Stan into my mouth. My eyes open in shock at the intimate nickname.

"Ahhh…..aaaahhh….."I whimper beginning to thrust into his hand. I can feel my climax building. My body shakes more as I continue to fight it. Stan leans close to my lips almost kissing me.

"Kyleeee…I-I'm cumming…..ha…..I'm cumming…..aaarrggghhh…." Stan begins to moan against my lips. My own orgasm catches me off guard shaking my body to my very core.

"Stannnn….oh godddd….ahhh….hahh…." I moaned arching my back as we continue to stroke each other until we're soft. Stan collapse beside me breathing hard. I close my eyes and I can still feel him. Not his dick in my hand but….like he is in my mind. It's so weird. I just lay there because I feel light headed. Stan's face is still nuzzled my neck. I blink repletely trying to get this buzz to go away.

"Uggghh….." groans Stan as if he is feeling the same way.

"Kyle," It's Kenny. I hear him knocking on the door. Stan moves off me stumbling in the process.


	11. Chapter 11

KYLE

"Uh, one minute!" I say sitting up. I stand up to grab some tissues but fall to my knees. Shit. I guess my body hasn't recovered from that damn orgasm. Stan helps me up before grabbing some tissues. He helps me wipe off my stomach moving quickly. I'm too busy staring at him as his cheeks are still red. Stan fixes up his clothes before checking me out one final time. He gives me a nod of approval, I run over to the door opening it.

"Man took you long enough," said Kenny walking into my room. He stops when he sees Stan. "Hey…."

"Hey…" said Stan. "Uh is his mom still here?"

"Naw, she just left," said Kenny still in awe.

"Thanks, Kyle I will see you at school." Stan runs out of the room when I say run I mean literally running. Kenny looks at me.

"What the fuck was that?" he asked. I walk over closing my door leaning against it. "You have some serious explaining to do man." Kenny looks around my room. "Smells like sex in here."

"We didn't have sex," I replied walking over to my bed thinking about how Stan and I were just there. I sit down scratching my head trying to clear my mind. Usually, I would be embarrassed to talk about such things but I really do need Kenny's thoughts on this.

"There is no denying you did something," chuckles Kenny grabbing a chair and sitting down. "You got that look."

"What look?" I ask in confusion.

"That 'I just had the best orgasm of my life' look," laughed Kenny. "You actually look high."

"Shut up!" I exclaim throwing a pillow at him.

"Fill me in man," said Kenny. "Seems like I missed a lot which is surprising because I just spoke to you."

"I don't know where to start…" I replied. "I mean I still don't know why Stan was really here. He did smell of alcohol and cigarettes but nothing too serious. He didn't even have a hangover or anything."

"Screw that," said Kenny leaning forward in the chair. "How the hell did you two end up hooking up?"

"It just happened," I shrugged looking down. "The crazy thing is I thought Stan hated me and he thought I hated him. Had we talked about this weeks ago we would have known that was not the case."

"You two jeez…." laughed Kenny. "Not a damn thing has changed, you two could never hate each other."

"Funny because that is what I told him. I could never hate him." I replay the earlier invents in my head. "He kissed me. He said he doesn't know what happened. It was like he couldn't control his self. I believe him because I almost feel the same way." I look at Kenny, he seems very engaged in what I'm saying. "It was….I don't know just insane."

"And?" encourages Kenny.

"And we jacked off…" I muttered. Kenny starts to laugh. "Kenny!"

"Sorry I mean it does smell so full of balls in here," he chuckles.

"Kenny!"

"Sorry, I mean it's about time you get some action and who thought it would be with old Stanley there."

"I know," I sigh. "To make matters worse I think Ike liked him. I feel like such as ass because I never noticed."

"Are you sure he liked him?" asked Kenny.

"Kenny, he was kissing Stan this morning and Stan made it very clear he was not interested in Ike," I explained. "I think Stan let him down nicely as he could but there is no nice way to say hey I'm interested in your older brother."

"Well it's not like Ike ever tells you anything so how would you have known," said Kenny. "I could hear Ike crying you know. Stan must have broken the poor kid's heart and…then came in here hooking up with you."

"Aw shit," I say standing up. "Should I be a good big brother and go talk to him?"

"I would say no, in this case, Kyle, what the hell are you really going to say to him?" questions Kenny. "Sorry but not sorry, Ike is a tough kid. He will adjust. Besides it's not like you and Stan are a thing."

"Yeah…." I say slowly. Stan and I aren't a thing but I think I want us to be.


	12. Chapter 12

STAN

It's been two weeks since everything happened. I'm more than glad that spring is officially here so I can start wearing tee's outside. My grade for math has gone up to a C but I need Kyle to help me with last of the material to ensure that I'm going to past. It's kind of sad how I won't know for sure if I'm graduating until the last minute. Things have been weird, to say the least around him. We never talked about what happened in his room. It has been hard as hell to keep focused during our session and not maul him. As for Ike, where do I even start with that?

"Word is you're now able to graduate," said Pete.

"For now…." I mutter. "I haven't even taken my finals."

"Yeah, you could still flunk those so who knows," said Ike smoking his cigarette. He has been super bitter about what happened. How the hell was I suppose to know he had a thing for me. I mean Ike is great, yes he gets me more than anyone in the group but something is just off. There is a reason I can't put my finger on, it's not age but something else. I don't have time to sit here and try to figure it out.

"Repeating wouldn't be so bad," said Henrietta. "You would at least have Firkle and Ike, you would also be ahead of the learning curve too."

"I'm not trying to repeat shit," I growl. "I hate it here."

"I agree with Raven," said Pete. "Who would want to be here that much longer. You idiots have been seriously slacking on looking for a place."

"I'm trying not to fail," I reply. "I have a great excuse."

"What's your excuse?" asked Pete looking at Henrietta.

"I don't care," she shrugged. "I'm down to live where ever as long as it is not with my parents."

"I can't wait until we can live with you guys," said Firkle. I feel bad because they got another 4 years to wait. For all I know I might even have my own place by then.

"I have been able to locate some properties for 1200 a month," said Pete. "We would all have to become a slave to society to afford the place."

"God we will be like Michael…." droned Henrietta. "Working for a bunch of assholes."

"Which assholes would you rather deal with?" asked Pete. "Your parents or a bunch of strangers would only see 5 days a week while getting paid."

"Tough call…" I state.

"I know…," said Henrietta. "Both sound horrible and like seriously the bottom of hell. Not the kind I would enjoy." I finish my cigarette tossing it to the ground and smashing it under my sneaker.

"Tutor time, I will see you all later." Ike doesn't even look at me as I leave but I can tell that he is pissed off just by me mentioning I'm going to my session. I can't help it that I'm not into him. I head towards the library the first thing I notice is Kyle in the hall. "Hey, everything okay?"

"Yes and no…" he replies. "The library is closed as they are starting the remodel to be done for the new school year."

"Like seriously!" I exclaim. "When the hell did they plan to tell us?"

"Everything is okay," said Kyle. "Mr. Anderson has opened up his classroom for us to study in." I don't like that idea at all.

"Will Wendy be there?" I ask.

"Yeah…" said Kyle starting to walk. "Are you okay with that?"

"Not really…." I reply. "I mean I don't hate Wendy anymore but I still prefer to not be in the same room as her."

"What are you suggesting?" asked Kyle. "I can see your wheels spinning." I hold in a smile that he knew I was thinking of something better than going into Mr. Anderson classroom.

"We can go to my home or yours…" I say slowly remembering what happened the last time we were in Kyle's room. Kyle seems to be remembering as well with he turning red.

"Your place," he says finally.

"Alright, we can drive there," I said changing our direction to the student parking lot.

"You and Kenny are so lucky to have a vehicles," said Kyle. "I'm not sure when I will get one."

"Yeah it's just my dad's old car but it is better than nothing."

"True," agrees Kyle. "I'm surprised that Kenny was even able to afford anything at all."

"That surprised me," I admit. "I didn't think Kenny would have a car of his own."

"Kenny works hard," sighs Kyle. "He is doing everything he can to not be like his parents." I nod. "So have you started looking for work yet?"

"No….." I reply. "Why are you asking about me finding a job?

"Well, I overheard Ike talking to Pete last week about you guys finding a house to rent together," explains Kyle.

"Oh, that…." I reply. "Yeah, Pete was filling us in on everything today. I just want to focus on finishing school before I even start thinking about work."

"How are you able to keep your car?" asked Kyle.

"My dad covers everything for now," I said as we reached the parking lot. "He almost took it away from once before when I was failing. I had managed to keep them from finding out this time."

"By luck I'm sure," said Kyle. We get to the car and hop inside. I take off towards home. I'm actually excited about having Kyle alone. I don't know why because we're not dating, we're not doing anything, just studying. I guess in a sense it is funnier to be around him and not my usual friends. As of lately, they seem to….I don't know…annoy me. Ike being all mid evil on me isn't helping. We get out of the car and head inside.

"You want anything to drink?" I ask him while we're downstairs.

"I'm fine right now, thanks," he said. We tackle the stairs getting to my room. I actually wish I cleaned up this morning now. I try to half make my bed before sitting down. I run my hands over my jeans.

"What is the focus today?"

"Well…" said Kyle grabbing the chair. "You're almost caught up to your current work so we just need to make sure you stay ahead."

"Finally," I sighed. "I was beginning to think I would never catch up."

"You just needed to understand the material, that's all," he says softly. Kyle pulls out a binder. "I don't think we will need to meet as often now. Maybe once a week to go over your class notes to make sure you understand." I'm not happy to hear this at all. I was enjoying seeing him 4 days a week. "You look sad about it." I didn't know he was staring, damnit.

"Oh," I chuckle. "I'm not sad I just wasn't expecting that." Kyle hands me a worksheet.

"You can work on this, then I can go over your notes for this week," explains Kyle. "You should be happy as this will free up your time in the evening now. I'm sure your friends miss you."

"They see me every day just about," I reply. "They will live." I get comfortable on my bed as Kyle searches through his phone. I keep glancing up seeing Kyle brush his bangs off his face. I try to focus on my worksheet but it's hard to. I just keep thinking about what happened, we can't ignore it forever. "Kyle, can we talk?"

"Talk about what?" he asked looking up from his phone.

"I'm having a hard time concentrating because we never talked about what happened between us." His face goes red as he lowers his phone.

"Um okay," says Kyle. He looks flustered already. "Something did happen…..I wasn't sure if we should have made a big deal about it."

"It's a very big deal to me," I reply looking at him. "You don't understand, I haven't been this close to anyone in a long time. You came along and…..and that's changing." I stop talking looking down because I'm so overwhelmed. I glance back at Kyle deciding to try and communicate my feelings. "I think I'm starting to like you. I'm scared and I don't have anyone to talk to about it." I watch as Kyle bites his lip.

"I don't understand…" he mumbled. "I don't understand why this is happening." He stands up and starts pacing. Watching him is making me want a cigarette.

"You like me too?" I asked realizing I never asked him how he felt about me. I know he doesn't hate me but that doesn't mean he wants to be with me romantically. Kyle looks at me and stops moving.

"I do….." he said quietly. "I feel like I don't even know you." I can't argue with him there. We don't know each other but at the same time, it's like we do. Today the conversation we had was by far the longest and most natural. "I can't deny that something is here between us. I just didn't want to feel like I was pressuring you." He does like me, even with me being like this…..that says a lot. I look at him knowing I want to get to know him again, I want to him to get to know me.

"I want you to know how I am…." I reply after some thought. Kyle looks at me as he makes his way back to his chair. He looks like he is trying to think of what to say, his face is still red.

"I would like that," he says before slowly smiling.

"Awesome," I reply with a smile of my own. "Would you like to officially hang out this Saturday?" Kyle laughs. God, I miss that laugh. I didn't realize how much until just now.

"Yeah that sounds good," he said. Is this is date? No, no he is just getting to know me. I take a deep breath calming myself down. "Are you able to concentrate now?"

"A little….." I admit as I stare at his lips wanting to kiss them. I pick up my worksheet feeling this huge weight lifted off my chest. I smile as I begin to work on the spreadsheet.


	13. Chapter 13

KYLE

I'm standing in front of my mirror looking to make sure I look okay. I wearing some jeans a tee shirt and my favorite jacket. Still gets a little chilly at night. I play with my hair a bit when I notice Ike standing in the frame of my door.

"Ike….." I said turning around. "Uh, I thought you were hanging out with your friends tonight?"

"I was," he snapped. "He's busy." I didn't tell Ike I was going out with Stan, whatever this is. It's best to not say anything.

"Uh what about Pete or Henrietta," I say feeling guilty.

"Pete and Henrietta just started dating," he pouts. "They are up under each other's asses." Wow, he sounds so bitter.

"What about Firkle?" I asked.

"He's grounded but unable to sneak out tonight. His mom can be so overbearing."

"You mean like ours," I joke.

"What are you up to tonight?" he asked.

"Uh just going to hang out," I replied keeping it short.

"God I'm sure Kenny has nothing but smutty shit to talk about," Ike states. I laugh because he is not wrong. "I'll see you around." He walks back to his room and I'm glad as I feel my phone buzz. Stan is downstairs. I make sure I have my wallet and phone and head downstairs moving quickly.

"Mom I am going out," I yelled.

"Have a great time," she replied. "Don't come back with any bad habits." She assumed I was hanging out with Kenny. I can't tell her without blowing my cover to Ike. "Don't forget curfew."

"Right!" I said walking out the door. I look up to make sure Ike is not looking out of the window. I run to the car jumping into the passenger as quickly as I can. "Go!" Stan looks startled but takes off as soon as I'm in the car.

"What's happening?" asked Stan looking into his review mirror.

"I un couldn't let Ike see me leaving with you…" I explain.

"Oh right," said Stan. "He was pretty upset yesterday but he always mad at me now."

"I think he had some strong feelings for you," I reply. I have to say I feel really guilty about this. Although Stan wasn't dating my brother it's almost as if Stan was his first love. I mean he has been moping and meaner than usual. "I can't have him knowing we're friends, not yet."

"Friends huh?" asked Stan.

"Uh, I guess…" I say slowly.

"I'm just messing with you," smiled Stan. "I guess I lost my sense of humor."

"Not so much," I smile because I can tell he is making an effort to make me comfortable. I look at Stan and he is wearing black jeans and a white tee. He looks pretty cute. It's a shame he hides it under all those black sweatshirts and layers. Stan tucks a hair behind his ear revealing a stud earring. "Holy shit! You pierced your ear!" Stan laughs. I'm so happy to hear and see him laughing a lot. It causes me to laugh a little.

"Mom would kill me," he replies. "The one I had in 4th grade was fake but this is the real deal. You have to keep it a secret. I got it done last weekend as a gift to myself for doing so well in math."

"Excuses," I chuckle. "You were going to do it anyway."

"You're so right," he says as we share a laugh.

"What are we doing today?" I ask.

"I figured we could get to stark pond, hang out, get to know each other" he explains casually. "I can pick up some food too."

"That would be cool," I reply liking the image.

"Remember when we use to hang out there all the time,"

"Yeah I do," I smiled. "I kind of stopped going there as much once…" I stop my sentence because once Stan wasn't apart of the group we didn't really go to the pond like that. It was a wrap once Cartman starting dating Heidi. He was always around her and still is. She is the only one willing to put up with his shit so god bless her.

"Once what?" asked Stan. "I stopped hanging around."

"Yeah….."I say slowly. "It just wasn't the same." We're quiet for a moment.

"So are we going to talk about the fact that we both jerked each other off," states Stan bluntly. I start coughing as I look at the floor trying to catch my breath. "Didn't mean to uh throw you for a loop."

"A warning would be nice….." I whispered.

"Don't get shy on me now….." smirked Stan. I laugh a little. "We kind of spoke on it briefly, I have some questions about it. So are you gay or whatever?"

It's so weird how at times he can be so forward like how he use to be but then be so shy. I'm not sure which Stan I'm ever going to get. I think about my answer before responding.

"I'm gay," I reply.

"I'm bi," said Stan. "It was really weird figuring the whole thing out. I'm just glad most people at our school don't care."

"Yes they do," I reply. "You're just on the outside so you don't get to hear all the bullshit I do. Most of the time I ignore what people are saying unless it is coming from the person themselves."

"I do recall you not liking gossip," said Stan thoughtfully. I nod thinking a bit more.

"Raven, if you haven't been with anyone how do you know you're bi?" I ask. I mean I'm really curious about that. I personally felt attracted to both men and women. I started dating a couple of girls, a guy or two and realized I do like guys. The connect was more there than when I was with a girl. Being with a girl I can do it but it feels forced, doesn't make me happy because I know I am not being true to myself. I like men period. I see Stan looks annoyed by the question I asked but at least he seems to be thinking of a response.

"I just know okay," he replies. "Where do you want to eat?" Yeah, I caught on that he was changing the subject.

"It doesn't matter," I shrug.

"I want you to have something you like," said Stan. I try to think about where I want to eat and nothing is coming to mind. Stan laughs. "You can't think of anything. You must eat out a lot if you can't think of one place."

"No really," I reply. "I mean there are not that many places I want to eat at in town."

"Alright, I want to have KFC," says Stan.

"Ugh, Cartman's fav," I reply.

"Is it really?" he asked. I forget that is why we're hanging out is so he can get to know me again, what he has missed out on, He really has missed so much.

"Yeah," I reply as Stan starts to drive in that direction.

"I feel like I have been living on a different planet," he states.

"You have no idea," I replied. "He has been dating Heidi on and off for years." Stan looks upset for just a second.

"Sounds familiar," he replies lowly. I think Stan is thinking about how on and off him and Wendy use to be. Although we were young Stan and Wendy relationship was pretty serious.

"Uh well, when will you want to see Kenny?" I ask to change the subject. "He would love to hang out with you again."

"Really?" he asked. "He is not upset about me not being around?"

"I mean we all were but you made your decision," I explained as we pulled into the parking lot. Stan parks the car we get out and head inside. Stan and I get in line, not too many people in front of us. I don't want anything major, just a 3 piece meal. Stan gets the same thing as me. We're getting fountain drinks when I see Wendy and Token walk in. Token is rocking a low fade standing at his 6'2 height. He is wearing a tee with some jean shorts, Wendy looks pretty cute with her maxi dress and denim jacket. Wendy sees me first smiling wide.

"Hey!" she said running over pulling me in for a hug. "I haven't seen you around lately."

"It's close to the end of the school year," I reply. "Most students don't need as much help at the moment. Hi Token."

"Hi Kyle, are you eating here?" he asked. "You can totally join us."

"Um no I already have plans," I can see Stan out of the corner of my eye going to grab our food. Wendy's eyes go from me to Stan.

"Are you with him?" she whispered. I nodded quickly.

"I don't have time to explain it," I replied. "I will tell you later I promise." I walk over to Stan. "You ready?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Thanks for grabbing my drink." We get inside the car and I am glad to see he is not completely upset seeing the two. I try not to drink most of my tea on the way to Stark Pond. Once at the pond we look for a good area to sit. Stan really planned this, it makes me feel some kind of way. In a good way. He grabbed a blanket out of his car. I find my mind going to us making out on this blanket, I shake the image from my mind. "This looks like a good spot." He set up the blanket. I sit down beside him. He did pick out a good spot.

We're under a tree that has little leaves starting to sprout. The pond is right across from us providing an excellent view. I take a bite of my biscuit as I stare on trying to think of what else to discuss with Stan. He seems like he is trying to think of something to say too.


	14. Chapter 14

KYLE

"I haven't told anyone this before but I was put on anti-depressants in 8th grade," admits Stan not looking at me. This surprises me. I mean sure he was sad all the time but I did not think it was that extreme. "I didn't tell my friends because I know they would think it was cool but I hated it." I do not say anything because I know he is not done. "They didn't pull me off the meds until 10th grade. Apparently, I was still too emotionally unstable. They were going to put me on a different brand but I didn't want that shit in my system anymore period." I do recall Stan being super reserved at that point but also picking fights with everyone. "You got anything that can top that?"

"No, I don't," I reply wanting to change the subject. I want to talk about something that will make him happy. "How long have you been writing?"

"I have been writing since the breakup," he sighed. "It's kind of nice outlet or whatever. Like I seriously need to write every day." He runs his hands through his hair. "Explain to me how you came to perm your hair."

"God…" I said rolling my eyes. "I guess I can go into detail about that, I got tired of having to deal with it in the morning. I mean my curls seem to get harder to control as we got to high school."

"It can't be that bad," he replied looking at me.

"Yeah, it was," I said touching my soft hair. "I love the way it is now. I can style it a lot more now." Stan stares at me making my heart flutter. He leans in slightly,for a moment I think he is going to kiss me.

"Have you always had freckles?" he asked tilting his head.

"A few…" I say slowly looking away to focus back on my food that is getting colder by the minute. We eat in silence staring out at the pond. Stan is finished he goes to toss his trash, he comes back standing over top of me.

"Is it cool if we go for a walk?" he asks.

"Sure," I say standing up wiping my hands on my jeans. I decided to take my drink with me. "How is Shelly, she looks uh pretty."

"I wouldn't know," replied Stan stuffing his hands in his jean pockets. "I'm just glad she doesn't give me a bunch of shit anymore. I know she has had a few boyfriends or whatever but I don't really keep up with her though."

"You know more than what I know about Ike," I pointed out. "I think my mom misses him because he is never home."

"I'm not sure what he is going through," said Stan. "But I can relate to not wanting to be home or whatever. I hate being at home if I'm anywhere other than my room." We spot some ducks up ahead, could have to feed them if I didn't finish my biscuit. It is a little family which is cute, it is spring after all. "You still game?"

"Hell yes," I laughed. God Stan is adorable. "I never stopped. Do you still play?"

"No," he replied. "I'm almost wanting to try it again." I get so excited about hearing this. I miss playing with Stan, he was seriously my right-hand man.

"You should!" I exclaim. "What was the last game you played?"

"I don't even know…" he muttered. "World Craft I think."

"Oh my god, you have missed so much," I reply. "You will have to come over some time so I can show you everything you missed out on. Trust me I will not steer you wrong. Kenny is more into the online gaming than the actual systems. I like to do both." I watch as Stan smiles.

"You don't strike me as the type that would be that into gaming," says Stan looking at me still smiling.

"I know," I beam. "A lot of people assume because I'm smart, I'm some kind of a dork but I'm not. I am like everyone else except smart, plus I give a damn about my future." I look behind us to see the ducks are kind of waddling behind us. Why are they following us? That not normal behavior.

"I was surprised to see how you dressed," said Stan. "I could have sworn you would have been a button down shirt with a sweater and slacks."

"Uh no….." I replied with a short chuckle. "I hate getting dressed up. I'm most comfortable in jeans." I feel like Stan is trying to find himself again but I'm not sure. Sure he is trying to get to know me but this feels…..different. I'm so glad that he is though, I miss him. We walk the whole lake talking about a lot of other stuff. Stan filled me in on the stuff that went on in his house but he stayed out of the drama as he says. I filled him on most of the stuff that went on with us as well. The sun is starting to set and it looks so pretty. I can feel the air starting to get cooler. I walk to the edge of the water. "This is so pretty."

"I guess…..." said Stan walking to stand beside me with his hands in his jeans.

"I like the orange in the sky," I explain. "It's my favorite."

"You're just saying that because your hair is red," laughed Stan.

"I'm not," I laughed. Stan lightly punches me in my arm and I begin to wobble. I fight hard to get my balance back but I'm unsuccessful as I feel my body hit the cold water. I stand up spitting the water out of my mouth complete disgusted. "Really!"

"Shit…," said Stan looking pitiful. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea you would fall."

"Of course you didn't," I reply making my way closer to him. "Help me up." Stan comes to help me up when his own foot slips on the rocks sending him splashing into a spot beside me. I hate being in this water but I can't help but laugh.

"That did not just happen…" said Stan standing up looking down at his clothes. "This shirt is brand new."

"Is it now?" I question.

"Well yeah I wanted to look nice today," he explains. "Wear something other than all black or grey." I couldn't tell him it's just me, don't think so hard but I was the same way. It took me an hour to figure out what tee and jeans to wear. Stan is taller and easily climbs out. He pulls me up I immediately feel cold. "It's freezing" he is jogging to the blanket on the ground as I follow behind him wrapping my arms around myself trying to warm up.

"We have to get out these wet clothes," I state. Then it dawns on me we will have to get into his car soaking wet. "Aww, what about your car?" Stan picks up the blanket turning towards me. I can't help but focus on his hard nipples I can clearly see through his wet tee shirt. Stan wraps the blanket around us both. I feel my arm against him and it feels just as cold as mine does.

"The car will be fine," he replied. "Let's get out of here so we can change out of these clothes." I'm disappointed as I wanted more time with him. I feel like we are starting to get somewhere like we were a few months ago. We walk towards the car cuddled close together. Stan tries his best to put the blanket over the seat to protect the seats. "Thank god we left our phones in the car."

"I just got my phone and I'm glad I don't have to replace it," I state with a slight shiver. I swear these phones are getting more and more expensive. As a high school student who buys their own shit, it literally breaks my pockets. I watch as Stan speeds down the road with his hair dripping on his forehead. I'm surprised when he takes me to his house. "Wha.."

"It was my fault you fell," he said getting out of the car. "You can use our shower while I wash your clothes."

"You don't have to do that Stan," I state still sitting down.

"I want to," he replied looking at me through his open car door. "Plus, I don't want our evening cut short." I blush slightly as I smile getting out of the car. God he is too sweet, knows just what to say. Funny thing is I don't even think he is trying. Stan walks into the house calling for his mom. He doesn't hear anything going into the kitchen. "She's not here."

"Was she suppose to be?" I asked. Stan pulls out his phone.

"Ah she went out with Butters mom to go shopping," he said putting up his phone. "Yeah, she would have been here, come on." I head up the stairs trying not to shake.

"Where is your dad?" I asked. I'm so use to Mr. Marsh always being around the house.

"He is working overtime and Shelly who knows where the hell she is," he replies. Stan opens his room door. "I'm going to grab you a towel or whatever." I watch as Stan walks out of his room. I look around noticing his room is a lot cleaner than the last time I was here. I look at his desk and notice that there is an old picture there that wasn't there before, a picture of us with Cartman and Kenny. I wonder where did he have that hiding at? He comes back into the room handing me a towel and washcloth.

"Thanks," I reply balancing the items in my arms.

"Uh no problem," he says walking over to his dresser. He pulls out some sweats and a tee for me. "Something for you to put on when you get out of the shower." This is beyond generous but I appreciate it. The smell of the pond is starting to seriously bother me. "You can leave your clothes outside the bathroom door I will grab them."

"Okay," I said as I head towards the bathroom. I can tell Stan feels really bad about this which is why I'm not fighting him on it. I wash myself up quickly trying to save some hot water for Stan. I come out of the bathroom dressed in the clothes he gave me. I'm not a sweatpants kind of person but these feel pretty good. They are a little big on me considering Stan's height but I still look pretty good. I open his room door and my jaw hits the floor. No, he is not naked but he is staring there in a towel. Sure, I had seen him in less but the fact of knowing he has no boxers on.

"Hey," he said over his shoulder. "Sorry I used my parent's bathroom while you were in the hall bathroom. I didn't feel like waiting. That lake water smells disgusting." I just nod. I watch as Stan slides a tee over his head that barely covers his over lower half. He slides his pants under the towel finally letting it fall to the floor. "I think it should be an hour or two before your clothes will be ready."

"Thanks, that's fine," I smile. I walk further into his room patting my hands on my thighs before sitting on the bed trying to decide the best way to kill time. I close my eyes for a moment trying to forget the image of his naked body in that towel. Seems like my brain isn't going to let me forget anytime soon.


	15. Chapter 15

STAN

I can tell Kyle is nervous about being alone with me, I'm a little nervous too but I'm doing my best to not let it show. I'm beginning to feel a little more comfortable being around Kyle. At least he isn't making me feel so stupid. I can't believe that little tap sent him falling into the pond. Washing his clothes is the least I could do, he doesn't seem to mind. I just remember him not liking being dirty. It made me want to offer him a shower, clean clothes and we can continue our time together. I turn on the TV for us as I hear my phone chime. I go to pick it up to see Michael is calling.

"Hello," I say trying not to sound annoyed.

"What are you up to?" asked Michael with no greeting.

"I'm busy, what do you want?" I replied. Usually, when I want to be around my friends there is always something going on that will prevent us from hanging out. Now that I have shit to do they want to call.

"I'm getting off in another two hours and wanted to see if you wanted to get together," explains Michael. "I feel so left out of everything. I can't wait for you guys to graduate."

"Me too," I agree. "I know Ike was bored, why don't you call him?"

"I would but his mom is being super hardcore about his curfew," he drones. I guess Kyle wasn't kidding when he said his mom is trying to reel Ike in. "I mean he could sneak out like he use to, maybe. Shit, I don't know."

"I have to get back to what I was doing," I say cutting him off. I know he is going to try to keep me on the phone. I want to get back to hanging out with Kyle.

"And what is that?" asked Michael slowly. He sounds suspicious slightly. "I'm use to you being all super mope and shit."

"Bye Michael," I say before ending the call. He would have gone on for another 5 minutes just because he is bored and well….wants to hang out.

"I hope Michael is not too mad at you for me stealing your time," said Kyle.

"He will live," I say sitting my phone on the bed. I don't want my friends to know I'm hanging out with Kyle. I'm not ready to hear their shit about it just yet. Plus who knows if Kyle and I will stay friends. He might discover something he doesn't like about me and instantly hate me. I know I sound ridiculous but I can't get my hopes up. I sit down on my bed next to Kyle. "Nothing on TV?" I noticed he is continuing to flip through the channels.

"Hey Terrence and Phillip are on," he replies. "Haven't watched this in forever."

"I stopped watching it," I reply. Kyle face lights up.

"What! We loved this show."

"At the time it didn't seem important," I explain. It also wasn't the same watching it without Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. My current friends can't stand Terrance and Phillip. I tried to get them to watch it once. They didn't make it two minutes before they threatened to break my shit if I didn't turn it off. By shit I mean my TV.

"I can't wait for you to catch up on it," says Kyle. "Add it to our bucket list of things for you to do." Kyle is smiling so wide it almost makes me smile in return. I turn away from him to focus on the show with Kyle. Pretty soon we're laughing just like old times. I can't remember the last time I laughed this much. I have to admit it feels nice, freeing almost. The marathon is finally over after 2 hours, short but sweet. I hear the door downstairs. "There is much more you have to see! I will look for something else for us to watch." I smile because Kyle sounds so excited. It's kind of cute.

"Alright," I said getting up to go greet my mom. I head downstairs quickly ready to get back to my room. Looking around I don't see my mom. Once I get to the laundry room forgetting I was washing clothes. Mom is in the middle of moving the clothes to the dryer. "Mom….."

"Stanley, did you get some new clothes?" she asked. She is holding Kyle's shirt studying it before adding it to the dryer. "I'm surprised that you have clothes with um…color."

"Some are mine, some are Kyle's," I mutter.

"Kyle? He's here?"

"Yeah, he's in my room," I replied. "We went to the park to hang out…..kind of fell in the pond." My mother starts laughing. I'm not sure how to respond to this, she looks so happy.

"This is great!" she exclaimed. "Not great that you fell in of course." She turns on the dryer before turning back to me. "Did you already have dinner?"

"No mom we just had lunch but I don't think he will be staying to dinner," I reply. "He is just waiting for his clothes to be dry."

"Yeah sure," she smiled. "I'm going to get started on dinner so I can have something for your father when he gets home. You know how crabby he can be especially when he has to end up working on the weekend." Boy, don't I. "You go ahead and get back to your friend, go on now." I head back upstairs at the push of mom. You would think my main friends my parents can't stand or something. She is all over Kyle. She never encourages me to spent time with Pete, Frikle, Michael and Henrietta. I head back into my room with an update for Kyle.

"Clothes are in the dryer," I announce.

"Thanks," said Kyle. He sits up a bit more tucking a hair behind his ear. "Found some great movies coming on tonight. Last year's summer blockbusters. I guess getting ready for this year's releases."

"You sound really excited about that," I note sitting on the bed.

"Well yeah, the new Thor movie comes out," exclaimed Kyle. "I have been waiting for this. The first one comes on in a few minutes. I think the 2nd one after but I'm not really sure." I can't help but laugh because he looks so amused. "Have you seen it?"

"No, but I know Henrietta has a thing for Loki or whatever," I explain. I don't know jack shit about those movies.

"She would," said Kyle. "Although I must admit he has this sexy dark thing going on."

"He does," I agree to like the idea of being able to openly talk about my attraction to guys. I look at Kyle wondering what his type is. "What kind of guys do you think are cute?" Kyle blushes a little.

"I don't know," he replied. "I tend to lean more towards mature manly men. You know the kind of guys with muscles but not too much. The kind you get from sports naturally. They don't have to be smart but I want them to understand me. Not judge me for my habits. Like wanting things clean all the time or the showers I like to take. What about you?" I think for a moment.

"I think my ideal guy would be someone shorter than me…" I say slowly.

"You're above the average height!" exclaimed Kyle. "That is going to be an easy find."

"I know more chances of me finding that person," I reply. "I just want someone who wants me, all of me. My depressed days, my good days, it would be nice not to be made fun of regarding my poetry." I think back to English class in 6th grade and I read a poem and everyone made fun of me. It hurt my feelings a lot also adding to my list of why I hate everyone. I'm terrified of someone not loving me for me. "I mean I haven't thought about looks but nice with fluffy hair would be nice." Kyle laughs.

"Fluffy hair?" he repeats.

"Yeah," I replied. "Like yours." I tussle his hair.

"Hey, it's only fluffy because I washed it and I don't have any hair products in it at the moment. Oh, look the movie is starting." We focus on the movie ahead. I can't help but think Kyle may be the guy I'm officially interested in if I could choose a guy. I mean we did jerk each other off, the kiss, god the kiss was out of this world. There is also that one jack off session I had a few months ago. I really never kissed anyone before. My first kiss was with Kyle. I only mocked what little I have seen in movies but that has to mean something. I was expecting Kyle to complain about rookie kissing skills but he didn't. Halfway into the movie, my mom comes to my room, no she didn't knock.

"Hey guys," she smiled. "How is going?"

"We're fine mom…" I drone.

"Hi Mrs. Marsh," smiled Kyle from his spot on my bed.

"Kyle I have your clothes here," she explains. She has the clothes nicely folded. I wonder did she iron them at all, they look so flat. "Stan I'm sitting yours on your dresser. I expect you to put them where they belong. I also have dinner ready. Meatloaf, mash potatoes and green beans."

"That's my favorite!" exclaimed Kyle sounding like the kid brother I never had.

"I didn't know that….." said my mom playing dumb with a smirk on her face. "I spoke to your mom. She said it is okay for you to stay the night. No need for you guys to rush guy time."

"W-wait, wha.." I stammer.

"I'm sorry but it is nice having you here Kyle," said mom. "I haven't seen Stan smile this much in a long time."

"Mom…." I mutter embarrassed looking down at my lap. She is right though, I never smile around them.

"What do you want to drink Kyle?" she asked. "I want to bring up your plates."

"We can eat downstairs," he replies.

"Not a chance tonight," she smiles. "I don't want you missing the movie. See Stan, I told you that cable TV in your room would pay off." My mom got it to make me happy but I barely watch TV like that. Kyle tells my mom is fine with a Dr. Pepper, with that she runs off to get the food.

"Wow…." he says before chucklingly. "So now I'm staying the night."

"Yeah, I guess so….." I replied. Kyle looks back at the TV. "Shit, you're missing the movie." Kyle presses the button to take the movie back. Mom brings up our plates and the food is excellent as always. I'm so full by the time I'm done. I just lean back into my pillows. Despite what happened I have to say today was a perfect day. I watch helplessly as Kyle drifts off to sleep. I'm right behind him as my eyelids become heavy.


	16. Chapter 16

STAN

I hear the voices from my TV which is disturbing my sleep. I reach for my phone feeling around on the blanket for it not wanting to open my eyes just yet. I finally locate it and glance at my phone. It's almost 5 am, jeez. I turn down the volume on my TV before turning back over. I look at Kyle with his fluffy hair as I call it flying everywhere. He must have been serious about needing those hair products. I'm sure my hair looks no better though. I watch him sleep for a while. I want to look away but I can't. It's been years since Kyle and I were this close…..in my bed…I lean forward feeling this pull planting a light kiss on his lips. They're so warm. I expected them to be slightly cool since he is asleep.

I pull back wanting to go back for more. It was never like this with Wendy granted we were 9. I don't want to think much about how the kiss should be performed as Kyle is more experienced than me. I sigh knowing kissing him while he is sleeping is wrong. I continue to look at Kyle leaning close to his lips. I want to kiss him again but I don't. I release a deep breath rubbing my nose against his. I'm glad he hasn't woken up decking me in the face. After a few minutes, I feel Kyle's hand in my hair forcing me to open my eyes. I pull back to only have Kyle pull me back towards him by the front of my shirt.

"Mmmpphh…"I moan feeling his soft lips against mine. How did he know? Did he know I wanted to kiss him? Maybe he wanted to kiss me. Kyle buries his hand into my hair gripping it. "Haaa…..ha…." I pant into his mouth as my hands glide over the side of his waist.

"Nngghh…"moans Kyle into the kiss. He must have liked the way I touched him. I begin to softy massage the side of his waist as we continue to kiss. This feels so virtuous, I want to keep going. We continue to explore each other's mouth and bodies. Kyle hand goes from my hair to my neck, my back. He begins to massage any area he touches as I am doing the same. I'm so pleased when Kyle opens his legs allowing me between them.

"Nneeehhhh…" I groan. It feels like I can't think. All I can think about is being as close to Kyle as possible. I start slowly grinding my hips into Kyle panting harder. "Ahhh…..ha….."

"Raven….." he moans arching his back. I actually cringe at the mention of my goth name. I stop kissing Kyle to look at him. He looks confused as to why I stopped. I look at Kyle in his eyes seeing that he does care about me, a lot…..maybe deeply. I cradle the side of Kyle's face softly rubbing my thumb back and forth.

"You can call me Stan….." I whisper while bringing my face closer to his. Kyle has this look I haven't seen on him since we were kids. He leans up rubbing his nose against my own causing me to sigh deeply before he kisses me. Deep down I think he was awake when I first kissed him, he could feel me. He kissed me in the manner I kissed him earlier. I can no longer keep my voice in as I moan realizing Kyle may feel the same way I do. "Ahhh….ha….haaa…" I'm feeling the heat from between his legs as I continue to roll my hips into him. We both are fighting for control as we continue to kiss humping against one another. I plant my hand on Kyle's stomach. I slowly slide my hand up his skin pushing the shirt up. I stop kissing him so I can watch his face as my hand travels back down his abs going lower. Kyle closes his eyes as if he is embarrassed.

I find myself wanting to taste him. I have never done this before but how hard can it really be. It can't be that hard to do oral, I think? I don't want Kyle to know what I'm doing. I wrap my hand around his cock starting to stroke slowly as I adjust myself on the bed. Kyle closes his eyes arching his back into my bed as I sit back on my knees between his legs.

"Haaa….ahhh….." moans Kyle as I continue to stroke him. I bring my face close enough to his dick putting my mouth on his crown. I can smell my body wash radiating from his skin which makes this more magical somehow. I lick his crown slowly. "Haahhh…..shittt….nnngghhh….." Kyle moans causing me to smile. Yeah, I'm so doing this. I continue to stroke him as I lick the head. "Stan…" moans Kyle as he bucks his hips. "That's good….hahh…..so good." I feel my dick twitch inside my pants.

"Really?" I ask pulling away. Kyle looks down at me nodding his head yes. I lean forward licking his crown once more

"Ohhhh…"he moans arching his back slightly. I begin to stroke him as I continue to tease him. "You're amazing Stan….so amazing…"

"Nnngghh…"I moan around his length feeling very turned on. I like him telling me how good I'm doing. With it being my first time it nice to get kind feedback. I want Kyle to feel good. Kyle looks down at me rolling his hips lightly.

"Haaa…tighter…"he moans. He pants for a moment before continuing. "Tighten your mouth….ahhh…" I follow Kyle's instructions keeping to the same pace. "Shit…perfect….nngghhhh…."

"Mmmppphhh…"I moan feeling my dick twitch again. Kyle eyes widen slightly as he looks down at me. He slides his hands into my hair.

"Y-you're doing so well…."he whines. "Oh god…..keep going…."

"Gggnnnhh…"I groan around his length actually wanting to touch myself. I wonder how much of him I can get into my mouth. I swallow more of the head and I feel Kyle body jerk slightly.

"Fuck…uggghhh…hahh….hahh…"cries Kyle. "Oh my god….haa…ha….oh my god…..ahhh" I continue to move my hand as I suck on his head as this method seems to be working. I keep everything tight as Kyle instructed. He starts to thrust his hips towards my face pushing his dick deeper down my throat. "I'm going…..ahhh…..going to cum…..hahh…."

"Mmmpphhh…"I moan with my mouth full of Kyle's dick. My dick feels harder than I was previously.

"Ohhh…..ohhhh….aarrgghhh….." moans Kyle as his hands begin to lightly grip my hair. He starts gasping for air as I begin to feel his semen fill my mouth. "Aaagghhh….ahh…ah…" I'm glad he warned me because it felt like he had a lot of cum. I hold it in my mouth until he is done riding his orgasm. I pull away grabbing a napkin off my nightstand. I spit quickly into the napkin tossing it in the trashcan beside my nightstand. I look at Kyle as he still seems to be recovering. Face red, chest heaving as if he is learning to breathe for the first time. He finally opens his eyes locking contact with me. I blush thinking about what I just did, I sucked Kyle's dick. He came in my mouth. He looks like he wants to fuck me. I'm sure that is the face he is giving me. "Come here…."

I crawl over to Kyle with him grabbing my hard dick into his hand through my pants. He lightly strokes my dick causing me to move forward. I'm leaning over him panting as he continues to stroke my dick. "Haa…..mmm…" He is just stroking me on top of my sweats. We aren't even skin to skin yet.

"Can you lay down?" Kyle instructs after a bit. "I want you to be comfortable." I look down at Kyle trying to swallow my fear. This is not a surprise for me, I know he is going to suck me off. Kyle slides my sweats down enough to pull my dick free from its cage.

My cock twitched in excitement seeing the way Kyle looks at me. He lowers his eyes and head kissing my stomach softly.

"Ky…"I moan lowly. I think he heard me because he grunts slightly before kissing my abs on the way down. I feel like I can't handle watching him do this but I can't look away. My breathing becomes a little shorter the lower he goes. Kyle reaches his destination. He slowly takes my dick into his mouth not even starting with a lick. I moan instantly because his mouth is so warm.

"Hahhh…..ahhh…"I moan. I have never had a blow job. I didn't know it felt like this, so warm, so inviting. I watch as Kyle moves his head up and down switching his movement from fast to slow. What I like most is how his hands move over my hips as he sucks my dick. It provides me comfort and pleasure rolled into one. I start to thrust my hips into his mouth matching his rhythm.

"Ggaannhh…"groans Kyle around my length. I thrust my hips once more panting heavily.

"Ohhhh…..nnnggghh…." I moan with my movement catching me off guard. I wanted to relax. Enjoy the pleasure that Kyle is providing me but my body has other plans. "Oh fuck…ahhhh…haaa…Kyleee….hahhh…." I don't know what he is doing but I don't want him to stop. I recognize the feeling of my orgasm building up. I'm trying to control my breathing as I begin to squirm lightly. I'm not ready yet, I want this last a little bit longer. Kyle pulls his mouth of my dick looking up at me.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly. I swallow hard through my panting.

"Yes….yes…"I whimper. "It feels so good." Kyle wraps his right hand around my dick and begins to stroke slowly. He looks so comfortable doing this. No nerviness to his movements at all.

"I'm glad," replies Kyle glaring into my eyes. "I want you to feel as good as you made me." He leans back down taking my dick to the back of his throat shocking my body.

"Shit….ahhh…"I cry as my hips begin to dive into his mouth.

"Hmm….hmmm…"hums Kyle.

"Ky…..oh god….haaa…."I cry. My lower body starts to become warm. The tingling has my eyes flutters. I arch my back trying to fight off my climax. My body has other plans. I don't even have time to warn Kyle as I start cum. I arch my back into the orgasm moaning louder than I intended gripping my sheets. "Aaarrggghhh…haaa….haaa….." This orgasm has me seeing stars as I pump my dick into Kyle's mouth filling it with cum. "Ahhh….haa…"

"Mmmpphhh…" he moans. I groan with my eyes closing unable to handle the visual of Kyle with his lips around my dick. I pant heavily as I feel the bed shift cool air hitting my dick. I open my eyes looking to my left with Kyle is staring at me.

"Wait, did you swallow?" I ask in shock.

"Yeah," he replied casually. "I don't mind it though."

"I'm sorry I didn't warn you…"I mutter. "It caught me off guard."

"It's okay," he smiled looking at me. I find myself being pulled into him again. I kiss Kyle not caring that we were just blowing each other. Kyle being the clean guy he is surprises me with a kiss back. "Ahhh…ha….." he moans into my mouth. Kyle pulls back enough to talk laying his forehead against mine. "What's happening with us Stan?"

"I don't know but I like it…" I whisper.


	17. Chapter 17

KYLE

I wake up feeling so refreshed, not that I shouldn't already know why that is. I glance at Stan to my right who is still sleep. I run my hand through his hair softly as I stare at him. I feel like I'm getting my best friend back, maybe more. I get up heading into the hall to use the bathroom. I can smell the breakfast being cooked downstairs and I'm sure Mr. Marsh has front row seats at the table. I come out of the bathroom running right into Shelly. Her hair is super messy but she is in her long sleep tee shirt. Maybe she is just a wild sleeper because she looks like she got into a fight.

"Hey," she said once she got closer.

"Yeah," I reply wondering what she has to say.

"You and my brother a thing?" she asked. I'm blushing because I think we are certainly headed in that direction.

"No," I reply. "We're just friends, getting to know each other and everything."

"Oh….." she said raising her eyebrows. "I didn't know friends moan of sexual pleasure in the wee hours of the morning." I can feel the heat on my face as I try to think of something to say.

"Stan stubbed a toe!" I lie weakly. Shelly laughs.

"I don't care," she snorts. "I'm glad he is getting out and doing normal stuff now. Well, let me get to it. I'm so dying for a shower." Shelly goes into the bathroom ending the conversation. That just happened. I take a deep breath as I head back into the room noticing Stan is awake. He is laying there with his eyes open. I swallow the nerves that I feel.

"Morning," I greet walking over to the bed.

"Hey," he said looking up at me as I sit down on the bed close to him. "Mom is cooking. God, she is super excited you stayed over last night." He chuckles. "She cooks breakfast in the morning when she is really happy."

"She has a lot to be happy about," I reply. "You want to head downstairs while it is still hot?"

"I guess so," he replied sitting up. "I hope dad hasn't eaten it all." I laugh standing up. Stan and I head downstairs more than ready to eat. His mom is smiling and full of life. During the meal, she asked how the rest of our night? When would I be staying over again? How is school? How is Ike? Can I help Stan to be serious about college? The thing about this I think he is coming around regarding college. He just needs to find something he really wants to do. I have inquired about it much since my main focus was to get him to pass his math class. However, writing seems to be his passion. I might be able to find a way to make that work for him.

I just finished getting dressed. I'm about to head over Kenny's, we have a lot to talk about. Stan walks over to me as I'm putting my wallet in my jeans.

"Next weekend we are going to the arcade with Kenny?" he asks.

"Yes! You need to see the new games they have out," I replied. "Plus, the arcade tends to have the classics as well."

"I trust you," said Stan. "I can walk you to the door."

"Okay," I replied. We head down the stairs with me beating him to the door.

"Can I take your picture?" asks Stan lowly. Y-you know to have in my phone." I chuckle lowly because he sounds so cute. Stan takes several photos of me before he finally has one he likes. "Do you want one of me?"

"Dude, seriously?" I laugh. "I would love to have a picture of you." Stan actually poses a few different times. All the pictures I get are good but I want him to smile. "Um not to be picky but can I get smile, just one!" Stan nods smiling. I waste no time getting the picture. "Thank you, I had a good time," I smile feeling like we went on a date instead of playing catch up. "I look forward to seeing you next weekend."

"Uh huh," he hummed. "I will see you on Thursday for tutoring."

"My place or yours?" I ask.

"Yours this time," he replied shoving his hands in his sweatpants pockets. "I will talk to you later."

"Later," I reply. Stan grabs my hand pulling me in for a kiss on the cheek. I smile as I let go of his hand although I don't want to. I almost want to go back to Stan's room and have sex. I don't think he is ready for that yet. I get focused leaving Stan's to Kenny's house. I pull out my phone calling him. I hear Kenny groan into the phone. "Kenny, I will be there in 15 minutes so get dressed."

"How do you know I naked?" he groans.

"Kenny, you're always naked," I state continuing down the street.

"You know me so well," he chuckles. "Man, what time is it?"

"It's almost 11," I reply.

"Shit, I have to be to work at 3 this afternoon,"

"No need to panic, you got time to kill before then," I explain. "I will not take up too much of your time."

"So you say now," replied Kenny.

"Whatever, I will see you soon," I end the call putting the phone in my front pocket. I start to think about last nights events. I have to say things are going really well. Granted we should have been getting to know other mentally and not sexually I still enjoyed it. Stan is….I don't know the word for it. He is almost Stan again, deep down this makes me feel like I got a piece of me back. I wipe the sweat from my forehead as I finally arrive at the McCormick's. I knock on the door waiting to see who answers today. The door swings open for me to be greet by Kevin.

"Hey, I'm here to see Kenny," I announce walking into the house.

"You know where he is," said Kevin closing the door behind me. He goes to sit on the worn-down plaid sofa. This house hasn't changed one bit. It still looks as run down as ever. I walk up the narrow stairway to Kenny's room. I knock on his door not in the mood for any surprises.

"You're good," said Kenny opening the door.

"Wasn't sure if you had company," I reply walking into his room that smells of weed and alcohol. His room is small and would be cramped if he had a lot of stuff most kids our age has but he doesn't.

"What's going on?" he asked looking me over from head to toe. "Wow, your hair."

"I know, I don't have any product in it so it is taking on a life of its own," I explain touching my hair that is flying everywhere. Combing it would make it worse so I decided to not touch it until I get home. "I wanted to tell you to clear your schedule this upcoming Saturday, we're hanging out with Stan."

"What!" he exclaims. "Really?"

"Yes," I chuckle. "I think I'm really getting him back to himself whatever that is. I have to tell you about yesterday." I walk over to sit down on Kenny's bed as he follows sitting beside me.

"Please do go on," smiled Kenny looking like he already knows what happened. "Although the color of your cheeks is giving you away."

"Shut up," I laugh pushing him playful. I look down for a moment. I look back up when I'm ready to continue. "Stan made the offer for me to get to know him again. We went to Stark Pond, got caught up on what we missed over the past few years. Fooling around we fell in the pond…

"How the hell did that happen?" asked Kenny looking confused but interested.

"I don't know but it happened," I lied. I don't want Kenny to know I can't hold my balance. Sure, I can be clumsy but not that clumsy. "In Stan's case, he slipped on the rocks trying to help me after I accidentally fell in." Kenny starts to laugh.

"This would only happen to you guys I swear," he says in between chuckles.

"That is what I'm saying," I laugh lightly. "It was an accident and he felt really bad about it," I remember Stan standing there, dripping wet, white tee, hard nipples. I cover my face for a moment before continuing. "Went to his house because he wanted to wash our clothes. I can't believe he stopped watching Terrence and Phillip."

"I can," said Kenny leaning against his wall. "I mean he forgot about everything it seems when he went dark." I shake my head remembering how he was when we first started torturing months ago.

"Well I had him watching Terrence and Phillip and Thor," I reply. "Anything remotely fun he missed out on."

"No doubt…" said Kenny. "So did you guys fuck?"

"What!" I exclaim. "No! We got rather close….did some other things."

"Finally!" exclaimed Kenny. "I thought this day would never come."

"What are you talking about?" I asked trying not to get annoyed. "It just happened."

"Just happened my ass," he snorts. "I don't care, I'm happy for you. I mean you two should just start dating already."

"I want to get to know him first before taking that step," I reply.

"You sound stupid Kyle, says Kenny not holding back. "You're going to love Stan no matter what. Besides you guys have already started fooling around." He has a good point. I'm not the kind of person to just lay down for anybody. I close my eyes for a moment because I do love Stan. He was my best friend how can I not.

"I spent the night over there," I admit. Kenny sits forward a bit.

"You two slept in the same bed!"

"Yeah, that is what lead to the blow job," I explain. Kenny is grinning.

"I'm so proud of you," he smiled hugging me.

"Kenny, stop it," I say pushing him off of me. "It's no big deal."

"Majorly big deal," he said pulling back to look at me. "I couldn't even get you to suck my dick." I slap his arm playfully. "This was your first time doing it though."

"You know it was," I smile. I can't help it as I replay the way Stan felt inside my mouth, those beautiful sounds coming from his mouth. "I think I did okay…I mean he did reach his peak pretty quickly."

"Nice," smiled Kenny leaning forward. "So did he do you or what?"

"You're way too excited about this," I reply.

"How can I not!" he exclaimed. "You're finally going to get laid."

"That is not my focus," I replied. "I mean having sex with Stan would be nice." I sigh thinking about Ike. Shit, I hope mom didn't tell him where I was. I don't want to say anything about Stan unless I have to.

"Does he look good naked?"

"Kenny….."

"What I am curious, Stan is kind of cute," he says casually. That he is. "So how was he?" I blush thinking about Stan going down on me.

"He actually made the first move," I reply.

"Did he now?" asked Kenny. I nod my head yes.

"He kissed me while I was sleeping," I explain. "It was light but I felt it. It felt so good. If it was anyone else I would have freaked out. I wanted him to keep kissing me but he stopped." I stop talking for a moment. "I grabbed him, we started making out. He surprised me when he went down on me."

"I guess so," replies Kenny. "Sounds like the chemistry was right."

"It was," I reply. "It's why I kind of went with the flow of things. Stan seemed to be getting turned on from my feedback."

"What!" exclaims Kenny. "Let me find out Stan has a praise kink."

"I've said too much," I reply blushing. Kenny chuckles as I continue to blush. "I'm trying to figure out how to handle Ike,"

"Oh that….." says Kenny rolling his eyes.

"Yeah I mean we don't talk often but he is still my little brother and I don't want to hurt him." Kenny put his hand on my knee.

"Ike is young, he will bounce back," he says softly. "I'm sure he will forgive you too. It may take time but he will move on. Besides, he is too young to be dating Stan anyway."

"I agree but the way he looked at him, talked about him….." I say slowly. "I feel like it's my fault although Stan said he was not interested in him."

"That's good to know," replied Kenny. Kenny goes quiet for a moment thinking. "I hope I don't feel like a 3rd wheel this upcoming Saturday. You think Cartman would want to come?"

"I doubt he could take his head out of Heidi's ass long enough," I replied standing up. "For the record don't tell anyone about what happened between Stan and I. He has some serious trust issues. I don't want to lose him before I get him back."

"I completely understand," replied Kenny.

"I will let you enjoy the rest of your day before work and I'm going to get home and take a much needed shower." I stand up looking down at Kenny.

"You're not that dirty," stated Kenny standing up.

"According to your standards," I laugh. "I'll let myself out, I will see you later."

"Cool," said Kenny. I give him a quick hug before closing his room door. I walk past Kevin on the sofa who looks like he is on the verge of passing out. Not sure if it is because he is drunk or high but whatever he had it is surely put him on his ass. I walk home thinking about how things are going to be from now on. I know I want to be more than friends at this point but Stan is not ready for that type of commitment. He still seems just a little unstable.

I get home and mom is sitting in front of the TV with dad. She immediately starts asks questions.

"Kyle, I didn't know you are Stan were friends?" she says first.

"We have been talking for a couple of months," I reply. "Studying and all that." I'm sure Ike is locked away in his room but I still look around anyway paranoid he will hear.

"That's good," replied dad. "Stan could use a friend like you. His dad was getting really worried about him." I wonder if my parents know he was on depression meds too. I'm not going to bring up though.

"Well glad to help out," I replied. "Anything else before I go to my room? I got some stuff to do."

"Did you have a good time?" asked mom.

"Yeah I did," I replied without having to think about it.

"Great," smiled mom. "Your brother stayed the night over his friend's house, Michael I think….he isn't back yet. Speaking of which I should call him to make sure he is okay. He seemed so down last night. That is the only reason I allowed him to go out."

"He just wanted to get out of the house I'm sure," I replied knowing that was half the reason. "Ike is really close to his friends, I know it wears down on him that they don't go to the same school." Mom pursed her lips together.

"Hmmm…" she said. "You can go do what you were planning to. We can talk later." I run up the stairs thankful Ike wasn't home to overhear anything but I can't keep this up forever. At least it seems like mom might actually give him a little breathing room. I may have taken away his love interest in his eyes but at least I can help him with mom.


	18. Chapter 18

STAN

It has been hard to listen to my friends this week. I was too busy thinking about Kyle. I kept wondering what is he doing right now? Is he thinking about me? He would text me to see how I'm doing but that was about it. We had such a great time on Saturday I thought he would be texting me more. I could text him but I don't want to come as emotionally needy. I'm headed to his house for our tutoring session. Today I wearing black shorts, white tee, black short sleeve button down. It's a lot of layers but it works since it is not hot yet. The spring here in Colorado can be pretty bipolar. Kyle opens the door giving me a small smile.

"Hey dude," he greets.

"Hey," I say walking into the house.

"You know we could have ridden here together," he replied. We saw each other towards the end of the day. Instead of offering him a ride I was too busy smoking with my friends.

"I know but I didn't want to stop you from your prep work," I reply. "Besides I had to see my friends before heading here." Kyle sniffs me.

"Smoking more like it," he replied walking towards the stairs. "You should really stop smoking. It's bad for you." Kyle walks the stairs with me close behind.

"I have only been doing it for 5 years," I replied. "Smoking is not so bad, it helps me when I'm depressed or stressed out." Kyle gets to his room opening the door.

"Are you telling me that you're stressed?" he asked.

"A little….." I admit walking into his room. He has the study items set up at his desk. I work best sitting on the bed but since this is Kyle's room, Kyle's rules.

"What's going on?" he asked closing the door. He looks so cute in his green tee shirt with green plaid pants. He didn't have that on earlier at school so I know these are his relaxed clothes. I swear he always has to match no matter what. I'm trying to decide if I should tell him how I feel. Kyle doesn't owe me anything. He has done more than enough with the tutoring alone. I don't want to mess anything up. I stand there looking down. I look up but I close my eyes to be able to speak.

"How come you haven't really been texting me?" I ask trying to keep my voice even. "I'm not trying to sound whiney or whatever but I felt like with how close we got this past weekend….I don't know but I expected more from you."

"Oh…" says Kyle causing me to open my eyes. His tone doesn't sound mad but calm. "I'm sorry I know you were with your friends. I didn't want to blow your phone up with messages." He chuckles. "I was dying to text you, hell even call you but I wanted to give you some space." I smile because this is the Kyle I know and love with all of my heart. He walks closer to me looking into my eyes. "Feel better?"

"Almost….." I reply. I lean down slightly pressing my lips against his. I have missed him so much. It has only been 5 days since we were last alone. Seeing him in school in passing is not the same. I palm his face because I don't want him to pull away from me. I quickly realize he has no intention of doing so.

"Stan…" he mutters into the kiss. I love hearing him say my name. Everyone else can still call me Raven but not Kyle. I can feel myself get hard as a reaction to him saying my name. I'm not sure if it is funny or sad that I got hard from him saying my name. I tried to stay in control of my body but that is not working well.

"Hmmm…" I mumble into the kiss as my hands drop to his waist.

"You have work to do…" he says against my lips. "I need to go over your notes for this week."

"We can do that in a minute….." I reply. "I just want to do this right now." Kyle laughs against my lips.

"You want to make out?" he asks. I didn't even think of this as us making out. I just wanted to touch him, kiss him, hear those cute little moans that bring me life.

"Just for a little bit…" I pout with red cheeks. "Then we can do the uh school stuff."

"Promise?" asked Kyle.

"I promise," I reply liking the idea of him giving in. Kyle starts to kiss me again not asking anything further. I can feel his soft hands exploring my back as we continue to kiss. I reach down grabbing his ass causing him to moan. Man, should his ass be that soft? My hands begin to caress and squeeze his ass while my tongue explores the inside of his mouth.

"Aaarrgghhh…" moans Kyle. Shit, I stop kissing Kyle so I can look at him. He stares back at me. I bring my lips to his once more like I need air. He is lucky I haven't taken him over to the bed. I don't want to because if I do I will surely want to bury myself between his legs. Kyle moans as I continue to grope him. "Stan, we need to haaaaa…" he moans. I know he is right, we need to stop at some point. I understood this week's material in class okay. I know I will get it even more after Kyle explains it. He is so hard now. It's easier to feel him because of his pants the material is not forgiving.

"I know…." I pant. "Just a little more…." I start to kiss him again continuing to rub all over his body. I can't help as I give in as I allow my hand to slide down touching his cock.

"Please Stan….oh god…nnngghhh….." he begs. I'm not sure if he is begging me to stop or to keep going. I begin to move my hand over his dick print. He starts to shiver slightly. I watch as his eyes roll a little. "Stan…we have…oh fuck….ahhhh….we have work to do…haaa…..."

"Tell me you want me to stop…." I whisper to him. I know I promised him but my own dick has different plans. I lick the side of his neck feeling his knees buckle. I'm holding him with my left arm wrapped around his waist to prevent him from falling. I continue to suck on his neck stroke him slowly outside his shorts. I decide to tease him a bit by speeding up.

"Uuugghhh…." moaned Kyle. Kyle starts to thrust his hips into my hand whimpering. I slide my hand in through the slit in his PJ pants. I take his warm cock into my hand rubbing my thumb over his slit that is starting to leak. Wow is he about to cum? "S-stop please." I pull back looking at Kyle and his eyes are barely open. I'm guessing it was really hard for him to talk. I pull away grabbing a tissue off his nightstand. I shake my head as I wipe my finger down. I want to have sex with Kyle. That is nothing like making out or little cheek kisses this is serious. I doubt he will pull a Wendy but what if he does. I make my way to the desk sitting down digging into my bag for my class notes.

"Here are my notes from class," I reply trying to hand him my notes but to notice he is not there. I look behind me noticing Kyle is on his knees on the floor. I begin to worry. "Kyle!" I run over to him kneeing on the floor. I look at him realizing he is grabbing his dick. "Kyle….."

"I..I…I need a minute, " he says shakily. I touch Kyle's face leaning my head against his.

"Sorry," I apologize. "I didn't mean to get you so…..turned on." We both chuckle nervously.

"It's okay," he admits. "I just need a minute to calm down."

"You know Kyle," I say making eye contact. "You're one big distraction." Kyle stands up blushing.

"Don't say that," he laughs. I admit I do feel better despite we only made out for a short period of time. I take a deep breath. "Let's get this over with. I forgot to ask what time you need to be home?"

"I told my mom I was coming over here," I explained taking my seat. "She was so thrilled she said I can stay until 10 since I can drive home."

"Drive, you're right down the street," chuckles Kyle.

"You trying to make me feel bad," I laugh.

"Not at all," he replied. He sits down in the chair next to me grabbing my notes. "We are going to go over these. Then you're going to watch some Terrence and Phillip."

"How long have you been planning this?" I asked.

"Just a few days….." he smirks. Kyle goes over the notes with me. He even writes a few problems for me to work out to ensure I fully understand what he explained. I was almost done with my problems when his mom walks into the room.

"Hi boobie," she says before smiling. "Stan it is so nice to see you."

"Hi," I say shyly as I wave my hand. She looks at the work on the desk.

"How is the study session going?"

"It's going good," said Kyle. "Is it okay if Stan stays for dinner?"

"He sure can," she replied. "Where is your brother?"

"I don't know," replied Kyle like he doesn't care to know where Ike is.

"He was with our friends," I reply. "The last time I saw him that is. That was about almost two hours ago."

"I sent him a text," she says thinking. "I hope he didn't let his phone die. I was nice enough to let him loose this afternoon and this is what I get. Stan would you mind calling him or one of your little friends."

"Uh sure…" I reply pulling out my phone. God this is beyond awkward.

"Tell him to come home please," she said. "I will speak to him when he gets here." The tone of voice she had let me know he was going to get a good mouth full from her. I call him instead of texting. I'm surprised he answers.


	19. Chapter 19

STAN

"Raven, what's up?" asks Ike. "You barely call me like ever." I clear my throat feeling bad about that. I'm more nervous about the reason I'm calling.

"Ike, your mom wants you to come home now," I explain.

"Pssssttt, how would you know?" he snorts.

"Because I'm here studying and she asked me to call you," I reply. "Like seriously you need to get your ass here. She sounded almost mad." Ike groans.

"I will get there when I get there, especially if I have to listen to her bitch at me," he snaps.

"I don't think that is a good idea….." I warn him.

"Whatever, why are you studying at the house?" he asks. I must remember my friends never go to the library. Ike doesn't even go to our school. They don't know about the remodel.

"School library is shut down," I explain. "Seriously you need to be on your way now. I don't want your mom coming back in here."

"What am I getting out of this?" he asked.

"I'm staying for dinner," I reply because it is true. I'm staying for dinner but only because Kyle asked. He certainly doesn't need to know the last tad bit.

"Hmmm okay," said Ike. I have never seen him agree to anything so quickly without a fight. "I'm on my way."

"Cool," I replied ending the call. I can feel Kyle staring into me. "He is on his way." I don't look up because Kyle is seriously giving me his mom's attitude vibes.

"So he ignored mom calling him is what you're telling me," said Kyle agitated. "I'm trying to be patient with him but he is pushing it." I decide not say anything further because I know Ike much better than them at this point. He has a love-hate with his family. I don't really know where his hatred came from. I'm guessing because his parents put so much pressure on him. Kyle has always handled their demands well but Ike couldn't handle it. His way of dealing with is by hanging out with our friends.

Kyle looks over my problems and I solved them all correctly. I'm happy because I'm looking forward to relaxing for the evening and maybe just relaxing with Kyle. He goes to grab a DVD off his shelf. I look closely at his bookcase realizing he has a lot of DVDs. Kyle puts the DVD in the player. He turns around smiling at me.

"I have all of them on DVD," he explained. "Just like The Simpson's I don't think they will ever stream Terrence and Phillip." I giggle and this causes him to glance at me amused. I can tell he is super excited. "I'm not sure how much you remember from Terrance and Phillip so we are starting from season one."

"I remember most of it," I reply. "We watched the show every day."

"Just in case you don't we're still watching them all," I laugh knowing he is not going to give up. I slide out of my shoes and get on the bed with Kyle. He sits between my legs laying on back on my chest as I lean against his head board. I can't help but wrap my arms around him, I'm liking this.

"Kyle," I say softly.

"Yeah," he says holding on to my hands looking up at me. I begin to feel nervous looking into his eyes. I close my eyes as this helps to calm me.

"Will you…..be my boyfriend?" I ask quietly. I open my eyes feeling Kyle's lips on my hand.

"Yes," he replies looking up at me. He chuckles lightly. "I wanted to ask you but I wasn't sure if you were ready." I love him. I don't care what anyone says. I lean my head into his hair easily due to our position. He is so accepting of me in every way. I should have never stopped talking to him.

"I'm ready," I reply. "Thank you." Kyle turns his face into my chest nodding yes. I hold him just a little tighter as he presses play on the show. It is interesting watching the first Terrence and Phillip episode. It is bringing back so many memories. We're smiling and laughing well into the 2nd episode when we hear knock on the door. Kyle immediately sits up moving away from me sitting on the edge of his bed facing the door. "Yeah,"

Ike opens the door walking in. "Kyle, Raven I'm here to save you," he says aggressively before looking down at his feet. "I know things haven't been the greatest between us but I'm sure you want out of here." I don't even know what to say. I want to stay with Kyle but what if Ike tells the rest of our... "Is that Terrance and Phillip?"

"Yes," replied Kyle. "I was watching it and you're interrupting his study time." Wow, Kyle is covering for me.

"Maybe I can help you study," suggest Ike looking at me. He completely ignored Kyle.

"Ike you barely do your own math," drones Kyle. "How are you going to help Stan."

"His name is Raven," Ike snarls balling up his fist.

"I don't care!" snapped Kyle standing up bawling up his fist matching Ike's anger. "Get out of my room."

"I don't have to leave if I don't want to," Ike replies. Kyle walks over to Ike so fast that I almost missed it. Kyle leans down close to Ike's face.

"I swear to god I will tell mom how you sneak out of the house," he growled. I decide to interfere because this is going to get ugly.

"Ike I'm studying for my finals but it is easier to have my tutor close by…"

"I will tell mom about your hickey!" hissed Ike.

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Kyle. Ike laughs.

"You suck," he replies. "Literally." He laughs as I look at Kyle. He goes to look in the mirror on his closet door. Sure enough, I left a hickey between his neck and shoulder. The only reason it is showing is that his shirt collar shifted. I didn't think I was sucking that damn hard. "You want to tell your little boyfriend to be more careful. You know how mom is." Kyle subconsciously adjusted his shirt at the mention of his mom. I'm focused on not blushing giving myself away.

"Ike I will talk to you later before I leave okay," I tell him knowing this would make him leave.

"Cool, see you at dinner," he walks out closing the door. "Don't work too hard." Kyle turns to look at me. He looks hurt.

"What's wrong?" I ask swinging my feet over the bed.

"I just….ughhh….." he cries in frustration. "I can't talk about it right now. Ike and all…"

"Oh…" I reply. "Thanks for reminding him I need to study." I know it is just cover since we're done for the evening. "And sorry for that." Kyle goes back to the mirror shifting his shirt to look at the hickey. It is pretty big. It doesn't look anything like a bug bite. It is also a perfect oval shape of my mouth.

"Don't worry about it," he sighed. "It was bound to happen sooner or later." He gets onto the bed grabbing the remote. "You remember this episode, right?"

"Yeah,"

"Good because I'm not rewinding it," I can't help but notice he sounds upset. I didn't mean to leave a hickey. I get comfortable on his bed trying not to let the guilt get to me. We get in a few more episodes before we head downstairs to eat with the family. I join them at the oval-shaped dining table sitting next to Ike and across for Kyle.

"Stan," smiled Mr. Broflovski. "It's nice to see you join us for dinner for a change." Ike gives his dad a glare. "You two are always shut away. Makes me wonder do you really eat."

"Yes dad," droned Ike. "We eat, we're eating now." Mrs. Broflovski joins us at the table.

"What are you and Kyle studying?" she asked.

"Geometry….." I mumbled not wanting to really talk. I'm not in the mood to talk. I just want to go home at this point. Ike and Kyle both sense my discomfort.

"I'm just glad we're almost done with high school," states Kyle as he adds a seasoned chicken leg quarter to his plate.

"You decided on a University correct?" asked Mr. Broflovski. I didn't know Kyle had picked a school. Knowing he would choose a University kind of makes me sad. I can only afford to go to a community college.

"It's only the one in Denver so it's not a big deal," said Kyle looking at me. He then shifts his eyes to his father. "They had the program that I'm interested in. The teaching program there is excellent. I should be receiving the catalog soon so I can elect my classes."

"Stan, what are you going to school for?" asked Mr. Broflovski. I'm at a loss for words.

"He's going to school to be a writer," said Ike speaking up for me.

"Yeah," I add in. "It's for writing."

"Writing…..hmmm," he said. "It almost feels like that is a dying art." I feel myself start to smile as the chicken plate makes it way in front of me.

"I like to do poetry mostly but I'm known to write short stories from time to time."

"I didn't know you write short stories," said Kyle.

"I have only been doing it for the last 3 years," I explain. "It's more challenging than writing poetry."

"There are excellent," smiled Ike. "I have read most of them." His bragging did not go unnoticed by me. I can see Kyle narrowing his eyes at him. I reach my foot under the table touching his hoping it calms him down. His immediately relaxes when he feels my foot.

The remainder of the dinner was uneventful. There was a lot of talk about school and the future which is weighing down on me. I already have to look for a job, select my classes, then my friends want to get a place together. So much pressure and stress. We finish dinner and Kyle was asked to help his mom with the dishes. I watch Kyle adjust his collar as he goes into the kitchen.

"You getting ready to head out Raven?" asked Ike.

"Not yet but soon," I reply. "I need to get my things out of Kyle's room."

"We can do that now," he suggests.

"I don't think Kyle would like us in his room when he is not there," I reply to keep from being alone with Ike.

"Who cares….." said Ike pulling me towards the stairs. "It's not like we're snooping through his shit." I follow Ike up the stairs. He walks straight into Kyle's room as I walk over and start packing up my notes.

"I'm glad you won't have to do this much longer," says Ike leaning against Kyle's desk.

"Do what?" I ask putting my backpack on one shoulder.

"Spend so much time with Kyle," he admits looking at me. "I hate it."

"Ike we talked about this…"

"I know there is nothing between you and Kyle but I still hate it," he pouts. "I don't like the way he looks at you at either. Like he is all in love or something. Doesn't matter you would probably break his heart anyway."

"That's not true!" I exclaim. Ike looks at me like I lost my mind. "I mean I have had my heart broken. I wouldn't wish that on anyone including Kyle.

"Were you not thinking about that when you turned me down," said Ike with his eyes burning into me. Ike walks out of Kyle's room.

"It's not like we were dating," I replied following him down the hall to his room. "I'm just not interested in you like that Ike. You are literally like a little brother." Ike closes his room door. He never leaves it open.

"Why?" he asked turning to face me. "I just don't understand why. I totally get you, you're like my soulmate." Ike grabs my hand but I pull away immediately.

"I understand how you feel but I don't feel that way," I say sternly. "I'm sorry I know this hurts and everything…"

"You kissed me back!" he exclaims. "Why would you do that if you didn't like me. Don't try to feed me the I was horny bullshit because I know you're not like that. You need emotional connection." Damn if this kid doesn't know me. I can't tell him I kissed him back slightly because I was dreaming about his brother, it will destroy him.

"It was an honest mistake," I reply. "I have to get going, anything else?"

"Yeah," smirked Ike. He quickly jumps on me pushing his lips against mine. I feel him wrap his arms around my neck. I start to peel him off of me. I didn't know he was this strong. It is seriously a struggle to get him off of me.

"Ike seriously!" I exclaim finally succeeding in peeling him off of me. I bolt for the door not even staying to argue with him. He might try to attack me again. I run into Kyle in the hall. He notices right away that something is wrong. "I can't talk right now, I have to go." I fly down the stairs and out the door. I know I must look like an asshole to Kyle but goddamnit his brother is so…..belligerent. I feel my phone buzz and I pull my phone out before unlocking my car door. I see it's Kyle texting me. He is asking am I okay, not really.

I can't deal with him right now. I shove my phone into my pocket before getting in my car. I take a short drive down the street to the house. I sigh as I get out of the car. At least I know I'm going to pass my class. Now if I could have help on how to deal with Ike and Kyle that would be great.


	20. Chapter 20

KYLE

"Are you sure he is coming?" asked Kenny sitting on the front porch with me.

"Yeah, he is," I replied. I looked at my phone as Stan is 15 minutes late. He has been giving me these one-word text messages. He has been totally weird since Thursday. I can't help him if he won't tell me what's wrong. I will try again today for Kenny's sake. I want everyone to have a good time. I pull out my phone calling Stan. I can hear the phone pick up.

"H-hello….." Stan slurs into the phone.

"Oh my god your drunk?" I state baffled. "Where the hell are you? You're suppose to be meeting me and Kenny at the arcade."

"Oh shit that's today huh…" said Stan pissing me off. We talked about this. Why is he acting like he doesn't remember? I fold my left arm under my right arm that is holding the phone.

"You didn't answer my question," I replied. "Where are you?" I can hear the phone moving around.

"Dropped my phone…" he drunkenly laughed. "I'm at Stark Pond, you know where we had our date." That was not a date, besides the point right now.

"You stay where you are!" I demand. "Kenny and I are coming to get you."

"I want to be 9 again….." slurs Stan. "Before that bitch, everything was so simple so easy." I cover the receiver on the phone.

"Kenny we need to go to Stark pond right now!" I whisper.

"Let's go," he said already in motion to his pick-up.

"Stan where are you at in the park?" I inquired walking behind Kenny. I hear Stan hiccup.

"I'm under the treeeeee…." he sang. "Not far from where we fell in the lake remember."

"You stay away from the water!" I shout. I'm terrified right now. The last thing I need is Stan falling into that pond. I would probably never see him again. Kenny looks really worried as I feel. We reach his truck I cover the phone. "Ken you need to drive as fast as you can please." Ken nods as he starts up the truck. I sit down ready to get to Stan. I'm not getting off the phone with him until he is right in front of me.

"Oh hey guys….." says Stan slowly. Who the fuck is he talking to?

"Raven what the hell," I hear Michael say.

"Oh boy he's gone," said Frikle.

"You need to come with us," said Ike. "We will take good care of you."

"N-no! No!" slurred Stan. "Kyle is coming to get me."

"Kyle?" questioned Henrietta. "Why is he coming to get you?"

"Let's not worry about that," said Ike sounding not too happy to hear my name being brought up. "Let's get him to your room, Henrietta."

"No!" I scream into the phone.

"Kyle says no…" says Stan to his friends.

"I don't give a shit what he says!" snaps Henrietta. I think she takes the phone. "Look Kylie B or whatever the fuck your name is. We will take care of Raven. There is no need for you to come here."

"I'm coming to get my best friend," I say firmly. I don't say Stan is my boyfriend because I'm not sure if he wants them to know.

"Spare me….." said Henrietta. "You and your little friends throw him away. Now think you can walk back into his life. Stick to your little books and leave us alone." She hangs up on me. That bitch!

"That didn't sound good," said Kenny looking at me.

"Step on it!" I demand. "Stan doesn't want to go with them. He needs us right now."

"Are you sure?" asked Kenny.

"I'm pretty positive," I replied pissed off about this whole thing. We arrive just in time as Pete and Michael are struggling to get Stan in the car. Soon as Kenny puts the vehicle in park I'm hoping out. "Let him go!" I'm running over to their car.

"I told you we got this," said Henrietta. "You wasted your time showing up here. Ike you need to learn to control your brother." Ike rolls his eyes.

"Damn it, Raven," hisses Pete. "Stop fighting us." I get closer to the car but Henrietta steps in my path.

"We're not letting you take him," she says.

"Kyle…" says Stan reaching out to me.

"He clearly wants to be with me," I replied. "Get the fuck out of my way." Pete looks up.

"You're not going to talk to my lady like that," he states.

"You need to go back where you came from," said Frikle. Kenny finally appears at my side.

"We're here for Stan and nothing more," said Kenny. "We shouldn't even be fighting over this, it's ridiculous." Stan looks at me through hooded eyes smiling. It reminds me of the one period he got drunk when we were kids. We were not friends at the time but it was really bad. Stan holds his hands out to me. Michael sighs.

"Let's just let him go," groaned Michael. "I don't feel like babysitting a drunk Raven today. It's not every Saturday I'm off."

"Fine," Henrietta bits back. "That is the only reason we're backing down." I ignore her as I go towards Stan.

"You okay?" I asked getting close to him.

"You came to get me….." he smiled. He hiccups as I help him stand.

"Did you drive here Stan?" I ask. He nods. "Give me your keys." He tries but drops them. Kenny bends down to get them for me. I see the goth kids driving by with Pete giveing me the finger from the passenger side of the car

"Man that was crazy…" stated Kenny watching them exit the parking lot.

"Tell me about it," I sighed. I was seriously tempted to knock Henrietta in her face. "I guess we're going to have to reschedule. I'm going to drive Stan home." Stan nuzzles his face into my shoulder. Kenny chuckles.

"He's like a kitten," he said. I roll my eyes thinking don't encourage him, Kenny. "Man I thought the Goths were going to kill us."

"I was not letting them take him," I reply. "I can't let Stan down again." Kenny nods understanding.

"Did Kyle tell you about our date?" asked Stan. Kenny I can tell holds in a laugh.

"No, but he did tell you guys hung out," he replied.

"Hung out….." giggles Stan. "He got off in my mouth."

"Stan!" I exclaim blushing wildly as Kenny bursts out into laughs.

"Oh man drunk Stan is hilarious!" he says in between laughs.

"I'm not drunk!" he defended.

"Well I hope his parents aren't home that's for sure," continued Kenny. "I will let you get to it because Stan is going to be sick as fuck when he comes around." I nod knowing this will be the case.

"You're soooo warm…" sighed Stan. I get to his car getting him safely inside. I wave to Kenny as he pulls out the parking lot before getting behind the wheel. I hated to do it but I had to readjust the seats and the mirrors since Stan is taller than me. I head towards his house which is a short drive. I'm really thankful for that today because Stan was constantly putting his hand on my leg trying to grab my dick while I was driving. I unlock the door to see Shelly coming from the kitchen.

"Holy shit, what happened?" she asked.

"I don't know," I replied. "He called me he was like this." Shelly get close larking over us.

"Something must be wrong," stated Shelly. "He only drinks when he is overwhelmed. It's been years though." Overwhelmed? Is it my fault for trying to get him to hang out with me and Kenny?

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked. Shelly laughed.

"He will be just fine," she waves off. "I'm just glad mom and dad aren't here to see him in this state. They would probably want to put him back on the anti-depressants or worse." Shelly heads up the stairs. I'm right behind her with Stan. I manage to get him into his room. I'm glad he at least didn't blurt anything out embarrassing in front of Shelly. I sit Stan on his bed preparing myself to take care of him.


	21. Chapter 21

KYLE

"I miss you Kyle….." he says.

"Stan I just saw you two days ago," I state as I pull off his shoes and socks. "Do you have any sleeping clothes?"

"I'm sure somewhere in here," said Stan sounding almost like himself. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Alright," I reply reaching to help him stand. He pushes my hand away.

"I don't need your help," said Stan. I watch as he stumbles to the bathroom. I sigh just feeling terrible about everything. Maybe I pushed Stan too hard. I walk over to his draw looking through them to see what is where. It took me a minute since everything here is black or grey. I grab the dark gray sweats and a black tee for him. I set it on the bed so he can see it as soon as he enters the room. I stand there patiently waiting for him to return. I hear my phone ring seeing it is Kenny calling.

"Hey, you okay?" I answer getting straight to the point.

"I'm fine," replied Kenny. "I just wanted to make sure you made it to the house okay."

"Yeah," I sighed. "It was so stressful getting him here. He is almost back to himself though so that's good."

"Man he is really smitten with you, that's for sure," says Kenny. I can feel my cheeks getting warm.

"It's not that big of a deal," I reply trying to down playthings.

"To him it is," replied Kenny. "Are his parents home?"

"No just Shelly," I reply. "She said he does this when he is stressed out. She pointed out this hasn't seen happen in years. I feel like shit because what if I did this to him!"

"Calm down Kyle," says Kenny softly. "You didn't do this. The way Stan was talking about you he wanted to be there today. I'm sure you can figure out what set him off." I look at the door.

"He's been gone a while….." I say lowly but Kenny hears me.

"He is probably throwing up," he suggested. I sit down on Stan's bed running my hand over the black comforter.

"Probably," I sigh. I talk to Kenny for a few more minutes before ending the call to go check up on Stan. He beats me to the punch walking into the room with a towel on shocking me. He looks directly at me as if this is not a big deal.

"What?" he asks. What does he mean what? He was gone for freaking 30 minutes. Then he comes back in with nothing on but a towel. It looks like he took a shower, thank god. The smell of liquor pouring off of him was enough to make me drunk.

"Aren't you smashed?" I ask.

"Was," he drones. He stumbles a little causing his towel to fall. I gulp as I fully take in his body. Seeing him reminds me how handsome he is ripped with muscles. Stan blushes as he picks the towel up. "Sorry didn't mean to flash you." I look down in shame embarrassed that I'm getting turned on by him being in nothing but just a towel. "You can look at me if you want." This causes me to look up at Stan. He removes the towel completely not breaking eye contact with me. I turn my head to the side highly turned on. We have done much worse but for him to be so upfront about it…..I can hear him crossing the floor before I feel his hands on my face turning me to look into his blue eyes. "What's wrong Kyle?"

"You're completely naked…." I noted grabbing the folded clothes I see on his nightstand. I shove them into his chest causing him to let go of my face. "Put them on."

"But I want to make love you," he says bluntly. I stare at him in shock wondering has he completely lost it.

"Stan…"

"Don't you love me?" he asked looking sad suddenly.

"Of course I love you," I admit. "It's just…" Stan presses his lips against mine. I note that he actually seems to have prepared himself for this moment. His breath is fresh, his body is soft from the shower. I find my dick growing hard as I moan into the kiss. "Mmmppphhh….." Stan starts to nuzzle his face into the side my neck before he began sucking on it. "Ahhhh…..ha….." Stan pulls back pulling my tee shirt over my head before undoing my shorts. I can't help but look at him because this is truly the most confident and the most….normal Stan I have seen. Stan wraps his arm around my waist pulling me against his body.

"I have to prepare you," he whispers into my ear. I like the fact he has done research on this. I have been fighting my inner urges for weeks. I want to have sex with Stan.

"Of course you do," I state knowing his dick would not fit inside my small hole. Stan is not the largest but he isn't the smallest either. I remove my boxers wondering if we should be having sex. Stan seems off just a tiny bit. "Are you sure…" He pushes his lips against mine silencing me.

"I love you, Kyle…" he moans against my lips. I shiver from hearing this. This what love is, have I loved Stan this whole time. I recall not being just brokenhearted but devastated when we stopped being friends. If he wanted to be apart of the goth world and he was happier there, I was willing to let him. I now feel confident in moving forward.

"Stan…" I moaned wrapping my arms around his neck kissing him deeply. Stan pushes me back onto the bed before lying on top of me. His dick is just as hard. I moan realizing it is going to be inside of me soon. Instead of being scared or embarrassed I feel an eerie calm. Stan grabs a bottle of lotion from his nightstand. He lotions up his whole hand instead of just a couple of fingers. He giggles when he looks at his hand.

"God I look ridiculous….." he states. I chuckle lowly because he does. He looks at me and I am surprised he seems so relaxed. How did we go from never talking to this, everything is happening so fast. Stan slides his hands between my legs. I can't help but become a little nervous now. This is not some little hand job or blow job, he is going to be inside of me. "Relax….." I feel Stan slide one finger in as he begins to kiss me. I didn't think it would be that easier for him to get his finger in.

"Ahhhhh…" I moan into his mouth as my hands grab on to his shoulders.

"I love hearing you," says Stan lowly. He is causing me to flush. I know there is no way Stan is experienced but has me feeling like the only virgin at this moment. Stan continues to move his fingers slowly. He leans closer rubbing his nose against my mine making me whimper. "Do you feel good?" he pants.

"Yes….hahhh….." I moan. "Stan…..." He kisses me causing me to go silent. I manage to fight off one orgasm while Stan fingered me. I didn't even think I could climax from being fingered but here I was dealing with it. My body started to get hot, my heart pounding harder than anything I ever felt. My legs even started shaking lightly. He was just stretching me and fingering me, I mean what is going to happy when he puts his dick in. Stan continues to stretch me until he thinks I'm ready. I have so many questions that I want to ask him.

"I don't have any protection….." states Stan lowly. "I-I never thought I would be doing something like this….."

"Don't worry about it," I replied a little breathily. "I do in my wallet." Stan climbs away from me stumbling on the floor as he picks up my wallet pulling it out. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I said I was fine," he replied sounding annoyed as he walks back over to the bed. "I just want to love you…" I look down red-faced wildly. He really has a way with words. Stan opens the condom sliding it on before applying lotion top. He is looking down at his dick as if he is not sure if that is what he should be doing. "Are you ready for me?" I nod yes as I lay back on his bed trying to brace myself for what is to come. Stan appears over me smiling. "I dreamed about this so many times….." he confesses.

"You did?" I questioned. I don't know why but this surprises me. He positions himself at my entrance.

"Yeah," said Stan pushing his way halfway inside of me. I let out a cry as I grab his shoulders. "Did I hurt you?" I feel a tear come down my cheek. I tried to hold it in but I couldn't. I take a few deep breaths to calm down as I turn my face away from him. I'm glad he stopped moving though.

"I don't think you're suppose to just ram it in there," I say. It did hurt a lot. Makes me wonder how the hell do other guys deal with this. Like are we doing it wrong? I know I didn't have time to get use to his size at all.

"I'm sorry," apologized Stan leaning down to kiss my cheek. "I never want to hurt you." I turn to kiss Stan. He actually doesn't move and just engages with intimate kissing which I enjoy. I feel ready enough for him to move. I let him know I think I'm ready. Stan rolls his hips this time a little slower. It feels…..okay. I feel like I am enjoying it from a few moments earlier. I glance up at Stan, he appears to be really feeling it. "Ohhhh…you feel soooo good."

"Don't say that…" I mutter feeling more turned on. It wasn't just him saying it but the way his voice sounded. I arch my back now getting use to Stan moving inside of me. He is doing so well but probably him drinking helped with that I'm sure. He continues to move his hips at a good pace. He is not going too fast or too slow. It's starting to feel…..good. "Hahhh…."

"Y-you feel me….mmmm….." moans Stan as he begins to pick up the pace just a little.

"Yesss…..haaa….."I moan as I reach my hand down between us. I began stroking myself. This changes the scale for the amount of pleasure I feeling. "Ahhh…..haa….."

"Aaarrggghh…I-I can't hold out much longer…nnngghhhh" gasps Stan. "You're so wet…..aaahhhh…sucking me in…haahh…." I can hear slick sounds between us now as Stan continues to take me. I have never seen Stan this vocal. Did he have to choose our intimate time to be so vocal? "Ahhhh….fuck…..you're getting tight…..haaahhh…..ha….." Stan's cock seems to be getting warm, bigger. Somehow my body likes this and is responding well. I round my back feeling my climax build within me.

"Ahhhh…..ha….ha….I'm going to cum…..ohhhh…" I manage to say as I continue to stroke myself towards the finish line. Stan starts to thrusts into me harder sending me over the edge. "Arrrgggghhhh…haaa….haaa…"I cry out as my cum hits my stomach and some on my chest from the force. My vision blurred but only for a split second. It returns in time for me to watch as Stan cums.

"Oh god…nnnnnggghhh…" he cries. "Oh, Kyle…..ahhh…..oh Kyle….hahhh….aaarggghhh…" I shiver hearing him say my name in such a manner. Stan's hips slow down with him finally collapsing on top of me breathing hard. I hug him around his waist wanting him to stay right here where we are. He rolls over after a minute or two pulling out of me. I try to move but lack the energy to do so. Stan pulls me close to him nuzzling his face in my hair. "I love you, Kyle." He must really love me, He has said it so many times today. Has he always loved me? I wonder….. It's not long before Stan is snoring, lovely. I feel really tired myself after everything that happened today.

I turn on Stan's TV watching some movies before drifting off myself with him still laying on my chest. I'm into a deep sleep when I hear my phone ring. For a moment I didn't even know it was my phone ringing. It was just so annoying sound that was disturbing my rest. I groan sleepily getting out of the bed and falling to the floor. Man that hurt, I reach into my pants on the floor grabbing my phone.

"Hello…" I say.

"Hello, Kyle,"

"Mom," I say becoming more alert. "Is everything okay?"

"No," she replied sounding upset. "I caught Ike doing drugs! Drugs!" Goddamnit Ike.

"Shelia, it's just weed," says dad in the background.

"He is much too young for that!" screams mom at dad. "Kyle I want you to come home and have a talk with Ike about being responsible. I have already told him but maybe hearing it from his big brother will do some good." I sigh knowing it is not going to change a damn thing.

"I will be right there," I reply standing up.

"Thank you, Kyle. I will see you soon." Mom ends the call. I begin to think how the hell could Ike be so stupid and get caught. He knows how mom is. I rub my backside lightly as I'm a little bit sore but nothing too serious. I glance at Stan in bed as I get dressed. I walk over kissing his cheek.

"I love you too Stan," I say softly. I rub my nose against his cheek before kissing it. I write him a quick note leaving it on his desk because I know he will see it. I head out of the Marshes house quickly making my home not looking forward to talking with Ike. I enter the house I can hear mom talking to dad. It is regarding the drugs I'm sure. They're in the kitchen so I pop in to make my presence known.

"I'm here mom," I announce. "Anything I need to know before heading up."

"He's very upset," said dad.

"He is living in our house, he will have to get over that," said mom almost growling. "He is lucky he was not arrested."

"Arrested?" I question.

"He was walking down the street with his little friends just smoking it up without a care in the world," explains mom. "Honey we're going to have to do something about his attitude and soon." Dad sighs. He thinks Ike is going through growing pains that we shouldn't interfere.

"I'm going to go talk to him now," I state leaving the kitchen. I head upstairs going straight to his room. I knock on the door, he opens it I'm sure expecting it to be mom or dad. I can see him relax. "I was sent in here to talk to you," I walk into his room. Once he closes the door I start to go in. "What the fuck where you thinking! Getting high walking down the street where anyone can see you."

"Aren't you suppose to be with Raven right now?" he asked. "You sure did make a big deal about taking him with you."

"He called me!" I exclaimed. "We're not talking about Stan right now. I was sent in here to encourage you to be a morally upstanding citizen. Listen, Ike, mom is getting tired of your shit. I don't know what she is planning but you better stop fucking up." Ike folds his arms as he plops down on the bed.

"I don't care," he pouts. "Mom can't control me."

"Dude you have 4 more years in this house if not longer," I inform him. "Mom is not asking for much. She just wants you to spend a little more time with her, talk to her and don't get into trouble. It's not that hard."

"Oh, and you're such a good upstanding citizen," snapped Ike. I sigh.

"I didn't come in here to argue with you," I reply folding my arms.

"Message delivered and received," said Ike not looking at me. "Get the fuck out of my room."

"At this point Ike I have done all I can to help you," I replied. "Whatever mom does to you, you got it coming." I leave out of the room not liking his tone. I'm not going to stand there and take his shit if I don't have to. I head into my room gather my items to shower. I smile to myself remembering I had sex with Stan. I wonder how he is going to feel about it once he wakes up.


	22. Chapter 22

STAN

I groan as I move around in bed. I look down realizing that I'm naked. What the hell? I look around the room as I sit up in my bed. I barely remember anything. The last thing I remember was going to Stark pond and getting drunk. I didn't mean to. I'm just so over…everything, I don't know what to do. Ike likes me, I'm dating his brother. I don't know if I can hurt him like Wendy hurt me. I sigh as I shift to move out of bed. I'm just glad the left over alcohol is tainting my breath like it usually does. I grab my phone realizing it is after 10 pm. Jesus, how did I get home. I walk over to my draw grabbing some sweats and a tee. On my way out the door, I see a note from Kyle on my desk.

_Stan,_

_I hope you're not terribly hungover but you seem to come around okay. I'm sorry I had to leave you while you were sleeping. Mom and dad are having an Ike crisis. Text me later dude. We can reschedule the outing with Kenny for another day._

I sigh because I don't know if I can face him. Maybe it's better if we don't date. Who the hell am I kidding. I love him. I run my hands through my hair feeling more stressed than I did earlier today. I head downstairs to get me some water. My body feels heavy as I make my way to the kitchen and back to my room. I see Pete is calling before I can even get comfortable on my bed.

"What," I said picking up.

"I'm just calling to make sure you're alive," huffed Pete.

"You were so wrecked," yells Michael in the background.

"How do you guys know?" I asked.

"Of course, you don't remember," droned Pete. "We found you at Stark pond like wandering around. We tried to take you with us but your fucking tutor was having a fit about it."

"He was being a total asshole!" shouts Henrietta.

"Calm down Henrietta, chill," said Pete. "Yeah, you must have called Kyle because I don't see otherwise why he would show up." I bit my lip hating the fact I need help filling in the blanks.

"We just let him have you," said Michael. "Like he was really being a dick about taking care of you."

"Hold on," said Pete. "Let me just put you on speaker since everyone has something to say."

"Okay…" I sigh with a slight headache coming on.

"You missed Ike's mom freaking out," continued Michael.

"She completely lost it," said Henrietta. "That bitch is looney."

"What the hell happened?" I asked.

"She flipped out over us smoking weed," explained Henrietta. "It's weed, it's not even the good shit. It's basically grass, very very good grass." Henrietta chuckles.

"How did she even find out?" I asked mortified. I can picture his mom yelling him and doing god knows what else.

"We were talking back from the store," explained Michael. "We grabbed some shit for when the munchies hit. She just happened to be driving by. I swear that women have the eyes of an eagle. The weed bud was so small but she saw that shit." I rub my hand over my temples.

"Mad scary," muttered Firkle enough for me to hear him.

"Yeah," agreed Pete. "You haven't gotten trashed since the Shadow reading. This makes time the 2nd time in three months. Like what the fuck is going on Raven?"

"I don't want to talk about it….." I replied.

"Raven," said Henrietta. "I know caring is not our best feature but we don't want to see you spinning out of control like before."

"Anything else?" I asked coldly. "I'm pretty tired."

"Whatever," said Pete. "We'll see you whenever." Pete ends the call and I feel like I can breathe again. I needed to call Kyle and get this over with. I call him, he answers right away.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. I find myself smiling before even saying anything.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized right away.

"Dude you were so gone, how are feeling?" says Kyle. "You were sleeping pretty good when I left."

"Yeah I have a small headache," I admit.

"You seem fine earlier," said Kyle. "I'm just glad you aren't hungover."

"Yeah about that…" I say slowly. "Was I a total asshole? I don't remember anything."

"You're kidding?" questioned Kyle. The line goes silent for a minute before he speaks again. "You were talking to me. You even said you weren't drunk. You don't remember anything!"

"Not past me going to the park and drinking," I say feeling more stupid. "I literally blacked out after my 5th shot." I hear the line go quiet. I take a deep breath. "Kyle I don't think it is a good idea for us to be try dating. I mean I don't think I'm ready for that." More silence.

"Fine," said Kyle. "Lose my number."

"What?" I exclaimed. "I said I didn't want to date. That doesn't mean I don't want to be friends."

"Well I don't want to be friends with you!" screamed Kyle. "I-I…" he stops talking and I can hear him sniffling a little. "How could you Stan." Hearing him say my name with such sadness in his voice is killing me. He sounds like how I did when Wendy broke up with me.

"Dude I'm so sorry…." I say close to my own tears.

"Fuck you," he says before ending the call. I stare at the phone in shock. What the hell? I try calling him back but I keep going straight to voicemail. Did I make the right decision? I don't even know anymore. I care a lot of Kyle but Ike…why did he have to like me. This complicates things so much. I feel really bad. I spend most of the night up since I couldn't go back to sleep due to the long nap I had passed out. The following morning, I was still sleeping when I hear a knock at my door.

"What," I shout sounding tired as I feel.

"Can I come in?" asked mom.

"Yeah," I sigh sitting up with my hair flying all over my head. I see mom peak her head into the room. I know I'm not in trouble because she is smiling.

"I told him you're not awake yet," she stated.

"Kyle!" I exclaim. I'm hoping maybe he isn't really that mad at me.

"No, Kenny," she replies as he comes into view. I'm completely surprised. Kenny walks into the room and I stare on noticing how much he has truly grown. For someone who doesn't have much, he doesn't look like it.

"Thanks, Mrs. Marsh," said Kenny.

"Not a problem," she grinned looking back and forth between us. "You should really cut your hair." Kenny laughs.

"I'm holding to it as long as I can," he replies.

"Let me know if you boys need anything," says mom. "Seriously Kenny, think about it." Kenny nods as she finally leaves my room. Kenny focuses his eyes on me staring intensely.

"I can't believe you're here….." I state. Kenny is actually pretty cute. I wouldn't want to hook up with him or date him but he certainly has this glow about him. He is wearing a white tee and some destroyed jeans with dirty white chucks.

"Me neither….." he said looking around. "I needed to talk to you."

"I'm sorry about ruining us hanging out yesterday," I say making my way towards the end of my bed. "I was just stressed out yesterday, ended up getting completely wasted." Kenny folds his arms.

"That is an understatement," huffs Kenny. "You're lucky I don't kick your ass." I look at him quickly realizing this is not a friendly visit.

"What is your problem?" I ask standing ready for a fight if need be.

"Look, Kyle doesn't know that I'm here," he explains. "You hurt him, man."

"I'm just not sure if I can date him," I mutter. "There is so much going on….."

"Why the hell not! It has to be more than just some bullshit going on," exclaimed Kenny. "Everything was fine. Why are freaking out now?"

"I don't want to talk about it…" I said shifting my eyes away.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me," he says folding his arms leaning against my desk. "I know something is wrong. Like man, Kyle was crying."

"I made him cry?" I ask sadly. I rub my hands over my face because Kyle is the last person I would want to hurt. I would rather not hurt anyone but definitely not Kyle. "I didn't want that."

"So you seriously don't remember having sex with Kyle at all?" asked Kenny.

"What!" I exclaim. I'm letting what he said register a bit more. "Are you sure? I mean…..oh my god….."

"Yeah apparently you guys went all the way yesterday," explained Kenny. "That is why he is so upset." I'm in shock about just everything, I can't even speak. Kenny's face softens. "Shit, you really don't remember."


	23. Chapter 23

STAN

"I would have remembered that….." I say slowly. I'm still in shock. Did I really have sex? "Kenny I have never done it before." Kenny smacks his forehead.

"God," he says. "You're Kyle's first." I feel like shit. I didn't even know Kyle was a virgin. I mean he seems so experienced, so confident.

"Look," says Kenny. "I usually don't like to get in people's business but Kyle is literally my best friend and well you use to be my best friend too. I want to help you man, what's going on? Why are you drinking? Why are you breaking things off with Kyle?" I look at Kenny trying to decide if I should spill my guts to him.

"Why should I really tell you anything?" I ask. "What am I getting out this?"

"I can tell you how Kyle really feels," he replies unfolding his arms. This does capture my attention.

"What do you mean by how he really feels?" I ask sitting forward on my bed.

"Ah..ah…" says Kenny waving his finger. "You first, then we will talk about Kyle." I look at Kenny and he has always been true to his word when we were kids.

"There is so much…."I mutter looking down. "Like when I was at dinner at his house they were talking about Kyle's future. It made me realize I pretty much don't have my shit together at all. I did apply for scholarships Kyle put together for me but I haven't heard back yet. I feel like a total loser. It just seemed easier to not take things there with Kyle when I'm like….this….." I look up meeting Kenny's eye.

"Drinking yourself to death is not going to help," says Kenny looking concerned.

"It helps to numb the pain….." I mumble.

"I know man," says Kenny walking over sitting down on my bed. "Trust me I do. I have the worst parents on planet earth I swear. I drink, I smoke, and I fuck, those things in rotation help keep me sane. You have to find a balance though." I look at Kenny because he is very serious.

"A balance…." I say slowly. "I wasn't drinking for a while but this whole school thing….I mean I really just want to write."

"Then do it," says Kenny. "I'm sure Kyle would be willing to help you once he forgives you."

"He won't take my calls…."I reply. I'm so eager to know how Kyle views me. "What did he tell you about me?"

"Not going to lie he was turned off by your attitude when tutoring started," says Kenny. "However, he really wanted you to pass."

"So it had nothing to do with the promise you guys made," I say bitterly. Kenny closes his eyes running his hands over his face.

"I admit we made a deal but I didn't tell Kyle to fall in love with you," he explains. "He did that shit on his own."

"He never said he loved me…."I say almost at a loss of words.

"He did…." says Kenny. "After…..you know….." I grab my hair feeling crazy.

"Oh my god…"I mutter. "I really hurt him…just like Ike said…"

"Ike said what?" asked Kenny.

"Ike said I was going to break Kyle's heart and I told him I would never do that," I explain. "I can't believe he was right."

"You need to stop listening to Ike," says Kenny. "That kid has a thing for you and saw how close you were getting to Kyle. He was sabotaging your tutoring, your friendship with Kyle from the jump."

"How would you know?" I ask.

"I'm friends with Kyle remember," says Kenny. "Kyle wanted to be friends with you but I think he started liking you. Ike told you Kyle hated you and Ike told Kyle that you hated him." I look at Kenny feeling like a complete idiot.

"He seriously lied like that," I replied. I stand up. "I need to see Kyle now!"

"I don't know…" says Kenny.

"You're coming with me!" I demanded not taking no for an answer. I don't even bother changing my clothes. I shove my foot into my sneakers before heading down the stairs following Kenny to his pick-up truck. Once inside Kenny glances at me.

"You do love Kyle right?" he asks.

"Yes," I replied blushing. "I just….I feel so stupid right now…" Kenny nods in agreement. I can't be mad at him for it. The way I feel right now I don't ever want to drink again.

"Alright," he replies. "The plan is for me to go into Kyle's room first and then you. If he sees you first, he may bolt or worse."

"What's worse?" I ask seeing we're near the house already.

"No telling considering he has a temper still," explains Kenny. "He is just better at hiding it." Kenny pulls up to the curb and we climb out. "I hope Ike punk ass is still sleeping because I can't deal with his shit right now." I agree. I'm so mad at Ike because I told him I wasn't interested in him but for him to try to take away someone who made me happy…..new low. Kenny knocks on the door and Mr. Broflovski answers.

"Afternoon," he grins. "Kyle is in his room." He pauses for a moment. "I don't recall the last time I saw you guys together."

"The gang is getting back together," grins Kenny. "Minus Cartman."

"Probably for the best," says Mr. Broflovski. I would laugh at that comment if I wasn't so worried about Kyle forgiving me. "Tell Kyle I'm going to meet his mother for a late lunch. I will be back in a couple hours."

"Okay," replies Kenny. We head towards the stairs climbing up. I'm really nervous because I remember Kyle's temper. I feel terrible about everything. This whole thing is a misunderstanding. I'm hoping Kyle will at least hear me out. Kenny motions for me to hide. I move to the side of Kyle's room door. Kenny knocks loudly.

"What!" shouts Kyle sounding agitated.

"Kyle, it's me," says Kenny. We hear some stumbling before the door opens.

"What are you doing here?" asked Kyle.

"You sounded pretty bad," says Kenny walking into the room. Kyle lowly snarls.

"I'm still fucking mad!" he snaps. "Shit, I hope my dad didn't hear that!"

"He just left," explains Kenny. "He went to meet your mom for lunch."

"Thank god," he sighs. "Dad is cooler about cursing but you know how my mom is."

"Uh huh…," replies Kenny. "There is something you need to know." I walk into his room. Soon as he lays eyes on me his face goes red.

"You son of a bitch!" he snarls. Kyle is in my face in a flash slapping me hard. I not only felt that slap I heard it. Well, at least he didn't punch me.

"Hey!" exclaims Kenny grabbing Kyle quickly.

"Fuck you, Stan!" he screams trying to get out of Kenny's bear hug.

"Dude, let me explain…." I plead.

"No!" he exclaims. "I have never hated anyone so much in my life. Get the fuck out of my face."

"Kyle, I love you," I tell him with no shame. I walk over to Kenny who is still hold him. "I'm sorry I got really trashed yesterday. I'm sorry I don't remember what happened." Kyle looks away from my glance. I make a bold move grabbing his face forcing him to look at me but he shakes his head out of my grip. "Tell me you don't love me? That doesn't just go away you know."

"Kenny, let me go now," huffs Kyle.

"Nope," says Kenny. "Not until you listen to him," Kyle growls.

"There is nothing he can say to make up for the fact he basically dumped me," says Kyle hurt.

"I was being selfish," I explain. "I was afraid you weren't going to want me as I am. I'm feeling really stressed about college, it just seemed easier to push you away….." I watch the tears slide down Kyle's cheek letting me know I really hurt him. He hates crying. "You know….it sucks that I lost my virginity and I don't even remember it." Kyle actually looks at me with his face softening. "Um….can you help me, Kyle? I want to be with you but please….um please try to deal with me…."

"Deal with you?" questions Kyle. "I love you. I'm not dealing you, I'm working with you. We're a team." Kenny releases Kyle. Kyle slowly walks over to me. I look at him bracing myself for another hit, instead, he hugs me tightly. In his arms I begin to cry, just everything hitting me at once. I almost lost my best friend again and my first boyfriend. Kyle rubs his hand up and down my back. I don't know how long I'm crying but Kyle leads me over to his bed with us sitting down. I look around noticing that Kenny is gone.

"Where's Kenny?" I asked.

"He's giving us some privacy," replied Kyle softly. "Stan you can talk to me about anything okay. I won't hurt you…..I promise I won't." Kyle takes my hand into his. "When you called yesterday and….said everything you did I was in flabbergasted. I was hurt….."

"I'm so sorry," I sniffle.

"I know," he replies. "I'm sorry too."

"Kyle….your brother…"I say slowly. "He keeps trying to date me….he tried to kiss me the last time I was here." Kyle's eyes get wide. "I didn't know he was purposely telling lies to keep us apart. Ike was my friend after all. I believed him, I believed everything he would tell me." Kyle huffs in annoyance before making eye contact with me.

"Do you want to date me?" asks Kyle. I nod my head yes not even having to think about it. "I will tell him today." Feeling drained lean on Kyle's shoulder. "You look tired, did you want to lay down?"

"Can you lay down with me?" I ask. Kyle nods. I lay down facing his window with Kyle wrapping his arms around me spooning me. Nothing seems as important anymore now that I got Kyle, my boyfriend. My old friends would never accept him and I don't even care. I snuggle back against Kyle drifting off to sleep. I awake a short time later since I slept most of the day. Kyle is still snuggled up to me. "Kyle…..was I any good?"

"You're talking about what we did yesterday?" he asks.

"Yeah….." I reply.

"You were amazing…." he says softly. "You made me feel so loved in every way. It's why it hurt when you ended things before they started…..it really upset me." I grab his hand that is draped in front of my stomach.

"I'm so sorry…."I apologize. "Would you like to try it again?"

"Well yeah…" he says. I sigh.

"I was afraid I ruined it for you," I reply.

"Just afterward," he replies. We hear a knock on his door. "What?"

"Hey!" exclaims Ike. "Where are mom and dad?"

"Mom is working and dad went to meet up with her," explains Kyle.

"Cool," says Ike. I think he walked away because we didn't hear anything after that. I lay there thinking about Kyle not knowing what he is thinking about.

"Kyle," I say after much thought.

"Yeah," he replies.

"Will you….will you top me…."I ask him. Kyle sits up looking down at me in disbelief. "What?"

"N-nothing…." he blushes. "I just didn't know you wanted to bottom." I blush heavily.

"I didn't either," I admit.

"Let's just relax for now," smiles Kyle. "This past week has been…..dramatic." I nod agreeing.


	24. Chapter 24

KYLE

Is it wrong that I still haven't told Ike about Stan and me? With him being home a lot more I really didn't want him to feel like shit because he already does. No matter how cruel Ike can be he is still my little brother. Part of me still wants to protect him. Tonight, mom has Ike going over to Michael's while Stan is coming over tonight. She doesn't know we are dating yet and I plan to keep it that way. It's my birthday and well Stan is graduating with us, kind of celebration into one. I look at my phone feeling it buzz. Stan is outside. We're going out to eat before coming back to the house. I would say to relax but that is a total lie.

"Kyle are you sure you don't mind us not being here for your birthday?" asked mom. "It's not every day my little boy turns 18." She is doing me a favor by not being here. Mom and Dad didn't get to celebrate their anniversary last weekend. Dad booked a night at this great hotel. I can only imagine what they have planned. As much as I hate knowing it my parents have a very healthy sex life.

"It's fine mom," I replied looking down at my jeans. "Stan is going to keep me company. Thanks for allowing Ike to go stay at his friends tonight."

"Well he has been home a lot more," she replies. "Although I had to force him, at least he didn't sneak out." I try to keep a straight face. "Oh, he thinks I don't know but I do. I didn't want to put bars on his window." I can see mom taking it that far but I'm glad she didn't. "Stan is outside waiting for you, you get going. You have our numbers if you need anything." I nod yes as mom hugs me tightly. I pull away from her heading outside. I told Stan this is a casual dinner date we don't need to dress up. Stan spots me from his car getting out. I almost lose my breath looking at him. Stan is actually in blue jeans, medium tint, he is wearing a red tee shirt. He sees the look on my face blushing as he smiles. He also cut his hair! I walk up to Stan falling in love all over again. I slide my hands into his hair.

"God, you're beautiful…"I mutter. Don't get me wrong. I was really mad to discover that Stan gets blackout drunk not remembering anything. I really thought he was all there for the most part. We carried a damn conversation for god sake. I now understand why he ended things with me, it was solely out of fear. Stan leans down close to my lips.

"If you keep touching me like that, I'm going to kiss you…." he whispers. I slowly pull my hand away blushing. Stan opens the car door. I get inside he closes my door making me feel like royalty. Stan gets behind the wheel. "I thought I looked like an idiot but the look on your face says otherwise." He looks like my Stan but I don't want to tell him that. He may think I didn't appreciate him how he was before but I do, it's just this seems more him.

"How do you feel?" I ask. "I think you look great." Stan takes off towards the restaurant.

"I feel….normal," he replied. "It's nice to not have the hair in my eyes as much. I had to take my earring out so mom wouldn't see it." I laugh because I know his mom would have gone off. I look noticing he has it in. "I put it back on in the car. I have only had for 4 months. I don't want to risk it closing up."

"So you're keeping it?" I question. Stan nods his head yes.

"You know you love it," he chuckles. I really do. Stan reaches out grabbing my hand. "So Ike is out tonight right?"

"God yes….." I drone. "You should know more than I do."

"Yeah," he replies. "I think he is hanging out with the guys, god knows what they are up tonight. They, of course, wanted to know what I was doing. I told them I was grounded."

"Man….."I sigh. "We really need to tell them about us. I mean as of today I'm a damn adult. I shouldn't have to sneak around."

"I know," says Stan. "Sorry, I'm really afraid they will hate me….." I squeeze his hand.

"If they do then they weren't really your real friends," I point out. Stan looks really emotional but nods in agreement. We get to the Longhorn Steak House. I'm super excited already knowing what I want. We get seated at a booth just as they started to get busy. Stan looks a little nervous. "Are you okay? You're not worried about tonight, are you?"

"Oh no…." says Stan. "I'm glad to be with you in that way tonight…..I just go this." He sits 3 letters on the table. I pick them up realizing they came from the scholarship programs. "I'm scared…." I can see him struggling.

"It's okay…."I sooth. "Let's get our food order and then we can open the letters together okay. No matter what you will be going to college. The scholarships are really just an extra bonus." Stan still looks unsettled but agrees with me. He begins to look at the menu.

"Aren't you going to pick something out?" he asks.

"I already know what I want," I reply. He begins to laugh.

"Jeez…." he chuckles. "I don't even know what I want yet. Did you want an appetizer?"

"Uhhh….I don't know…"I reply. Not sure if I want to spend that much money.

"I'm paying," he replies. "You can have whatever you want."

"Stan, you can't afford that," I replied in surprise.

"I got money," he replies. "Don't worry about it." I know his parents more than likely gave him the funds. A server comes up and Stan orders an appetizer for us. We also place the order for our meal. I'm not use to this and I must admit it feels pretty nice. Stan glances at me. "Have you thought about moving out?"

"Of course," I reply knowing what he is referring to. "What teen doesn't want to move out."

"I want to move out," says Stan. "Would you be willing to move in with me?" I look at him feeling bad because I want to stay home. My parents don't really bother me. I would like to focus on my studies and not worry about working.

"Um…I actually want to stay at home," I tell him softly. "I like the idea of not having to get a job."

"Okay," says Stan looking down. I grab his hand.

"Hey, it can't be that bad at home," I say. "Your mom is so nice, your dad….well he can be clingy but otherwise he is cool."

"I just want my own space," mutters Stan. "Mom is so happy with the changes I have been making lately. I just…..I don't know….."

"It's okay, you can tell me," I encourage him. I don't need him holding this in, spinning out of control.

"I just want to be around you," he explains. "Not in a creepy way…I just feel like a better person when I'm around you." My heart is swooning. He really loves me. We have become intertwined it seems.

"It's fine," I smile at him. "Let's see if we can come up with a solution."

"Really?" he asks. I nod yes not sure what I can come up with but I'm going to try. Our appetizer arrives we begin to nibble on that making light chat about cap and gown fitting that will be happening on Monday. Our last day in school is this upcoming Friday and then one week until we officially graduate. I'm super excited. I decided not to have a party but Token is and I'm totally going. I still need to let Stan know I want him to come with me to the party. We don't have to stay long, I just want to have some alcohol which I know will be there.

"Are you going to take the summer off or start classes right away?" Stan asked.

"I'm taking the summer off," I reply. "I mean I have no idea what I really will spend my time doing."

"I got a few ideas," blushed Stan wiggling his eyebrows. I burst out laughing causing him to laugh as well. "God damn this has got to be the best steak I have ever had."

"Right!" I exclaim. "You didn't come here like that?"

"I didn't really go anywhere or do anything," says Stan. "I wasn't kidding when I said that."

"I know," I smile.

"So…..I was thinking…." he says tilting his head. "Are you up for seeing new Avengers movie?"

"Are you serious!" I exclaim. "Yes!' Stan laughs.

"I actually want to see it," he replies. "Um…I was thinking next weekend."

"Sure!" I reply. He is doing more than just trying with me. It really feels like we have been in a relationship for years. We finish up dinner when I seriously can't eat another bite. I see Stan looking at his college letters on the table. "You ready to open them?" He looks so nervous but nods. He picks up the envelope opening the first one. I see him roll his eyes and he tosses the paper at me. He got turned down because of his marks. Well, I did warn him. I look up at Stan as a smile spreads across his face.

"Dude I got approved for a three-thousand-dollar scholarship!" he exclaims. He looks at me with his eyes lighting up.

"That is so awesome!" I exclaim. "Imagine how far that could go at a community college!" Stan stands up holding his hand out to me hugging me. "Wait, we still have one more…"

"I know…," he mutters into my shoulder. "I just really wanted to thank you…I mean this wouldn't have been possible without you." I turn my face kissing his cheek.

"It's okay," I reply pulling out of the hug. "I only know about these grants and scholarships because I started looking into them in 10th grade."

"Really?" asks Stan pulling out of the hug. God, he smells good tonight. We both sit back down in our seats with Stan reaching for the final letter.

"I was well informed," I replied. "I wanted to apply for the ones I figured fit me and my needs. That is what I looked into for you. You have two more to come right?"

"Yeah," he says ripping open the letter. I watch as he reads it and his smile continues. "God I didn't….I didn't know…..man look at this…." He hands me the letter. For his writing, he was granted two thousand dollars. I recall Stan having to submit some of his work along with an essay. "I just got five thousand dollars for the school. Oh my god…" I'm so happy for him seeing how I got my full scholarship I feel better knowing my boyfriend got a little something. "Jesus what if I had done better? Applied for more?"

"It's okay Stan," I reply. "You know now and you are acting on it. They must have been impressed with your work."

"I guess so," he chuckles. He looks at me causing me to feel this current move through my body. "I'm ready to leave now." I nod my head knowing I'm looking forward to us getting in some loving. Stan pays the bill and we head out hand in hand. "Man my mom is going to be so happy about the grants."

"I don't blame her," I replied. "Education is so damn expensive." We reach the car getting inside. We try to figure out which movie theater we want to go to. In the area, we now have 3 different types of theaters we can go to. We decide on the IPEX theater downtown. Stan parks on the curb and I become a little nervous knowing what it is we are going to be doing tonight. I unlock the door walking into a dark house. I walk over cutting on the small lamp. "Did you need anything before we head upstairs?" Stan shakes his head no. He follows me upstairs to my room. I walk into my room closing the door once Stan is inside. I shake a little trying to decide when to make my move.

"Are you nervous?" asks Stan. I cut on my TV turning towards Stan. He is pulling his shirt over his head looking at me like I'm a snack.

"Yeah….." I admit. "Not all of us can be blackout drunk." Stan looks away from me. "I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that…."

"It's fine," he mutters. Damn, I shouldn't have said anything.


	25. Chapter 25

KYLE

"Seriously," I reply. "I didn't mean it in that way."

"I know you didn't," says Stan sitting on my bed. "I just still feel shitty about how everything went down." I remove my shirt walking over to Stan.

"Don't worry," I encourage him. "We have plenty of time to make our own memories, plenty of good ones." I lean down kissing Stan. I'm glad to see him return the kiss sliding his hand into my curly hair. "Ahhh….let me grab the stuff." While I grab the condoms and lube Stan removes the rest of his clothes before getting under the covers. Once my clothes have joined his on the floor I climb into bed. I usually don't toss my clothes on the floor but I can pick them up later. "Did you um clean up?"

"Yeah," says Stan slowly with his cheeks ever so pink. "It was very interesting. I took some extra time not wanting to miss anything." Thank you, Stan. I really don't know if I could handle any surprises. I rub lube on two of my fingers before looking back at Stan. He now spreads his legs seeing that I'm ready to proceed with the first step. I'm very nervous but I don't want it to show. I want to kiss Stan for comfort but I need to focus for just a moment. I slide my hand between his legs listening to him whimper slightly. I push my pointer finger in slowly. Stan has his eyes closed and I'm okay with that. I begin to move my finger back and forth slowly remembering what it felt like once I got use to having him inside of me. I feel focused enough now. I lean down kissing the side of his neck. "Hahh…..ha….." I smirk into his neck knowing this would change things.

"Hmmmm….."I hum into his neck as my mouth slides all over this neck. After a minute Stan is panting, I can even feel his hard cock pressing against my stomach. I know my dick is rubbing against his inner thigh.

"Kyle….." moans Stan. I look at him and he leans up to kiss me. I groan into his mouth before allowing my tongue to claim it. "Ahhh…hahh…..mmmm….." That is a real response. I know he is beginning to good. I roll my hips to add to his pleasure while giving him a great visual of what is to come. "Ohhh…" he moans arching his back. You think it would be weird with him being taller than me but it isn't, it somehow works. It probably helped that Stan propped up a few pillows behind him.

"Ahhh…" I moan. "Dude, I'm going to add another finger…"

"Okay…." he pants. I stop kissing him to focus on adding a second finger. "Nnnggghhh…" Stan shakes a little and I know it is because of how delightful I'm making him feel. I think what I read online. I now begin to slowly move my fingers while spreading them slightly. "Haaa…shit…..ahhh…"

"Fuck…"I moaned looking down at my boyfriend who is feeling pleasure because of me. My dick twitches every time he moans now. I beginning to pant myself while still trying to locate his spot. My mini perfectionist ways kick in. I refuse to stop until I find it.

"Kyle….." whines Stan. "Come on, put it in already."

"Not yet…." I reply. "Trust me okay." Stan nods before turning his head kissing my inner bicep. "Ohhhh…"I moan liking that gesture. God, he is making this so much harder. I continue to stroke my finger inside of him experimenting in different areas. I finally manage to touch his prostate. His ass got so tight around my fingers.

"Haaaa!" cries, Stan. "Oh my god…..haaah….." I look at him. Those pink cheeks are quickly turning red. I stare at Stan as I repeat the motion. "Oh fuck…ahhhh…" he is beginning to arch his back.

"That is why I wanted you to wait….."I pant. "Does it feel good?"

"Nnngghhh….." moans Stan unable to talk. I want to see my dick make him this way. I remove my fingers causing Stan to sigh. I wipe my fingers down before getting a condom and placing it on. I place so more lube at his entrance. I read that you shouldn't place any on the condom but I do it anyway. I line up with Stan glancing down at him. He still looks a little out of it but in a good way. He smirks at me and I know he is in there. I push forward gasping.

"Ahhh…..ha….."I moan. I'm barely inside of him and I can feel it already. Dear god, I don't think I'm going to last even five minutes. "Ahhhh…..shit….nnngghhh…." I push my hips further just a little. Stan is panting but doesn't look uncomfortable. He licks his lips before grabbing his dick stroking it.

"Ohhh….haaa….." he moans. I have to look away from Stan because seeing him touch himself with me inside of him is too much. I move forward a little bit more leaning over kissing Stan. We pant into each other's mouths for a while before I move my hips once more. "Did I make you feel like this?" he pants.

"Yes," I reply pulling out of the kiss. I don't pull too far away from him because I want to be as close to him as possible. Stan has the same idea with his left hand grabbing my back. He curves his back trembling a little.

"Oh fuck….." he moans. "Ahhh…..my spot….ha…." What a happy accident. I begin to move my hips towards Stan's prostate he managed to find on his own. I'm not fully inside of him but it still feels fucking amazing. "Haaa…..ha…..Kyle…..aaarrggghhh….." Stan tightens around me just as he did my fingers.

"Oh my god…haaa…" I moan. I pant heavily as I watch Stan climax. His walls begin to massage my dick causing me to cry out. My poor virgin penis can't handle that. My orgasm catches me completely off guard. "Stan…"I moan thrusting my hips.

"Kyle….haahh…."he cries holding on tighter to my back as he shudders beneath me.

"Hahhh…..ha….aarrrgggghhhh….." I cry out as I begin to pump my release into the condom. Stan bends his back moaning loudly as his ass literally pulses around my dick. "Oh, shit…..aaahhh….."

"Ahhhh….." moans Stan lowly as he stops moving. I glance down seeing he came on his stomach. I'm glad to know I was able to get him to climax the first time around. I can still feel his ass twitching making me whimper because my dick is super sensitive right now. "Oh man…..that was incredible." I lean down rubbing my nose against his.

"It was….."I admit before kissing him softly. "I love you, Stan, I really do."

"I know….." says Stan. He begins to kiss me but I have to stop pulling out because he is hurting my dick at this point. We clean up a little bit before laying down in my bed. "Want to watch some Terrence and Phillip?" I chuckle.

"Sure dude," I reply sitting up glad that things haven't changed. I know some people would find it to be totally lame that Stan and I say 'I love you' so much but we meant it. I can't speak for Stan but I know he needs to know I care. I don't need my boyfriend to ever doubt my love for him. We stay up super late watching Terrence and Phillip. We end up grabbing some ice cream from the fridge around 10 pm and eating almost the whole 8 gallons. It was too good and a limited edition at that. That is the excuse I'm going to use. We actually make out for a little bit before finally drifting off to sleep. I have to admit this was the best birthday I had in years.

I wake up cuddle into Stan's chest. I nuzzle my face into his chest not believing how well things went last night. That is what I was hoping for, that is what I was wanting. I feel like a new person in a way. I reach across Stan grabbing my phone. I have a shit ton of notifications from Facebook, oh god now what. That is the only time I usually have these many notifications is relating to some drama. I wonder who did Cartman piss off today. I get comfortable before opening the app. I go to the feed and the first thing I see is a picture of Stan and me in bed.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim sitting up. I can see the picture had to be taken this morning, we are both passed out. Stan is on his back hair flying everywhere. I'm lying on his chest with my arm draped over his stomach. I'm glad to see the photo is from the waist up. I keep staring at the photo not believing this online for everyone to see. This has to be a mistake! I follow my eyes seeing Ike posted this along with the caption 'Can't trust anyone. My own brother stole my lover. Here is the harsh proof for everyone to see. Not only did he betray me so did Raven. He is a total poser! He is dead to me now." Ike! Are you fucking serious! All this over…..Stan. I climb out of bed with Stan stirring now because of my quick movements. I ignore him as I slide on my summer flannel PJ bottoms and snatch my shirt from the draw.

"Kyle…" says Stan sensing my anger. I walk out of my room walking up to Ike's room. I tried to open the door, he locked it of course. I start to kick the door hard hearing Ike yelp inside.


	26. Chapter 26

KYLE

"Open this mother fucking door!" I shout at him. I hate getting like this with Ike but he has seriously crossed a line. I continue to kick the door until I finally hear a crack.

"Oh my god!" cries Ike. "Stop!"

"Open this door and I will stop," I reply. Something tells me he is not going to open this door, fucking coward. Stan has now come into the hall hearing all the commotion.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asks looking puzzled. I'm not even sure if I have the heart to tell him.

"I don't want to see you," says Ike.

"I bet you are scared," I growl. "How dare you!" I kick the door again.

"Dude calm down," says Stan watching in horror. I finally land a kick that knocks the door off the hinges, I walked into Ike's room seeing him try to run for his closet. I run over to him grabbing by his shoulders before he can go inside. "Kyle!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I screamed as I shake him. "Do you have any idea what you have done! What have I ever done to deserve this! Huh! HUH!"

"I don't care!" screams Ike. "Why you! Why you! I fucking loved him and yet you slept with him anyway."

"Ike….." says Stan sadly. "Are you still on that? I told you I wasn't interested in you. Come on Kyle, let him go." I don't want to. I want to whoop his ass. Stan pulls my fingers off Ike's shoulders. Ike stumbles away from me before smirking at us.

"Now mom knows what you were really doing last night," he chuckles.

"What is he talking?" asked Stan looking at me. Stan looks back at Ike who looks pleased with the mess he has caused. "Did you tell your mom about Kyle and me?"

"No," I hiss. "He came into my room this morning snapping a picture of us in bed and literally posted it on Facebook for everyone to see." Stan face drops.

"Ike you didn't…" he cries. For the first time since this confrontation, I see Ike look like he cares.

"I did what I had to Raven or should I say, Stan," Ike says with no remorse. Stan covers his face. I see my boyfriend breaking down. He is more important than Ike at the moment. I don't say anything to Ike walking over to Stan. I grab his hand leading him back to my room. I close the door locking it.

"I can't…I can't believe he did that…." he mutters. "Oh god, what am I going to do?"

"I don't know…." I tell him softly. Seeing how upset Stan comes first over my anger. I want to ensure Stan remains calm and doesn't want to get blackout drunk. "I mean people would have found out about us."

"Not like this!" he exclaims looking at me. "Ike was like a best friend and…and he did this." I just walk over hugging my boyfriend. He is shaking as we hear his phone going off. Stan ignores it as he continues to hug me. He finally pulls away picking up his phone off my nightstand. "God dad and mom are blowing me up. Michael, Pete, and Henrietta are cursing me out….."

"Put the phone down," I tell him closing the gap between us. He doesn't listen so I take the phone out of his hand. I lead Stan to my bed sitting him down. I hold his hand tightly. "I love you, Stan." He looks at me and I smile brightly. "I can't promise that this will be easy but we can get through this together. Stan leans in kissing me. I close my eyes indulging into the kiss.

"Loving you is the best decision I made in years….." he moans against my lips. "I'm still a little scared."

"Me too…" I replied. "At worst I will be grounded, you won't be able to stay the night but otherwise it should be okay." Stan nods before giving me a small smile. "What?"

"Well….." he says. "I was hoping that we could shower together…" I blush laughing a little. "We mid as well live it up while we can."

"I can't disagree with that…."I reply. "Let's go um shower together." I begin to giggle from nerves. Stan kisses my cheek before standing up. I grab us both clean towels before heading into the bathroom.


	27. Chapter 27

STAN

Kyle and I wash each other in the shower. He has no idea how much better this is making me feel. I'm extremely nervous about…..well everything. We got back to his room and just finished getting dressed when there is a knock on his door. Kyle walks over opening the door to see both of his parents.

"Morning Kyle," says Mrs. Brovfloski nervously. "Stan you're….um still here."

"What the hell happened to Ike's door?" asked Mr. Brovfloski noticing the door isn't closed.

"Uh….sorry about that," apologizes Kyle. "I kind of lost my temper." His dad turns to look at him surprised that he did all of that. I thought Kyle was really going to hurt Ike but he has it coming for this shit he pulled.

"Stanley would you mind leaving," says Mrs. Broflovski. "We need to speak with Kyle."

"Yes," I replied walking over grabbing my overnight bag. "Text me later…."

"Um…," says Mrs. Broflovski. "He probably won't be able to." Shit.

"Can I please walk my boyfriend to the door?" asks Kyle. I give him that, he is remaining calm, no yelling, no screaming.

"Yeah," says his father. "Don't be gone too long. We will be waiting right here." God the tension is thick. Kyle follows me down the stairs.

"God I could kill Ike for this," he mutters.

"Do you think if we told him in advance, it would have been a different outcome?" I ask reaching the door.

"I doubt it," says Kyle. "His hate is at an all-time high right now."

"Thanks for not beating him up," I reply. Kyle chuckles. "I'm hurt but I still would have felt bad if Ike had got hurt."

"He's my brother," says Kyle. "I wouldn't hurt him that badly."

"Think your parents are mad?" I ask.

"I know they're mad," he replies. "Let me get back to them. Love you." Kyle leans up kissing me quickly. I open the door heading outside. I get to my car unlocking the door and tossing my bag in the passenger seat. I look at the house to see Ike looking out his window. I give him my middle finger before getting into my car driving off. As I make my home I think about last night.

I still don't remember having sex with Kyle and I probably never will but I enjoyed the hell out of it last night. Although he was new to having sex, well we both were but it felt like he knew what he was doing. I have never felt this emotionally connected to anybody in my life. I hate this but I need him in my life….always. I park the car heading inside and dad is on me so quickly.

"Stan what the fuck is this!" he screams shoving his phone in my face showing me the picture I have yet to see. I have to admit we look pretty cute together.

"Randy," says mom pulling him out of the way. "Stan, we need to have a talk." I don't even say anything. I just walk over and sit down on the single chair. "How was your night last night?"

"We already know how his night was," says dad. "He was fucking a guy."

"Randy please, let him talk," Mom focuses back on me. "Go ahead, honey."

"I don't know where to start….."I mutter feeling my old goth self coming to the surface of my mind.

"It's okay," smiles mom. "Take your time." I glance at my mom. I can see how much she really cares, she wants to know how I feel.

"Well I first want to say I'm sorry for the photo," I say slowly. "Like Ike took that picture and posted it because he was jealous."

"Jealous?" questions dad. "You were dating Ike?"

"God dad no!" I exclaim. "He liked me but I didn't like him like that." I can see them both looking at me like they're confused. "I'm not gay I just like um both or whatever."

"Okay," says mom. "That's good to know. You know you can talk to us about anything right."

"Yeah…"I mutter.

"So Kyle is your boyfriend?" asks Dad. I nod yes. "Alright then…"

"It hasn't been long or anything," I reply. "I really wanted him to get a place with me but he doesn't want to have to worry about paying rent."

"That is completely understandable," says mom. "College coursework is hard enough. Then to have to work it can be a challenge." Mom sighs.

"Mom I got 2 grants," I reply.

"What?" she questions. I can't help it as I begin to smile.

"Yeah I got 2 grants, 1 turned me down but I'm still waiting to hear back on the other 2." Mom is coming across the room hugging me tightly. I chuckle a little. She is making me feel like I am 9 years old again.

"That's great Stan," says dad. "What are you going to school for?"

"I'm going to go for writing," I reply. "I really enjoy doing that." I look down at my lap as mom sits back down.

"Stan," says mom softly. "Do you think Kyle would like to live here while he goes to school?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Yeah Sharon," says dad. "What are you talking about?"

"It's obvious our son is in love," she replies. "You and Kyle can live in the basement if you like for more privacy."

"My man cave!" exclaims dad.

"Randy this is important," says mom. "What do you think about that Stanley?" I feel the tears on my face before I can even say anything. I wipe them away quickly.

"I will have to ask Kyle," I reply. "Are you sure this okay mom?" She nods yes while dad is folding her arms not liking the idea of his man cave being gone.

"Randy, we can move your man cave to Stan's old room if need be," says mom.

"It's not the same," pouts dad. Mom rolls her eyes before looking back at me.

"Just let us know what you decide," she replies. "I'm so excited that you got grants and will be going to college. I personally think Kyle being here with you is for the best." My mom has no idea how true that really is. "So tell me how you and Kyle started dating?" Dad gets up walking away but I don't mind. I tell mom about the tutoring leaving out the part that I almost failed pretty much. I explained to her how I learned to trust him and grew to love him. I also explained the whole thing about Ike in more detail too. Mom is a really good listen. I didn't think my mom was this cool. She shakes her head. "I can't believe Ike reacted that way."

"Me too," I replied.

"I'm sorry that happened," she says softly. "At the same time I'm glad, look at where we are now." I nod smiling when we hear a knock on the door. "Who is that? Bet not be those church folks." Mom gets up walking over to the door while I'm standing up grabbing my bag. "Kyle,"

"Hi Mrs. Marsh….." says Kyle slowly. I can't even lie, I'm happy as hell to see him. The way his mom sounded I didn't think I would get to see him for months. "Um, can I talk to Stan?"

"Of course," she replies when the phone starts to ring.

"That's probably my mom," Kyle says walking into the house. Kyle closes the door locking it while my mom grabs the phone.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. He sighs.

"I got into it with Ike," he replies.

"Come on, let's go to my room," I replied. We head upstairs as my mom talks on the phone. I open my room door glad I cleaned up before I left. "What do you mean you got into it with Ike?"

"Just like I said," said Kyle sitting down in my desk chair. "Like mom and dad of course wanted to know long we have been a thing? How come I didn't tell them? Was I planning to screw in the house? God, it was seriously embarrassing."

"How did Ike get involved?" I asked sitting on my bed.

"They wanted to know why I broke the hinges off his door," says Kyle. "Ike pretty much was saying I stole his boyfriend. This led mom to question if you were dating Ike and she was freaking out. I told her Ike was lying and you never dated him. He brought up that drunk kiss and I knocked the shit out of him for it. I pretty much ran away after that. I mean not run away from home but I just like had to get out of there." I look at Kyle and for a change, he looks like the one that needs the hug. I walk over to him hugging him tightly.

"It's okay dude," I reply. "You can live here if you want."

"Yeah right…." says Kyle into my chest.

"No seriously," I reply pulling away. "My mom said we can live in the basement or whatever. We would have our own bathroom. I mean we can actually live like a real couple….well at least until we move out."

"What about rent?"

"We don't have to pay anything," I reply.

"I could never do that to your mom," he replies. Kyle looks at me biting his lip. "Would you be willing to work part-time? I want us both to be able to give her something, show her we care."

"Does that mean you will move in?" I ask.

"Totally," said Kyle. "I don't mind staying with my parents but Ike…..he isn't going to let this go easily." In this case, I'm thanking Ike. If not for him being a spoiled brat Kyle wouldn't have agreed. "Is it okay if we go check out the basement?" I grab Kyle's hand with us walking downstairs. I see mom is heavily into the conversation. Yeah, she has to be talking to Kyle's mom. We head downstairs and thankfully dad isn't here. "Wow, it looks so nice down here."

"I know," I replied. "My um old buddies use to love being down here." Kyle is walking around a little before going to check out the bathroom. I walk over to the bathroom when he comes out.

"We could really make this nice," he smiles.

"Uh huh….." I reply staring at him. He is really happy about this. It's more than just him getting away from Ike. "My mom is super glad that we're dating."

"Really?" he asks.

"Yeah….." I reply blushing. "She said she can see how much I love you." Kyle face flushes with him looking down.

"And to think you tried to push me away….." he says meeting my eye.

"That won't be happening ever again….." I reply pulling him towards me. I lean down kissing Kyle now believing for the first time in my life I'm happy. Kyle slides his hand into my hair making moan slightly. You think I would be satisfied after last night but I'm not. I want him as close as possible.

"Oh jeez….." I look up overseeing my dad running back up the stairs and out of the basement. We both chuckle.

"So…" says Kyle straightening up my shirt. "Token is having a graduation party and I want you to come with me." I look at him in surprise. I mean I thought for sure he would have been having a party himself.

"Um…..sure," I reply.

"Seriously!" exclaims Kyle. He begins to laugh a little making me giggle. "I really thought you would say no."

"I'm a little nervous," I admit. "But I think I will be fine with you by my side." Kyle blushes before kissing my cheek.

"Come on, let's go look for part time jobs so we can join the working world," he says. I groan following him upstairs.

"Do you think your mom is going to be okay with all of this?" I asked. "I mean…."

"She will be," replies Kyle. "Don't think about it too much okay. Is it okay if we share the car?"

"Well yeah," I reply closing the basement door. "Did you think I was going to let my boyfriend walk to Denver." Kyle smiles making my heart flutter. I want to always see him smile like that. We stayed holed up in my room for the remainder of the evening applying for jobs and looking at the community college. Kyle was going to go to a University but decided to start at a community college for the first two years and then transfer over. I feel good knowing he will be with me. We decided to take two basic classes and one major class needed for the two-year degree. Kyle wants to see how we fair with 3 classes before deciding if we should take more. I swear I have the smartest boyfriend in the world. I look at him as he is glancing at something on my iPad. I just grin glad that I decided to let him in.


	28. Chapter 28

STAN

GRADUATION DAY

That service was long as fuck despite us only having 177 people in our graduating class. I wouldn't mind if it wasn't so fucking hot out here. It is a stick 103 degrees outside.

"Where are your friends Stanley?" asked mom. I roll my eyes because I haven't spoken to them since the whole Ike picture accident. I didn't try to reach out to them and they didn't try to reach out to me. Plain and simple. I don't want my mom to know I had a falling out with my friends.

"I…."

"Stan!" shouts Kyle. I glance over at Kyle so happy to see him. He is walking over with his very decorated cap and gown. He had several extra awards for what I don't really know. Call me a bad boyfriend. "Hi Mrs. Marsh, Mr. Marsh."

"Great!" exclaims mom more than thrilled to see Kyle. "Let me get a picture of you two." Here we go. It's like freaking prom all over again. Kyle and I stand there taking lots of pictures with his mom joining my mom. I look at her wondering does she hate me deep down just a little. She was not happy with the idea of Kyle and I playing house. She also blamed me for his decision to go to a community college first instead of straight to a University. Kyle explained his decision, but it wasn't good enough excuse in her eyes. He got all moved in over the course of this past week. Tonight, will be his first official night staying in our new place I should call it.

"God I'm so ready to eat," says dad.

"Me too," I admit. We are not having a party but going to eat at my favorite buffet in town.

"Is it okay if I ride with you guys," says Kyle.

"Of course," replies mom. "Just let us know when you're ready."

"I need to take a few more photos," says Kyle. He looks at me. "Come with me, Stan." He holds out his hand and I can't say no. Kyle leads me into the crowd looking around hand in hand. He spots Tweek and Craig waving at them. Craig looks just as annoyed as my dad. Tweek is shaking a little but not too bad.

"Hey," says Kyle. "How is it going?"

"Good," replies Tweek. "I freaking lost my parents."

"Don't they have cell phones?" asked Kyle with a raised eyebrow.

"They have them off!" exclaims Tweek. "They are use to having them off. I don't know why they bother even having them if they never turn them on….." Tweek looks at me smiling. "Hi, Stan."

"Hi," I say shyly.

"How you been?" asked Craig.

"Good since we don't have to go to this god awful place anymore," I snort. Craig actually laughs. I am not use to anyone outside of my….old friends laughing at what I have to say.

"Right on," Craig agrees once his laughter has died off. "Are you going to Token's party?"

"Yeah," I reply.

"Cool," replies Craig. "He has the best parties and since he is graduating, I know this party is going to be lit." I feel so confused. Tweek rolls his eyes.

"Token tends to have a lot of booze and drugs at his parties," explains Tweek.

"Really?" I question. "He doesn't seem like the type."

"Oh my god…." drones Craig before chuckling. "Token is the biggest freak out of our group. He parties the hardest. I can barely keep up with him."

"You don't need too," says Tweek looking at Craig.

"We will be there," says Kyle. "Don't worry. Can we get some pictures?"

"Yes!" exclaims Tweek. We take some selfies with Tweek and Craig. Then we proceed to walk around together. I end up seeing Cartman and Heidi. Cartman wanted to take pictures with us which surprised the hell out of us. I'm worn out by the time we locate my parents having taken pictures with Kenny, Wendy, Butters, Jason, and few more people I can't recall now. My old friends are no where to be found…..

"God, I feel exhausted…" I reply getting into dad's SUV.

"Let's get going," he replies. "I'm freaking starving." Dad takes off towards the restaurant. Mom is super happy with how things have been going with us as a family. I guess I didn't realize how cut off from my family I was. I almost feel spoiled. Mom is pretty much willing to do anything to ensure I am happy. I really wish I started talking to her sooner. We eat until we can't anymore heading back home. I get to my new room in the basement feeling so happy to be here.

"Hey," says Kyle taking off his gown now. "I'm about to go see my parents."

"You miss them already?" I joke taking off my gown.

"No way," he chuckles. "They have all the cards from family. I need to open them and all that fun stuff."

"Alright," I reply stretching. "I'm about to take a nap."

"Not yet!" exclaims Kyle. "Wait for me! I want us both to be well rested for the party."

"Alright," I reply. "Let me walk you upstairs."

"You don't have to do that," he replies.

"It's fine," I reply following him up the stairs. We get to the front door. I open it seeing my so-called friends except for Ike and Firkle.

"Is this a bad time?" asked Michael flipping his hair.

"Depends," says Kyle giving them a death stare. Kyle hasn't said anything, but I am sure he can see how sad I am with not talking to them. Sure, we started to not agree on everything, but they were my friends since 4th grade. Henrietta bites her lip so I know they must really be trying. I can only imagine what she wants to say to Kyle.

"It's okay babe," I say to Kyle. Kyle glares at them before looking at me.

"Call me if you need anything," he says. "I will be right back here." Kyle grabs my hand kissing me before giving them a mean glare pushing past them. Henrietta growls.

"Remember why we are here," Pete tells his girlfriend. Pete looks at me. "Can we come in?" I step aside opening the door for them to enter.

"Where is everyone?" asked Henrietta looking around.

"My dad is in his man cave and my mom is napping," I replied. I lead them to the living room sitting down. "What do you guys want?" I fold my arms as Michael sighs.

"We want to apologize or whatever," he says sitting down. "I can't speak for these two, but I seriously miss you."

"Um hm," I reply. "Where is Ike and Firkle?"

"Ike is still having a hard time dealing," said Pete. "We seriously underestimated how dark he could be. Firkle has been spending a lot of time with him."

"Yeah, so you guys totally shit on me when it came out I was dating Kyle," I reply cutting straight to the chase. "That shit really offended me."

"It was the fact you were hiding it that upset us," explains Michael. "It seemed like you were changing who you are to please Kyle." I shake my head.

"I wasn't," I reply. "Kyle loved me regardless. He even called me Raven but I prefer for him to call my Stan. Anyway, I love that guy and there is nothing anyone can do or say to make me leave him. What Ike did…that is almost unforgivable. On top of that he isn't even here." I scoff.

"I admit that was fucked up," says Pete.

"I don't even know how Ike knew," I replied. "I mean he was staying the night with you guys."

"He did," says Mike. "Firkle saw you guys at some steakhouse or something. He was forced to go to dinner with his folks. He was the one who told Ike. He had a picture and everything. Like you weren't wearing black at all, haircut, all cuddled with Kyle. I guess it was too much for him to handle."

"I'm not going to go into details," I sigh. "I said what I had to say on the matter but until Ike apologizes, I don't want anything to do with him."

"That's understandable," says Michael. It goes quiet for a moment. It is feels tense but only for a tiny bit. "Are you happy?" I smile immediately. "Oh boy….."

"Somebody got laid," chuckles Henrietta.

"Henrietta, stop digging," says Pete. "We are here for another reason to be honest. We wanted to apologize and know did you still want to be roommates with us? We finally found an affordable spot, the more the merrier. God did I really just say that?" I begin to laugh.

"Yeah, you did," I reply chuckling.

"Sorry but I'm so ready to move out that fucking trailer," pouts Pete. Pete's parents work hard but spend their money on the wrong things. They think to live in a trailer if okay. It wouldn't be so bad if they provided Pete what he needs and cleaned up the place but they don't. Instead, the money goes towards a shit ton of comic books, action figures, and taking in cats they can't afford to feed.

"Thanks, guys but I'm actually not going to move out anymore," I reply. "Me and my boyfriend got a nice little set up for us." I love saying, boyfriend. I have to fight not to smile every time I say it.

"You guys got a place together?" asked Henrietta.

"Yes and no…." I reply. "My mom allowed us to move into the basement, it's all ours. We decided to work part-time to give her something but we technically don't need to pay rent."

"Oh man…" says Michael. "I'm so jealous. That is a sweet ass set up."

"I have to admit that is pretty fucking sweet," says Pete. "So Marsh are we good?" I smile noticing he didn't call me Raven.

"Yeah," I replied. "We're good." I spend some more time talking to the people I can now call my friends. We all ripped on the graduation and then caught up with each other. They leave and I head downstairs killing time until Kyle returned. He was very worried despite me texting him confirming all was good. He comes back and we take a nap as promised.


	29. Chapter 29

STAN

Most people would probably want to know how the party was. It was insane, I literally mean that. Some people were snorting coke, others popping mollies, or smoking weed. I mean I know Craig said drugs but I was not thinking it would be that bad. Token's parents left so he could have the place to himself. Everyone was glad to see me at least. It was amazing to see how different everyone was. I mean granted a few people stayed the same like Kenny, Butters, and Tweek but everyone else was completely different.

Token and Wendy are really into the party scene. Clyde is skater and partier. Apparently, he stopped playing sports in 10th grade. God knows what else I missed over the years. I don't drink at all but I have a great time dancing with Kyle and hanging out with Tweek and Craig. I have to admit I really enjoy being around them. Tweek must have had the same thing in mind.

"Hey, we're about to go," says Kyle to Tweek.

"Awww….." pouts Tweek.

"You guys should totally come on the small road trip with us," says Craig.

"What?" I ask looking at him. Craig tilts his head motioning for us to step outside. We head out to the front of the house. We are standing on the porch.

"Whew…," says Tweek. "It was seriously hot in there."

"As I was saying," says Craig grabbing Tweek's hand. "We are taking a small road trip."

"What's a small road trip?" asked Kyle.

"We will only be gone for 5 days," explains Tweek. "We were thinking the grand canyon or something."

"Still don't know where we will go yet," says Craig.

"Thanks for the invite but Stan and I need to find jobs," explains Kyle. "Right now we are literally surviving on an allowance."

"At least you guys get an allowance," says Craig. "My parents don't give me shit. Understandable though. I hope this won't be the last time we hang out."

"It won't be," says Kyle grabbing my hand. "We will see you guys later." Craig nods with him and Tweek standing on the porch talking. We get in the car heading towards the house.

"I didn't know you were so close to those two," I state.

"I'm not," replied Kyle. "I talk to them but I think they have taken a liking to us. I mean you saw what has become of their friends. I don't blame them."

"I would have never thought Wendy would get down like that," I reply focusing on the road. "I mean she is going to school to be a teacher for god sake."

"Yeah," sighs Kyle. "I knew but I have never seen her in action. I have to give her credit for not letting it flow over into her school life."

"Tell me about it," I replied. I wonder what my friends would think if they knew the truth about everyone there. They love smoking weed but they refuse to try anything else. We pull up to the house and I get the car parked.

"Man, no more high school," says Kyle looking at me. "This feels so weird…."

"It really does," I admit pulling out my keys. "I barely remember it already." Kyle grabs my hand chuckling.

"I'm sure you saw tonight you didn't miss a damn thing," he points out. I unlock the door walking into the house. Everyone is upstairs. I lock the front door and we head downstairs to our room. It looks like a small apartment. Kyle still wants to get a sofa and a table for two. I'm so glad to be home all the same. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah I did," I reply after much thought. Kyle and I get undressed getting under the covers on my bed facing each other. I'm really nervous but at the same time, I'm not.

"I prepped…." whispers Kyle. "I just need a little stretching and we should be good to go."

"Okay…."I say nervously. "Can I do it?" Kyle nods yes. I grab the lube getting pretty nervous. Sure, I have done this on myself, but I have never had to do it for Kyle. I don't want to hurt him like I did his first time. I want him to feel as good as he makes me feel.

"Stan,"

"Yeah," I say glancing at him. He smiles at me.

"I love you," he says blushing. Kyle and I have only been official for a few weeks but he knows exactly what I need. He never makes me feel emotionally needy, weak, or stupid next to his genius brain. I lean down kissing Kyle.

"I love you too….."I mutter into the kiss. Kyle returns the kiss softly sliding his hands up my back. I mumble into the kiss because I am beginning to feel some pleasure from such a simple movement. I almost forgot what we are really suppose to be doing. Kyle thrust his hard cock against my stomach.

"Hahhh…..ha…" he moans. I bury my face into his neck sucking on his skin softly drawing more sweet sounds from him. "Stan…a-are you trying to tease me…..aaahhh…" Kyle is arching his back a little.

"Not at all….." I reply pulling back. I rub the lube on my two fingers before getting back between his legs. I look at Kyle becoming really anxious. Granted he said when I did it the first time blackout drunk it was amazing I'm still scared to fuck this up. Kyle slides his right hand into my hair.

"It's okay to be nervous," says Kyle. "You won't hurt me…..I know you won't." He has so much faith in me maybe I should put forth some effort. I slide my hands between his legs seeing his eyes flutter slightly. I get to his entrance deciding to pretend that I'm fingering myself. Otherwise, I don't know if I could go through with it. I lean down kissing Kyle as I slide my pointer finger inside of him. I can hear his breathing change as I begin to move my finger back and forth rhythmically. I'm taking my time as I always like to start off slow when it comes to myself.

"Hahhh…..ha…..mmm….."I moan as I continue to stroke Kyle with my finger. Kyle whines as he curves his back a little. I move back to Kyle's neck beginning to suck hard deciding I want to mark him. Kyle thrusts his hips against mine also taking more of my finger.

"Oh fuck…." moans Kyle gripping my back tightly. That makes me thrust against him moaning into his neck. I regain my focus seeing through the pleasure as I continue to stretch Kyle. I don't know how he had so much patience when it came to me because I am literally dying to be inside of him once I get a second finger in. I'm panting hard, leaking from my crown by the time Kyle says he's ready. I had to have him tell me because I didn't want to hurt him. I open the condom putting it on as my nerves set back in. One look at Kyle and they almost melt away. "Stan, I want to ride you."

"What?" I question.

"I know this is your first time topping me but your clearly nervous," notes Kyle. "You can try if you want to though….." I look down at Kyle with my dick throbbing. I lean over pushing his legs back causing him to gasp lightly.

"I want to try….."I admit bringing my nose down rubbing against his. I thrust my dick inside of him slowly watching his eyes roll back as he begins to pant. This….this is just as beautiful as when he topped me. Kyle's hands move down to my lower back massage the area.

"Stan….." he moans. "Hahh…..aarrgghhh…..you're doing great….." I believe him as he tightens around my dick. I must be doing something right.

"Ohhh….haa…." I moan rolling my hips slowly.

"Ha…..fuck…." Kyle leans up kissing me, I deepen the kiss as I deepen my thrust. "Ahhh….ah….."

"Kyle….."I moan into his mouth. I almost lose my breath feeling my pleasure spike. "Hahhh…..nnnggghhh…"I know Kyle hasn't cum but I'm about to be done already. I blink through my love filled haze sliding my hand between us gripping his cock.

"Hahhh…..ha….." cries Kyle. I begin to stroke him as it is helping him move along. I continue to stroke him finding this is an excellent distraction from me busting a nut. I kiss Kyle with everything in me. It almost feels unhealthy. Am I suppose to feel this much emotion towards one person. I could never let Kyle again, never. "Ahhh…..haaa…going to c-cum…..nnggghhh….." I didn't realize my grip on his cock tightened. Kyle begins to roll his hips meeting my strokes.

"Gaaahhh…"I groan. "I'm going to cum…..ahhhh….Kyle….mmmmppphhh…"I whimper at the end as I try to hold off wanting Kyle to finish first. Sadly, his ass started pulsing making me cum hard. "Arrrggghhhh…" I thrust my hips faster and harder than I was doing previously still stroking his cock. "Ahhh….ahhh…." I look down panting in time to watch his cum spill over my hand as I jerk his dick.

"Ohhh….Stan….." moans Kyle as his body shakes lightly. "Hahhh….you did good…so good…nnnggghhhh….." I release his cock leaning down to kiss the side of his neck. He is panting hard but begins to move his legs letting me know he wants to get up. I groan pulling out of him. He grabs some paper towels wiping himself down as I lay down on my back closing my eyes. I did it. I had sex and it went well.

"Ahhh….."I moan as Kyle removes my condom, so sensitive. He wipes my penis softly.

"Are you okay?" asked Kyle looking at me.

"Yeah," I sigh. "I'm okay. D-did I really do okay?" Kyle chuckles beginning to blush.

"Yeah…..I know you saw how hard I came," he mutters. "So embarrassing…" I sit up kissing his cheek before smiling. Kyle tosses the condom away before cuddling into my side. "Where do you think we will be 5 years from now?"

"Our own place," I reply confidently. "Finished school, who knows I think I want to be a successful writer, you will be teaching middle school or high school." Kyle chuckles squeezing me closer to him.

"Good thoughts Stan," replies Kyle. "Let's make it happen." I cuddle with Kyle knowing we will make it happen. Our life is going to be so good together, my best friend, my boyfriend, maybe even my soul mate. I turn on the TV as my mind still focuses on our future.


End file.
